Can you take a hint?

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Couple lying in bed together

If you have an African mother, you know how much power a glance carries. As children, when we visited a friend of the family or a relative, we knew better than to jump at every offer of food or drinks. You had to check with mom. Sometimes she would not say anything. It was left to you to recall her “earlier expressed sentiments” about that individual. Silence can be so loud, I tell you.

In my line of work, confidentiality is absolute. Or is it? So many things happen in the hospital that make you want to scream. Unfortunately, you have to plaster on a smile and carry on. I want to use an incident that a matron told me she was personally involved in, to remind us all to learn to take a hint.

This lady had been the matron in charge of that particular hospital for years. She knew every patient, their kids, their addresses, their dogs, and even their cats. She’s the kind of lady who could reel off a patient’s medical history if his file got lost. That’s how good she was.

One day, a spritely young nurse was employed in the hospital. She was very pretty and eager. Before long, there was a rumor that she was being courted by one of the hospital’s richest patients. This man had the kind of money that makes people answer “Yes, Sir!”, when no one called them. (That was meant to be a joke in case you didn’t get it). He was in his mid forties, either divorced or widowed, and had been a patient for a long time. The matron called the young nurse aside.

“Is it true Mr. Moneybag asked you out?”,she enquired.

Young nurse rolls her eyes, and makes a face.

“I’m just asking”, Matron reassures.

“Yeah, he asked me out”, Nurse replies, looking away rudely.

“Are you interested in him? I thought you had someone before you came? ”

“Eh…He is not really serious…”

“I just want to advise you, as my daughter, investigate well before you have anything to do with anyone. Some of these men are not straightforward”

Young nurse made some non commital sound and walked away. Shortly after, another member of staff walked up to the Matron to ask her if she had any problem with young nurse. It turns out that she had told a number of people that the matron was jealous of her. The wise lady realised she was being labelled a “hater”, “enemy of progress”, and worse. She went back to the nurse and apologized for being nosy, assuring her that she had no evil intentions.

You may have figured it out. Mr. Moneybag had AIDS and his status was a closely guarded secret. He and the nurse had a lavish society wedding. The who is who of the town attended. She had everything she could ever dream of. The Matron shook her head while the lady danced and he sprayed her with Naira bills.

AIDS is most certainly not a death sentence. You can live a very normal life and even get married. However, I am sure, any sane person will prefer to go into such a marriage, fully informed and prepared. There lies the crux of my message. You know better than every one else. The property you want to acquire, someone tells you that area is prone to floods but, you won’t listen. The job you are taking, they have been owing their staff for months, yet you plunge right in. I don’t even want to speak of relationships.

Will every situation be perfect? No! Sometimes, we need to take risks. However, according to Ben Carson, risks should be evaluated carefully. This year, keep your sensitivity acute, your ears sharp and your intuition active. You will need it.


Dr. N


26 thoughts on “Can you take a hint?

    nikeaduke said:
    February 9, 2015 at 8:16 am

    Spot on, Dr, N! Some people who are tagged ‘hater’ actually mean well sometimes but it’s unfortunate that the person being cautioned or given the hint doesn’t see it that way. I think the young nurse, given her kind of profession, should know better than getting married to a man without carrying out the necessary medical tests.
    Have a nice day, Dr. N!

      drnsmusings responded:
      February 9, 2015 at 4:41 pm

      So in lovd dear. Thanks

    LYNDA said:
    February 9, 2015 at 8:17 am

    Thank you Dr N and God bless

    blogaddict said:
    February 9, 2015 at 8:38 am

    You are very correct, Dr N.
    Atimes in desperation we fail to see all the signs indicating the course we are about to take is not right for us…God help us.
    Have a great week ahead.

    Frances Okoro said:
    February 9, 2015 at 8:41 am

    Ah, see wahala.
    Ofcourse she will find out in marriage that the man has aids..maybe even through herself contracting it.Lord help us.

    I remember the “eye” my mom used to give us.
    It used to make us sit up!
    It can make your cry before the cane sef if you have committed.

    That same eye is what I will heed from this post.
    Thanks Dr N.
    Happy new week!

    Pam said:
    February 9, 2015 at 11:46 am


    livelytwist said:
    February 9, 2015 at 7:34 pm

    Dr N, this is what I don’t understand, why didn’t they do medical tests before getting married? I thought blood type, HIV, etc, were standard these days.
    On the other hand, we let emotions overrule common sense. Your advice is timely in any sphere of endeavour. Thank for sharing.

      drnsmusings responded:
      February 9, 2015 at 8:34 pm

      A man who paid to ensure only d med director, matron n d guy who tested him knew his status? You think he’ll consent to a test? Naaaah! He would come up with so many excuses

    Fola said:
    February 10, 2015 at 11:36 am

    Dr. N, please educate my ignorant self. I thought HIV is what one could live with for as long as possible and not AIDS? I thought (full blown as it is qualified) AIDS means death within a very short period?
    Thanks a lot for the advice.

      drnsmusings responded:
      February 10, 2015 at 4:11 pm

      HIV is d virus and AIDS is d disease. Your life span with either depends on a no of factors notable among which is CD4 count. Even with AIDS if d count is high, u may live a good while. And d drugs help to keep viral load low.
      Note that u r in no way ignorant. Lol

        Fola said:
        February 16, 2015 at 4:35 pm

        Thank you Dr. N.
        You are the kind I want to meet when I do hospital visits.

        drnsmusings responded:
        February 16, 2015 at 6:46 pm

        Lol. Thanks

    E' said:
    February 11, 2015 at 12:19 pm


    Anonymous Chick said:
    February 12, 2015 at 7:33 am

    May we learn to be observant and vigilant.

    Hey doc how far with the last installment of the short story?

    Cheers 🙂

      drnsmusings responded:
      February 12, 2015 at 10:08 pm

      Internet issues. No vex

    itstamie said:
    February 12, 2015 at 11:40 am

    The fact that she being someone in the medical line didn’t insist on knowing test results…says a lot about her.

    If he even gave so many excuses for not doing the tests, that should even be a blood red flag sign for her….in this day and age..

    Covering cast.
    Too bad…she will find out the hard way.

      drnsmusings responded:
      February 12, 2015 at 10:09 pm

      Love covers a multitude of….diseases. hehehe

    niki said:
    February 14, 2015 at 10:54 am

    Kpele for her… all i can say.

    Christain chic. said:
    March 5, 2015 at 1:46 am

    No words! A word indeed is enof for the wise

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