Help, She bit me!

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Many people do not believe that men can also be victims of domestic violence. I remembered this story because I read a comment on a blog, where someone complained of her uncle being a victim. Though less common, I must chip in, that men need not be so ashamed that they put up with such treatment. A young man of 20 to 22 years was brought in by a screaming woman. He was lethargic, so it was up to her to tell us what was wrong. She was busy shouting at an unknown person, and ranting. When I could not get anything reasonable from her, I looked at the boy, and saw he had a blood stain on his boxers. That was all he was wearing. Obviously, he was even too shy to point out the injury. (Being treated by a lady is not always easy. Sometimes, I let a male colleague get them to relax 1st. That day, I was alone).

He had a bleeding cut on his penis. The young man was a baker, who lived in a 1 room apartment with his lover. She got angry with him that night over who-knows-what, and attacked him. Perhaps, she suspected he was cheating on her, so she decided to maim the instrument of contention. How her teeth got there, I don’t know. She proceeded to bite the living daylights out of him. His screams alerted the neighbours, who applied first aid and called his sister. We had to suture the cut. This was a harrowing experience for both of us. I was single and naive. Certainly, my 1st few encounters with that part of the male organ, were turning out to be unpleasant. He was ashamed of himself. The nurses and his sisters were not helping matters. Scolding him loudly, for not being man enough. I wondered why he did not notice her intentions early enough. Soon, the procedure was done. Note, “Lord, send such cases to other doctors, please”.

I advised his sister to assist him during his recuperation as it would be an ideal time for lover girl to move in and continue her torture. Also, I told him he didn’t need a live in lover at that age, and earning peanuts. What would be left for him to save after buying all she needed? I hear you wondering how a man can be so weak? Some men grew up without a father figure. Either their mother raised them alone, or their father was under their mother. Some of such men will never have the strength men usually have. They either become bullies, or are easy to bully.

The other day, I went to pick my 3 year old son from school. His teachers asked me, ” Are you Superstar’s mother?” I laughed and said yes. He has the habit of referring to himself as “Superstars”. Note the use of the plural form. Somehow, he believes the singular is not as powerful. A few months ago, I went to pick him and this little girl ran up and introduced herself

“Are you X’s mum? I’m his best friend”, she quipped.

I was surprised as he had never mentioned her. He frowned at her and firmly stated, ” You are not my best friend!”

I was embarrassed and tried to get him to apologise but he refused. Later, I asked his teacher about the incident. You see, he was 1 of the youngest in his class at the start of the term. I worried he would be bullied initially. She laughed and told me the girl was very domineering and was fond of forcing everyone to be her best friend. Not surprisingly, my son wasn’t interested.

What is my point? I doubt such a confident child will be a victim of domestic violence. Let us be careful to find worthy male role models for our sons, if their fathers chicken out. A pastor, uncle, e.t.c. can serve. If you are a man, and a lady abuses you,walk away and consider ending things. You may react in anger and end up harming her. Or, she may graduate to physical violence. Women have also been known to hire thugs to deal with men. Do your best not to provoke a lady. At the same time, do not be ashamed to cry for help. Find a mature man who will not laugh at you, but will help you. Do not, because she gives you money, food,shelter or sex, put up with dehumanising treatment. You are precious to God, and we need you alive. Cheers


16 thoughts on “Help, She bit me!

    Mz Poise said:
    March 13, 2014 at 7:28 pm

    How u manage suture dat part.:))))
    I can’t even imagine sef,……..male abuse is def not rampant but it does happen. I just hope he didn’t go back to the ‘evil’ girl friend.

      drnsmusings responded:
      March 13, 2014 at 8:08 pm

      Hateful job I telllllz u!

    Mz Poise said:
    March 13, 2014 at 8:18 pm

    Lolzzzzzzzzzz. …………u tried ooooo

    imperfectlyperfect92 said:
    March 13, 2014 at 8:29 pm

    I just remembered a story my dad told us, of a colleague that his wife dealt with, with so much beating, so much so, after their divorce, he became a pastor.
    funny. but this is real, most men are just too ashamed to get help

      drnsmusings responded:
      March 13, 2014 at 8:38 pm

      U mean the beating made him become a pastor? That kind beating eh!

        imperfectlyperfect92 said:
        March 13, 2014 at 9:42 pm

        I am telling you Dr N. we laugh that day eh, my dad say na true o

    niki said:
    March 13, 2014 at 8:38 pm

    Wowza, there is no excuse for domestic violence. Even when the person seems okay they might still be violent when you do something they deem horrible. We are all humans and make mistakes so people need to learn how to deal with their anger and not turn you to a punching bag.

      drnsmusings responded:
      March 13, 2014 at 8:46 pm

      Yes O! They should go and get help, not take it out on others

      drnsmusings responded:
      March 13, 2014 at 8:48 pm

      Yes O! Deal with it privately

    tenderonii said:
    March 14, 2014 at 6:37 pm

    lol……wow, this is really terrible, I trust God to help such people out of it. Thanks ma’am

      drnsmusings responded:
      March 14, 2014 at 6:39 pm

      I see u squeezing your nose, lol .

        tenderonii said:
        March 14, 2014 at 6:41 pm

        lol,…..u saw almost right. My very own aunty…ur funny ooh

    Tito Tobi said:
    March 15, 2014 at 8:59 pm

    Hmm, male abuse is quite rampant, Ms Poize, it’s just that it takes something special for a man to say he got beat by a woman. I heard of a woman about two weeks ago who slapped and beat her husband in front of Shoprite, lagos for being late.Also, many men try to be over-civil and over-careful when handling women. If U injure a woman, nobody will hear your side of the story. I’m a living proof of that. Had this lady who developed a habit of slapping me (real slap O) in secondary school(SS1), maybe because I was quite gentle. I never struck back because a friend of mine did two years earlier and when the girl died, he was arrested and never finished his education despite being a minor in JS2. Many guys taunted me but I just refused to hit back. Then one day, another girl tried it and I returned the slap and she virtually went deaf for a whole year.It was a sad story for me; the doctor, parents, everyone blamed me except my brothers who knew I normally don’t do such.Until the day, the girl suddenly regained her hearing, I wasn’t free of insults. I remember another lady while in the University who lifted her hand to try and slap me because I told her she was carrying out her experiments the wrong way, nothing more. Someone had to hold her while I told her it was the last thing she will ever do if she tried it.Personally, i think that was a threat because I’d have probably just given her a small pat not comparable to what i’d have got. Talk of feminism and all those things flying around.

      drnsmusings responded:
      March 16, 2014 at 1:27 pm

      Guy, this your slap! We need to draft u to fight boko haram! Some ladies should just be avoided.

        Tito Tobi said:
        March 16, 2014 at 7:51 pm

        LoL:) I won’t resist drafting, I will just run away.

        Tito Tobi said:
        March 18, 2014 at 9:22 am

        🙂 lol

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