On this day, I was tapping on my consulting table, awaiting the next patient. She was a tall, athletically built, dark lady of about 28 years. Her navy trouser suit was crumpled slightly, like she had been sitting at a desk all day. Even before she told me, I could tell she worked in a bank. I was expecting a complaint of fever or cough or something simple, but she surprised me
. “I have a growth in my groin”,she said
. I asked her to let me have a look. (Not one of the most exciting parts of my job, I tell you). She had a nodule in the area called mons pubis. It’s the hairy area between the waist line and the vagina. She went on to complain of discharges, pain during sex, and so on. I decided to send her for some tests but already, it was obvious that she had a sexually transmitted disease (STD).
“Can you get your partner to come in for some tests”,I asked
.”He doesn’t live here”,she replied. He was living in a state 8 or more hours away
. When I told her to ask him to visit a hospital there and get tested, she opened up to me
. “Last time he visited, I noticed he had this same growth that I now have”,she revealed
. “Yet you had sex with him?” I asked incredulously. I could not believe a lady would go ahead to sleep with a man in whom she noticed very obvious signs of ill health
. “Did he force you? Were you intoxicated? ”
It was like a fairy tale or science fiction?. A man undresses, you observe growths, you don’t take to your heels? Who does that?
“He has even infected me with gonorrhea before and I got treated. It is because he promised to marry me. I don’t want to lose him”, she whined
. Dear reader, someone commented that someof these stories are fictional and I don’t blame him for thinking so. They, however, are cold, hard, facts. A 5.8 feet tall beauty was endangering her life for the vague promise of marriage. Someone who earns enough to foot her bills (and mine); who some decent man is praying to meet; laying down her life for ……… Eish!
I spent some time begging her to make the decision to protect herself. “Do you know how beautiful you are? If you stand by the road, do you know how many men would stop to offer you a ride?” I asked
. “But, I love him, I really love him”, she insisted.”Though I suspect he has someone else, I believe that if I give him time, he will see the way I feel about him”
“O! You even suspect he is cheating on you?” I asked
. “Yeah, he’s harsh on the phone, very suspicious, and he called to ask me to go and see a doctor as he’s not sure if I infected him with something”
Do you have anyone else?”
“No”, she cried
. I have found that few ladies know their worth. At the risk of sounding pompous, why should I make all the compromises? Do you know any man who would sleep with a lady he suspects has an STD? It beats my imagination, dear reader. Not only did she risk complications such as Pelvic inflammatory disease, she was in danger of losing her fallopian tubes. STDs can reduce future fertility and even the simple ones make you more vulnerable to HIV infections. You want to take charge of your life, so you can care for your parents in their old age. Please abstain if you are single, and be faithful if you are married. The world needs you in good health so you can be contribute your talents and gifts to make our lives better.
Proverbs 5:23 “Death is the reward of an undisciplined life; your foolish decisions trap you in a dead end”. (NLT) I love you and I pray you receive the courageto get help. Do send questions if you have any. I will answer them under the ‘Ask Dr. N’ column. God bless.