In Nigeria, abortion is illegal except advised by a doctor in order to save the mother’s life. There are a few cases where due to some complications in pregnancy, it is necessary to terminate the pregnancy for the mother’s sake. Majority of abortions however, are procured for the mother’s convenience. I happen to be a pro-lifer. Not one of the crazies who burn abortion clinics but I will not offer anyone an abortion, or advise on it.
My first abortion was when I was fresh out of school, yet to complete my internship. I was working in a private hospital, quite green, still finding my voice. A lady came in and said she suspected she was pregnant. I sent her for a pregnancy test and it came back positive.
“Congratulations! ” I exclaimed in excitement. “Who do we call to share the good news? Is yourhusband in town”
She did not share my enthusiasm. Now I am more experienced, I rarely make such mistakes. More women are opting to have children on their own and asking about the father would be a rookie error
.”Im not married”she told me
. “What are you going to do?” I asked. I could tell she was in her mid-thirties. (She had given her age as 31 but my mother always says to add 5 years to any age a woman gives you. I don’t know why people lie to doctors).
“I don’t know. I think I want an abortion” she went on, holding her chin thoughtfully.
“Why?” I asked. “Is there no prospect of marriage? Don’t you know who the father is? ”
“What then, is the problem? Have you even told the father of the baby?”
She said she had told him she suspected she waspregnant and he told her he wasn’t ready for a child as his finances were shaky. He felt he could not foot the bills he would incur if he planned a wedding and had to welcome a baby shortly after
. “So do agree with him? What does he do? Does he have a job?”
She replied that he had a steady source of income and was quite mature
. “Do you love him? Is he someone you would love to marry?” I probed further.
“Yes, I love him. I really want to marry him”
“If his only excuse is monetary, I think he can be reasoned with” I concluded. I went on to advice her to tell him her family would not expect him to spend millions. Considering her age, and the fact that she was pregnant, they had more to lose if he didn’t marry her. They would have to take care of both the baby and her, besides answering the inevitable questions from nosy neighbours. It was also an opportunity for the man to get a wife without breaking the bank. I reminded her that many women her age were praying for this blessing and she was reducing her chances of having children in future by trying to procure an illegal abortion. She agreed with me. Thanking me, she left the hospital.
I think those who carry out abortions forget that we have more to gain by keeping those pregnancies. The income from ante-natal care, delivery, post-natal care, immunizations, infant care and so on, far outweighs the income from abortions. Few weeks later, she came back to see me. She had to remind me of who she was because she was so radiant that I did not remember her. Her boyfriend had not only seen reason with her, he went ahead to see her parents and carry out the traditional marriage rites. Not all my abortion stories ended this happily. I have lost several babies I spent hours trying toconvince their mothers to save.
Here’s to all my babies in heaven- ‘I love you ‘
Jeremiah 1:5 “Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you” Every embryo is a child whose purpose has been planned by God. There are so many options for you. You can raise that baby, or give her up for adoption. Consider this before you take a life that is not yours to take. Be blessed