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I didn’t want to do a post today, because I feel the valentine issue has been addressed by so many people. While reading an old post, this story came to me and I decided to share it. I would have tagged it hospital comedy, but not everyone will think it’s funny. This is the story of Deacon X and his wife.

I used to belong to a church where Deacon X worshipped. He was a powerful man of God. His prayers shook the roof. People invited him to conduct deliverance and such prayers in their villages and ancestral homes. He made a modest living from these prayer excursions. We became family friends because, he approached my mother (who visited occasionally from her more conservative church), in the parking lot. After introducing himself, he told her God directed him to her to help him out financially. She invited him home. He came with a long list of items his in -laws asked him to procure for his upcoming wedding. My mother was shocked at the 4 page list. She gave him what she could and he fell prostrate on the floor to thank her. Later we heard how he handled the in-laws who insisted that he did not bring all they demanded. He held the hand of one of them, looked into his eyes, and muttered some prayers. The guy had a rethink. Lol

Anyway, we took part in the white wedding. I remember 1 of my sisters was on the bridal train. My mom remarked privately, that she was surprised his wife looked much older, but that he seemed genuinely excited. Shortly after, they had a daughter. I remember each time we asked about his wife, he would launch into a long tale of how wonderful she was. “My princess”, he called her, and we would laugh with him. We thought they were very happy.

One day, he showed up with a bleeding gash on his head. That was when the story unravelled. It turns out, he had declared a fast in order to pray for some people, as was his custom. Wifey was having none of that. She locked the room and refused to let him pray as usual.

“That is not why I married you! Every day prayer! Today you must do your duty”

He pleaded that he needed time to consecrate himself and pray. Casting out devils is not a mean feat, I tell you. Princess said No! Undress now, it’s my time. A scuffle ensued. I assume he tried to leave the room (fleeing temptation), she grabbed a heavy padlock and bashed his head. That was the end of the marriage. Last I heard, Deacon X took a job in administration, princess was on her own, and daughter was doing fine.

What is the moral of the story? Sexual compatibility! When I read of women complaining of ‘marital rape’ (some would argue that it does not exist), and such other problems, I wonder. You see, courtship is the time to ask every question. What are your expectations? What is an absolute no no? Christians should have the advantage because if they abstain, they have all the time on their hands to dot their Is and cross their Ts. However, this is not the case.

A lady says, “I can’t possibly ask him to wait! He will go outside” Then why do you expect him to be patient when you are too pregnant to be a tiger in bed?

“She needs to know I am a man?”, you say. When you travel for a course, note that your driver will also show her that he is a man! Your spouse needs to agree with you.

I don’t claim to be a relationship expert, but patients keep turning up in hospital with problems that could have been prevented. A man who is into porn is not husband material, I am sorry to say. Keep searching, sister. He will expect you to hang your holy butt from a pole and worse. Can you keep up? You, dear brother, enticed by her tight clothing, don’t ask her to change after marriage. She will put up a fight.

Let me give you time to mull things over. I hope you spend your valentine celebrating worthy people. Put a smile on the face of someone who cannot repay. And for those in a relationship, don’t forget to write your thoughts. These days letter writing is old school but, I know everyone likes to read a love letter, text, or instant message. Signing off, Dr. N.

And before I forget, Happy Valentine’s


14 thoughts on “Compatibility.

    tenderonii said:
    February 14, 2014 at 8:45 pm

    Same to you Dr. N……it was really funny. A quarter of a rib was cracked,..lmao……last I heard, deacon was in administration…hahahahahha.

      drnsmusings responded:
      February 14, 2014 at 8:56 pm

      Ok 1 person who found it funny. Still counting. Happy val my tender sweetheart

        tenderonii said:
        February 14, 2014 at 9:27 pm

        AWWW,…I like that name “my tender sweetheart”, you’re stealing it from that one person who calls me dat. hmmmm..Thank you my darling Aunty. I sent you a mail lastnite sef, I hope you saw it. CHEERS

    imperfectlyperfect92 said:
    February 14, 2014 at 11:50 pm

    happy valentine Dr N, lots of love..

    niki said:
    February 15, 2014 at 12:21 am

    Same to you too Dr N. You see some people believe sexual compatibility means having sex before marriage to test drive and see how compatible they are but isn’t an individual’s sex drive always changing so can you know for sure if you are sexually compatible in marriage. I always thought it was up to ppl and they choose to work at it. what do u think?

      drnsmusings responded:
      February 15, 2014 at 8:46 am

      Yes it changes with mood swings, work pressure, kids, debt, car trouble, etc. And u cannot prepare for it without developing character. What u tasted b4 marriage may change taste.

    Presh said:
    February 15, 2014 at 6:34 am

    I love Dr N…always dropping it the waY it is…Deacon X must have learnt his lesson bitterly…i must confess the story was hilarious….Are you on twitter?

      drnsmusings responded:
      February 15, 2014 at 8:38 am

      Poor Deacon X. Thanks. Yes I’ll soon put up my twitter handle

    D'Dream said:
    February 20, 2014 at 5:13 pm

    Lol. cant help laughing.

    Well many Christians are just religious not believers. A husband cant just go on fast without the consent of his partner the bible made it clear that such prayers wont be answered!

    Perhaps the woman never bargain for that. this might served as a lesson those holy molly sisters who are in pursuit of getting married to a pastor. you had better get an understanding before you say i do

    thats my few kobo

    D'Dream said:
    February 20, 2014 at 5:18 pm

    by the way spirituality does not cancel common sense.
    God himself wanted to live a balanced productive christian life.

    Going all spiritual and neglecting the mind and body is a disaster waiting to happen.

      drnsmusings responded:
      February 20, 2014 at 6:44 pm

      I hear. Hope holy molly sisters hear too

    mzquinn92 said:
    June 30, 2016 at 2:25 pm

    God bless you Dr .N
    I dont know how to explain this but i just thank God i have the priviledge of reading your write ups. its really teaching me, am still single and i pray i put everything have read to practice because its one thing to get informed and its another to apply it.
    God bless the works of your will do exploit

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