Great Sex

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Yes, I’m talking about the forbidden fruit today. It breaks my heart to read letters sent to blogs by purported virgins, asking if their decision to wait is right. Some ask if the 1st time will be painful, others ask if waiting till over 25 years is unhealthy. Whether virginity is for men, or sex will ever be fulfilling for them are other questions. They seek answers from people who are in and out of strange beds every night. What an error!

I write this to everyone who has made the decision to wait. Both primary and secondary virgins (those now abstaining after a previous experience). For those outside this category, I’m sorry to bore you. Please carry on with your lifestyle. I only ask that just as we love you, warts and all, you accept the choice we have made, graciously.

When I was a medical student, one very unpopular resident doctor was making a presentation during a grand ward round. I don’t remember the topic.All I remember is a statement he made about a patient.

“She is still a virgin at 25, which is not healthy for her”

A gasp went out from the gathering. We had professors, consultants, and all manner of doctors of every age there.

“Dr. Silly, where did you get your information? “, his superior asked.

“From the internet, sir”

“What website? Are you quoting a research we have not heard about?”

“Sir, it’s on the internet. All I know is that it’s not good to be a virgin at that age”, he insisted.

Despite all corrections, do you know he remained unconvinced? I know several men who waited for the right time. They are purposeful, driven, focused, powerful men. That sexual energy is channelled into their work. You don’t want to bid for a job with them, cause while you are in bed with prostitutes, they are up preparing. Also, their prayers are very powerful.

My dear, demons tremble at the voice of a man who can obey God in this area that has made many stumble. They place a demand on God by their obedience and He loves them specially. Not that they cannot sin by lying or something but, this particular obedience makes them God’s favourites. Having conquered this area, it is easier for them to yield any other area of their lives to God, most times. This is not a hard and fast rule but, I believe, it takes a lot of submission to God. Look at the myriad of avenues for temptation: Girls of easy virtue, porn, opportunities for contracts from women bosses, e.t.c. It will require them drawing God’s energy to say No and be happy about that decision.
© Copyright 2009 Corbis Corporation

I just love the confidence of men who wait. Their swagger is out of this world. One of my cousins who waited till he got married in his 30s, is one of the most confident men I know. There is this power that comes from knowing that no one can call you to say “I’m pregnant; what do we do?” Lol

Ladies, the decision to wait must be as an offering to God. You cannot remain a virgin for fear of STDs, pregnancy, or heartbreak. The devil will give you good reason to fall, just as he convinced Eve. It has to be because of the love you have for God. Like some married women would say “I love my husband too much to cheat on him”. If you love Jesus, He will know.

What do we do with sexual desires? We celebrate them! Thank God you are not frigid. If you are single and waiting, when the desires spring up, you burst into thanksgiving. Thank God that you will not need to pray for your husband to arouse you. I must mention that the Holy Spirit was given to empower us to obey God. Trying to abstain in your own power is setting yourself up for failure. Why do you think people say it’s impossible? Of course it is, on your own. It’s just like taking a maths exam without a calculator.

I read a man’s story on a blog of how his wife had to be sedated for them to have sex, once a month. Whaaaaat! No! This is not the will of God for us. We do not feel repulsed by sex. It is not dirty, or sinful. It is just something we give up in worship of our God. Ladies, this must be your mind set. Sex is great, just not now. Do you get it? Ice cream is great, just not for those trying to lose weight.

When you meet the right man, you need to open up your heart slowly to the idea that God has authorised him to receive the jewels you have been keeping for Him. Slowly, as the wedding approaches, you see him as a priest who receives the offering. Just as the Israelites gave their precious sheep and doves to the priests to burn and even eat, but believed it was God who got the glory. So I honour God and my husband with my body. If I lie there stiff as a board, muttering “Blood of Jesus”, the guy will be turned off. Soon, we will need a marriage counsellor. Rather, I let go with reckless abandon, just as I scream and dance in church, so both he and Jehovah are excited. Let’s be real ladies, it takes 2.

For men, you need to learn how to make your wife ask for more. The same way you denied yourself for years, so you must deny yourself in the marriage bed till she is satisfied. No 2 minute men in the kingdom, please. The bible says, “Dwell with her according to knowledge” You need skill to make sex great and the Holy spirit is the best teacher I know. Don’t let Johnny from the office teach you things that only work on prostitutes. She is a queen, learn her own rhythm.

Great sex, is marital sex. It comes guilt-free, with no secrecy, no consequences, and no judgement. You have no one to compare each other to. It refreshes and rejuvenates. This is what I was taught by my mentor. She said. “Sex is not a favor to your husband, it refreshes you, so get enthusiastic. It will keep you young and healthy, and make your marriage stronger and more intimate” When I saw the way her husband looks at her (at their age), I accepted her advice. The man is enamoured with her.

So, I am not an authority on sex but, if you love Jesus, take my word for it. “No good thing will he withhold from you who are upright in heart” For the married, please keep the worship service going. You will never regret it. Cheers, Dr. N. For questions on the Holy Spirit, read my post “Radio Signals”. You can send me an email via

Note: I hope you get my point. There is honour in waiting. When married, sex is a blessing, not a bargaining chip. It gets better over the years and God is actually interested in your sex life. Please seek counsel if there are deeper problems rather than let the devil destroy your marriage.


58 thoughts on “Great Sex

    imperfectlyperfect92 said:
    May 31, 2014 at 10:53 am

    I over smiled at the name when I got the email..
    I over over smiled when I opened this.
    Thanks dr N..more grease!

      drnsmusings responded:
      May 31, 2014 at 11:07 am

      Well u know I like ya smile, hehehe!

    imperfectlyperfect92 said:
    May 31, 2014 at 11:04 am

    Re-read again..
    We need to be careful about who we take counsel from.i had an older male friend who said he was told that his abstaining will affect his semen..he was like what? So God who gave this commandment doesn’t know that it’s good for me? Thank God he discarded that advice just as i’ve had to discard some wrong info too.. when we know who we are, we can tell when something’s not right. And the Holy Spirit is really the anchor for us. Body cannot do this alone.
    And oh, as for the swah of guys that abstain? It’s certified, sealed and delivered! Thrz just something about them that no man that swings anyhow can get jare.

    adefunke62 said:
    May 31, 2014 at 12:03 pm

    Thanks so much dr N, I wil wait! Its a promise btw myself nd my God

    Tomiwa said:
    May 31, 2014 at 12:05 pm

    Hmmm, Dr N, it’s like God sent you and Frances to me today o. I still committed this issue to God this morning. Thank you.

    jsjms said:
    May 31, 2014 at 2:53 pm

    Reblogged this on Jsjms's Blog and commented:
    A must read for this generation.

    dnddyon said:
    May 31, 2014 at 6:58 pm

    God bless you Dr N!

    Inthe... said:
    June 1, 2014 at 1:56 am

    Loved it!! I lol’ed quite a bit …”Dr Silly” indeed.

      drnsmusings responded:
      June 1, 2014 at 11:50 am

      Couldn’t resist d name. Lol. Thanks

    letitout said:
    June 1, 2014 at 6:29 am

    naw dis post got to me esp d ”i cant do it alone” aspect, belive me dr N, i tried and jus wen i taut i was strong, it happened………ave been @ a cross road since. Been unable to connect spiritually.
    The way u talk about d holy spirt makes me jealous, wish i had it going for me jus like u.
    Belive me God had me in mind wen he inspired u to write dis

      drnsmusings responded:
      June 1, 2014 at 11:52 am

      I believe u. Please send me an email so I can introduce u to The Holy Spirit. Read my post “Radio Signals”. Hugs n kisses

    Anonymous Chick said:
    June 1, 2014 at 6:54 am

    I found this post real, funny, amusing, educative and amazing!!! I couldn’t agree more. There is something about sex in marriage that keeps it going stronger. I also like the fact that you mentioned that God is interested in our sex life. And yes, complete abstinence before marriage is obedience and an act of worship to God; and I agree with you that if one can be obedient in this area; other areas are really easier.

    And can I just say that sex is spiritual; there is more than just the physical meeting of man and woman and that is why it must be kept only within the boundaries of marriage. The enemy has been using fornication to destroy destinies of many, a lot of people don’t realize that there is much more going on more than physical pleasure when they lie with another. May God help us all.

    niki said:
    June 1, 2014 at 7:36 am

    Thanks Doc

    pheobe said:
    June 1, 2014 at 7:14 pm

    so its wrng to hv sex with ur bf ryt

      drnsmusings responded:
      June 1, 2014 at 11:08 pm

      No, it’s only wrong if u make a commitment to live for Christ. Accepting him as Lord means obeying him. For everyone else, whatever rocks your boat is fine. No one can judge u

        Fola said:
        June 18, 2014 at 9:45 am

        I love this response. We are not obliged to trust and obey when we have not accepted Jesus. Once we accept, we are under obligation to obey and faithfully look forward to reaping the gains of our obedience.

    ememesiette said:
    June 1, 2014 at 10:39 pm

    Great sex, is marital sex. I think that is my best line.
    Abstinence pays. All this running around brings too much stress. You have a direct pathway to God’s voice, unobstructed by the junk that would have otherwise been in your life.
    Bravo Dr N.

    1 + The One said:
    June 2, 2014 at 11:31 am

    Great post.. I believe it’s a worthy sacrifice

    E' said:
    June 2, 2014 at 4:16 pm

    Dr Silly indeed.
    Great post o jare

    jcsgrl said:
    June 2, 2014 at 8:06 pm

    You berra preach it sista!

    Tito Tobi said:
    June 3, 2014 at 10:04 am

    Like your matter o’ fact way of writing. Great post. Good truths. Difficult but possible to abstain.

      drnsmusings responded:
      June 3, 2014 at 5:17 pm

      Matter of fact indeed. Lol. Thanks

    Tito Tobi said:
    June 3, 2014 at 10:23 am

    LoL @that woman who needs to be sedated for her husband to have some good time. How far can we just go in the name of religion and fear 🙂

    essiemals said:
    June 5, 2014 at 9:42 am

    Just about taking my morning tea and had to take a pause to read this through#o yes…just what’s been going through my mind,great article Sir#we need a generation of fearless Men&Women_Am enjoying the race & wouldncompromise for a 1night stand_cant wait to share this great gift with my God giving spouse……. Well wriiten,I must say#more grace…

      drnsmusings responded:
      June 5, 2014 at 4:39 pm

      Thank u. Hope u enjoyed your tea. Winks

    essiemals said:
    June 5, 2014 at 9:46 am

    Reblogged this on THE QUEEN'S BANQUET and commented:
    I Recommend

    Claire said:
    June 9, 2014 at 6:37 pm

    Lovely piece Dr Musings

    tenderonii said:
    June 9, 2014 at 9:47 pm

    Great post ma’am.,….it is awesome to know people are being blessed by this post. I’m submitted to my Lord Jesus. I’ll remain submitted,…he deserves it and more. He owns me ABSOLUTELY.
    Thanks ma’am,..I know you missed me….exams ma

      drnsmusings responded:
      June 9, 2014 at 10:00 pm

      I pray for your success. Kisses

        tenderonii said:
        June 9, 2014 at 10:02 pm

        Thanks ma, prepared to cook that meal we discussed cuz i’m coming home (lagos) soon,..very soon.

        drnsmusings responded:
        June 9, 2014 at 10:10 pm

        Lol. Seeing is believing

    elsieisy said:
    June 12, 2014 at 5:34 pm

    hahahaha. funny, interesting and spirit filled. We are who we are by the grace of God. God has given us a conscience, i’l say let each man/woman’s conscience be his/her judge.
    i like the way the Dr. went from talking about the abstinence outside marriage to how God is interested in our sex life (in marriage).
    And this got me laughing ” Rather, I let go with reckless abandon, just as I scream and dance in church, so both he and Jehovah are excited. Let’s be real ladies, it takes 2.” loool .
    I love this!

      drnsmusings responded:
      June 12, 2014 at 5:53 pm

      Cringes. That paragraph took all my anointing. Hoped it was hidden. Lol. Thanks

        adaeze said:
        September 21, 2014 at 8:57 am

        rotfl. dr n, u have a great sense of humour.

    Anonymous said:
    June 16, 2014 at 8:19 am

    you commented on naijahusbands post o too much book saying you would also do a post on your wedding night. Have you done that yet? If so what’s the direct link as i cant seem to navigate thru your site to find posts.

      drnsmusings responded:
      June 16, 2014 at 8:41 am

      You eh? Are u a monitoring spirit? Hahaha! I need hubby’s permission. Keep hoping. Winks

        Anonymous said:
        June 16, 2014 at 9:45 am

        lol. means you havent asked him!! Thats what interested me in this sex post thinkin it was IT!! Please DearWonderfulHubby give this permission!! we need to learn!! (show this to him and i am sure it will do the magic!!) 😉

    Fola said:
    June 18, 2014 at 10:10 am

    Despite being a single mum, I have been abstaining for a year and one month. But I must confess, it can be tough. Confession: I’ve put (not found) myself in a compromising situation a couple of times; so bad such that penetration could easily have happened. But there is this inner strength I never thought I had (I believe that’s Holy Spirit at work) that has been preventing me from a total fall. By and by, it makes me appreciate my body more. It feels like a prized possession once again. I tell you, waiting for the ‘right’ time is one of the best decisions anyone can take.

      drnsmusings responded:
      June 18, 2014 at 5:39 pm

      I like u (and I don’t say it lightly). Once, a pastor said “Even if your clothes are off, start praying in tongues and putting them back on”. God helps us to avoid compromising situations. More grace

    adaeze said:
    September 21, 2014 at 9:01 am

    I just read this post and its a great relief to see that God still has His “7,000” in this age. by His grace, I gave my life to Christ pretty early and His grace has been keeping me. I’m 25 now and I’m gonna keep myself till my wedding night. not by power, might or wisdom but by His grace.

      drnsmusings responded:
      September 21, 2014 at 12:24 pm

      Amen. He will work in u both to will n to do of His good pleasure. E hugs

    thegracedmisfit said:
    May 21, 2016 at 8:23 am

    God bless you, Dr N. You (and all your words) are heaven sent.

    mzquinn92 said:
    July 1, 2016 at 11:32 am

    Dr N. i love this post it just boosted my moral more .have been abstaning for years now and am happy about it.i see it as a covenant btw ME and GOD.when you said “Ladies, the decision to wait must be as an offering to God” “‘It has to be because of the love you have for God” when you explain this to other, they think you are too holy and they think its by your power, that you have more grace than them.
    i pray they understand its a person decision.

      drnsmusings responded:
      July 1, 2016 at 6:05 pm

      O, don’t bother explaining
      The yam farmer does not have to explain to the corn farmer why his crop takes more time

    scarletmakeovers said:
    December 20, 2016 at 8:43 am

    Permission to reblog this

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