I called the girl into my office privately.
“I know you are not comfortable with a scan, but do you mind a pregnancy test? It will end the matter and since we’ll use your blood, you will watch us carry it out. That way, no one can alter the result”, I told her.
She reluctantly agreed. The test was negative. She agreed to a scan, which also revealed a healthy but empty uterus. Her boyfriend’s mom was overjoyed. The man was embarrassed. He sat outside, head in his hands, unable to believe he had been fooled. The girl launched into lamentation, threatening to harm the staff and burn down the hospital.
“You people have connived to deny me the love of my man! Everyone here is a liar!”
Her voice was loud enough to permeate the hospital. Our “security personnel” were even afraid of her. She stayed there for hours, even when the man left with his mom. Finally, she came in confess to the nurse that she did what she did because she loved the man so much, and didn’t want to lose him.
Ladies are doing so many things to snag a man. The men, though less often, also put up some pretences if they really want to fool a girl. I humbly offer my own tips on how to get a good partner. Please disregard if you are deperate.
You need to be the RIGHT partner! Asking God to give you a good man or woman, when you are the opposite is unfair. Be the prize God wants to present to a worthy child of his. Let it be his headache finding a deserving partner, not yours. The problem with this is, you will have to agree with his terms. If he says no sex before marriage and you don’t agree, then stop bothering him. You can have any of his creation who thinks like you. Those men who will not serve God, but are looking for a prayerful sister, think again.
Your time as a single should be spent learning how to forgive, how to listen, how to put another person’s needs 1st, how to lose an argument graciously, how to forget, how to negotiate, how to get along with difficult people and so on. That is character development. You can practice on your friends (male and female), without getting attached to anyone.
It is a waste of time living with a man, cooking for him, washing his clothes, visiting his folk, rather than investing in your character. He will marry a girl who made him wait, or at least, proved she was worth marrying. What is the excitement he should feel, spending millions for a wedding, when he gets the benefits for free? Apply that intelligence that got you a 2:1, and you will agree.
Brothers, you cannot get a godly wife by accepting freebies. How do you know she’s not after your money? Will she be there if things go south? Do you expect her to stop clubbing after marriage? Can she take care of kids, when she squirms at the sight of your nieces with their runny noses? Bedding her will affect your judgement. Soon, all you will remember will be how great “last night” was. You will convince yourself to overlook her inability to lose an argument.
To those who need to inspect the merchandise beforehand, go for it. However, when his or her character doesn’t hold up, you can always comfort yourself with the sex. Don’t mind those who say an unhappy man has low libido, what do they know?.
This is my own prescription. Work on being a great partner, leave it to God to find someone worthy. While you put yourself out there (being friendly and all that), do not compromise. If it seems to be taking a while, it’s because good things don’t come easily. I leave you with Amos 3:3 “Can 2 walk together except they agree?”. Feel free to drop your comments or send a mail to email@example.com. With love, Dr. N