Back in the day, your wife was chosen for you by your family. You would get home to be told a young damsel from a good home, pretty, in great shape, well mannered, and domesticated, had been picked for you. Usually, she met all expectations,including, bearing as many sons as possible. Years later, so many methods of finding a wife abound. Joining a bible-believing church after playing the field, snatching a friend’s girlfriend, reforming a former ‘escort’, e.t.c. We have shifted our values from who will love me through thick and thin, care for my kids, and accommodate my family. It’s now who is hot in bed, able to grind in the club, hotter than my friends’ babes. Brothers, we are missing the point. Not every woman will make a wife. Some need to be left to make their career on social media. I read comments addressed to ladies on blogs like “Go and marry” e.t.c. Not everyone wants to marry, and not everyone should.
I currently work in a children’s hospital. Most children are brought to hospital by their mothers alone, or by both parents. It is rare for a father to bring his child. When he does, he often has to call his wife, to answer most of your questions. This is excluding single fathers, of course. I was surprised to meet this man who brought a 2 year old girl and answered all my questions. He knew her immunization, birth, and nutritional history, her favorite food, e.t.c. Out of curiosity, I asked of her mother. He launched into a tale of woes.
He married a lady recommended by a friend, after a very short courtship. She turned out to have no maternal instinct whatsoever. Despite him providing adequately, he often returned from work to find she had not fed the child all day. She loved to wander out and do who-knows-what, while the child starved. He cautioned her to no avail. Rather,she found a way of turning the tables on him. If the child was ill, she preferred to buy drugs from chemists (drug stores), than take her to the hospital. He often gave the girl a bath, took her to plait her hair, and so on. I could not believe it. He then revealed that his brother-in-law, complained of the same behaviour from her sister.
Long ago, my mother told me of a mother whose son brought home his intended to introduce to her. She called her son aside.
“Son, where did you find this one? She’s not pretty, at all”, she complained.
“Mama, she’s humble, industrious, and a very good cook”, her son replied.
“I love her. She’ll make a good wife”
“Please go and get me a beautiful girl, a princess. I don’t mind if I have to come and do the cooking and cleaning myself. This one is too ugly, see her flat nose! Hardworking, my foot!”, his mother hissed and stormed out.
My mother swears this is a true story. It always makes me laugh. We women are harder on ourselves sometimes.
What to look out for in a wife? Compassion, loyalty, maternal instinct, industry, humility, willingness to learn, ability to associate with people inferior to her, financial prudence. Is she truthful, easy to please, good with children? If she has the willingness to acquire these values and and to acquire domestic skills, it also counts. Will she apologize if she’s wrong? How important is her fashion to her? Will she spend school fees on peruvian hair? Is she patient, or will you change domestic staff weekly? Can she stand your friends? These are things you should look out for.
It will be difficult to pull the wool over your eyes if you keep your zip up. Once you’re between her legs, all your reason is gone, man. You will be in debt before long. May I add that bedroom skills can be acquired more easily than the skill of getting along with a tiresome mother-in-law? Now you know why you should consider the ‘orobo’ (plus sized lady), you have been avoiding. Maybe she’ll make a better wife than the hot chick with no brains. Please leave the “vixens” to keep entertaining us, and marry the one who will agree to suck mucus out of your son’s nose. (I have actually seen mothers leave their sick babies to the help while they attended to frivolous matters. One lady refused to let us treat her child because she needed to spend the money on his naming ceremony. Perhaps she lied to his father about his condition, I don’t know).
Just a pointer to the “few” clueless guys out there. I thank you in advance for doing all you can, to make a great partner. Proverbs 31:30 “Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears God is to be praised (and married, I add)”.