My post “You flatter me”, reminded me of this story. This man was a CEO and an old patient of a hospital I worked in years ago. It was my first time meeting him though. He was brought in by the trembling ‘Mrs. Know it all’. Do read that post if you haven’t. I was surprised someone could make her cower. She was usually on her A game.
He was pleasant enough, as we got chatting about his health. That was before his phone rang. I could make out some of the conversation.
“Hello, let me call you back”, he said.
I don’t know what the caller must have said.
“I’ll call you back. I’m in the hospital”, he said.
“What! Are you sick?”, she asked.
“Which hospital? Let me come and see you. Do I cook pepper soup for you? ”
“I said I’m talking to the doctor. You don’t need to come”
The caller kept offering to come till he snapped at her and ended the call.
“Doctor, why are girls so desperate these days?” he asked me angrily.
“I don’t understand”, I replied innocently.
“This is a girl I met in a club. I can’t even remember her clearly. She has been on my case’
I cluck my tongue sympathetically.
“No, really, what is happening to ladies? Can’t they just get a job like you and stop looking for a meal ticket?”
I laughed. “I feel she was being caring”, I offered tongue in cheek.
“Caring? I tell you, I have had it up to my ears with these girls. I don’t know how they get my number. Some even trace my house”
“You can’t blame them. See the kind of car you drive”, I smile.
I tell you, the man was drop dead gorgeous. Tall, dark, very handsome (not as handsome as my husband but a close 2nd. Lol). Do you blame the ladies for going babanas? Company CEO, mid thirties, suave, and courteous. What more could you ask for.
“I can’t imagine you behaving like that”, he snapped, still irritated.
“But I’m married. Do you know how I behaved when single?”, I tease.
“No, it’s not possible. At this rate, I will never get married. These girls are vicious”
His phone rang again. “You see? It’s the same number”, he said as he answered it.
“Hello. Yes, I’m still there. No, you can’t come. I’ll call you when I leave. Stop calling”
By now, I was laughing out loud. This girl was not playing!
“Doc, don’t you have younger sisters?”
“I have 3”
“How old are they? Are they doctors too?”
“One is an Engineer, who is engaged. The other is a lawyer. And the 3rd just got into the university”
“Does the lawyer look like you? ”
“She’s the prettiest of us all and she’s taller than I am”, I answer, rubbing it in.
“Give me her number. I think she’s going to be like you. I need a good girl”
I laugh like he is joking, though I know he isn’t.
“Seriously, I need her number”
“No, I will not give you her number. If you meet her somewhere, great. But, I will not play matchmaker, except I can vouch for you”
He spent more time arguing, pleading, and bargaining. In fact, he refused to leave till the nurse came in to throw him out, as patients were waiting.
“Why won’t you just give me her number? I’m a nice guy”
“Forgive me. I want more for her”, I stood to walk him to the door.
“What! You are pregnant? “, he exclaimed.
He was just noticing that I was pregnant with my first son. I laughed.
“I couldn’t tell while you were sitting down. Most pregnant women look disfigured. How come you are not? ”
I shake my head with more laughter.
“Now, I’m really dying to meet your sister”
I shoo him out while he continues to state his case. He promises to return the next day to resume the pleading and I laugh. Later, I told my sister what happened. Of course she asks why I didn’t give him her number. By now, you are also wondering why. The simple reason is that he was not born again. You may be the nicest, gentlest, handsomest, richest guy but, if you love not my Jesus, I cannot connect you to anyone I love.
Many Christians, male and female, flirt with unbelievers. We believe we can control them, convert them, change them, etc. Before long, we are sucked into their lifestyle. That is when you begin to hear excuses like
“All these born again people are worse than unbelievers!”
“I prefer unbelievers. They don’t deceive you”
How many girls have married a poor unbeliever? How many men have married an unbelieving girl who was not pretty and came with no family connections? Let’s call a spade a spade. They are great as colleagues, neighbours, acquaintances, etc. They are not for intimacy. Do not even start. If all your secrets, and intimate thoughts are for them, I believe you are on a slippery slope.
Not only in marriage but certain business partnerships, relationships and so on, are better within the kingdom. Yes, Christians who are immature, can hurt you (ask Jesus what Judas did to him). That should not turn you off. Just believe God for a kingdom relationship.
Another thing is that I believe a woman should have no competition in her man’s life. For me to put my dear sister in a situation where she is one of many rather than the only, does not work for me. Wouldn’t those girls come after her? Could she tolerate his ego? This “oga”, who is used to girls falling all over him? Eish! I cringed to think of my sister trembling at the sound of his voice.
One of my friends dated someone like that. He calls her on phone and shouts, “Be here in 30 minutes, or it’s over!” She leaves everything and dashes to his house in fear. No matter how friendly the cub and the deer are, when he becomes a lion, the deer will change from friend to food.
So, what do you think? Guys, do you think ladies are becoming too forward? Ladies, should I have connected them? What would you do, in my shoes?
Cheers, Dr. N