How to choose a wife.

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A bride and groom standing together

Back in the day, your wife was chosen for you by your family. You would get home to be told a young damsel from a good home, pretty, in great shape, well mannered, and domesticated, had been picked for you. Usually, she met all expectations,including, bearing as many sons as possible. Years later, so many methods of finding a wife abound. Joining a bible-believing church after playing the field, snatching a friend’s girlfriend, reforming a former ‘escort’, e.t.c. We have shifted our values from who will love me through thick and thin, care for my kids, and accommodate my family. It’s now who is hot in bed, able to grind in the club, hotter than my friends’ babes. Brothers, we are missing the point. Not every woman will make a wife. Some need to be left to make their career on social media. I read comments addressed to ladies on blogs like “Go and marry” e.t.c. Not everyone wants to marry, and not everyone should.

I currently work in a children’s hospital. Most children are brought to hospital by their mothers alone, or by both parents. It is rare for a father to bring his child. When he does, he often has to call his wife, to answer most of your questions. This is excluding single fathers, of course. I was surprised to meet this man who brought a 2 year old girl and answered all my questions. He knew her immunization, birth, and nutritional history, her favorite food, e.t.c. Out of curiosity, I asked of her mother. He launched into a tale of woes.

He married a lady recommended by a friend, after a very short courtship. She turned out to have no maternal instinct whatsoever. Despite him providing adequately, he often returned from work to find she had not fed the child all day. She loved to wander out and do who-knows-what, while the child starved. He cautioned her to no avail. Rather,she found a way of turning the tables on him. If the child was ill, she preferred to buy drugs from chemists (drug stores), than take her to the hospital. He often gave the girl a bath, took her to plait her hair, and so on. I could not believe it. He then revealed that his brother-in-law, complained of the same behaviour from her sister.

Long ago, my mother told me of a mother whose son brought home his intended to introduce to her. She called her son aside.

“Son, where did you find this one? She’s not pretty, at all”, she complained.

“Mama, she’s humble, industrious, and a very good cook”, her son replied.

“So what?”

“I love her. She’ll make a good wife”

“Please go and get me a beautiful girl, a princess. I don’t mind if I have to come and do the cooking and cleaning myself. This one is too ugly, see her flat nose! Hardworking, my foot!”, his mother hissed and stormed out.

My mother swears this is a true story. It always makes me laugh. We women are harder on ourselves sometimes.

What to look out for in a wife? Compassion, loyalty, maternal instinct, industry, humility, willingness to learn, ability to associate with people inferior to her, financial prudence. Is she truthful, easy to please, good with children? If she has the willingness to acquire these values and and to acquire domestic skills, it also counts. Will she apologize if she’s wrong? How important is her fashion to her? Will she spend school fees on peruvian hair? Is she patient, or will you change domestic staff weekly? Can she stand your friends? These are things you should look out for.

It will be difficult to pull the wool over your eyes if you keep your zip up. Once you’re between her legs, all your reason is gone, man. You will be in debt before long. May I add that bedroom skills can be acquired more easily than the skill of getting along with a tiresome mother-in-law? Now you know why you should consider the ‘orobo’ (plus sized lady), you have been avoiding. Maybe she’ll make a better wife than the hot chick with no brains. Please leave the “vixens” to keep entertaining us, and marry the one who will agree to suck mucus out of your son’s nose. (I have actually seen mothers leave their sick babies to the help while they attended to frivolous matters. One lady refused to let us treat her child because she needed to spend the money on his naming ceremony. Perhaps she lied to his father about his condition, I don’t know).

Just a pointer to the “few” clueless guys out there. I thank you in advance for doing all you can, to make a great partner. Proverbs 31:30 “Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears God is to be praised (and married, I add)”.


22 thoughts on “How to choose a wife.

    pynk said:
    March 9, 2014 at 7:31 pm

    Ok. I am a fan of yours. Don’t worry I am a woman not the 14 years type. I shake my head at the mother who refused her child treatment in the name of having a naming ceremony. Hmmm.

      drnsmusings responded:
      March 9, 2014 at 7:44 pm

      Worry? Lol! Lil me having fans? ?…..

    tenderonii said:
    March 9, 2014 at 11:18 pm

    lmao @Will she spend school fees on peruvian hair?
    Marriage is something to put in your best choices into. I believe men should do more than looking for a woman who can satisfy them in bed and no good mother should look for a physically beautiful to make a good wife for her son because true beauty is in your character and personality and it comes from within.
    Great news for the men. ThanKS Dr. N

      drnsmusings responded:
      March 10, 2014 at 6:14 am

      But we like pretty girls, not so? Tho charm is deceitful. Lol

    nik said:
    March 10, 2014 at 9:29 pm

    As you said we like pretty girls and we want to be pretty. I believe we should be attracted to whoever we marry and beauty is both inward and outward. At the end of the day beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Being teachable is my favourite quality to have because it shows that although you might not have ‘arrived’ you are humble and willing to learn.

    Tito Tobi said:
    March 10, 2014 at 10:22 pm

    Really, the world is upside down and as enlightened as we’ve become, it turns out that the people who chose wives for their kids then, know better. Even the ladies you find in churches today are worse than the street girls. I remember trying to ask out a “firebrand” church girl once. Her reason for not agreeing was ”I didn’t own a car”. I know it’s not good to be poor but haba, car? Wetin you go tell your Pastor in 8 years time when you start coming for deliverance.

      drnsmusings responded:
      March 15, 2014 at 11:32 am

      Why would she be coming for deliverance? I’m interested in that one o. I say, good riddance to her though. Firebrand nothing!

        Tito Tobi said:
        March 15, 2014 at 6:07 pm

        *smiles*. They come for deliverance when they start getting to a certain age and don’t command the same amount of attention they used to when they were younger. Anyway, I recently heard of this popular pastor in Nigeria who actually tells his female congregation that their fiance should come with his bank statement and proof that he has savings whenever they are coming for counselling.

        drnsmusings responded:
        March 15, 2014 at 6:10 pm

        O, I get it now. As for the pastor, na another ting him dey find

        Tito Tobi said:
        March 15, 2014 at 6:44 pm

        Abi O….

    jcsgrl said:
    March 12, 2014 at 2:50 pm

    Well I know this is a post of what to look for in a wife but can you do one on what to look for in a husband? Women can be soo overlooking of a lot of important assets but instead focus on he can provide and good in bed. Those two DOES not a husband make!

      drnsmusings responded:
      March 12, 2014 at 4:15 pm

      Almost afraid to do that cos ladies feel bombarded with such info when d men should be doing the looking. Will think about it tho. Thanks

    Elder said:
    March 15, 2014 at 12:04 am

    My dad taught me my first lessons on opportunity costs and scale of preference. I kinda applied that in finding me wife and I think it worked out well for. You may not be able to get all the requirements your heart desires in one woman but which are most important and which can you manage without should be your questions.

      drnsmusings responded:
      March 15, 2014 at 6:49 am

      Great dad u have there. Thanks for dropping by

    Elder said:
    March 15, 2014 at 12:05 am

    My dad taught me my first lessons on opportunity costs and scale of preference. I kinda applied that in finding me wife and I think it worked out well for. You may not be able to get all the requirements your heart desires in one woman but which are most important and which can you manage without should be your questions.
    By the way, how are you doing Dr. N?

      drnsmusings responded:
      March 15, 2014 at 11:33 am

      I’m doing great. Thanks for asking

    E' said:
    July 21, 2015 at 9:32 am

    Hahaha at leave the vixens nno
    My dear, these Social media and then ‘feminists’ stays deceiving both men and women…


      drnsmusings responded:
      July 21, 2015 at 4:19 pm

      Lol. Stories that touch after marrying empty headed vixens

    mzquinn92 said:
    June 30, 2016 at 1:46 pm

    thank you

    mzquinn92 said:
    June 30, 2016 at 1:47 pm

    your writeup will impact lives

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