How to Build influence

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I have mentioned before, that I used to work in a very busy hospital where I was the only female doctor. Shortly after I began to work there, a lady was employed as the Public relations officer (P.R.O). I will call her P.R.O henceforth. She was pretty, intelligent, very friendly and hardworking. Her job required that she interact with the more corporate clients. The HMOs (Health management organisations), banks, insurance companies and the like. Most times, she was on the road attending to her duties.

She had a great dress sense. We soon became friends and each time she came to my office, I would compliment her dressing. She often had a dangling set of earrings, well manicured artificial nails, her hair loose, and her make up on point. I, on the other end, would have made “an effort”, in the morning but by mid-day, the work would have taken its toll on my “outfit for the day”(a la instagram)

“Dr. N”, she would complain. “You no try at all*. See how you packed your hair up. Why don’t you wear dangling earrings?”

“P.R.O, you won’t understand. Leave me alone” I would smile.

“Understand what? You have your scrubs if you have to enter the theatre. Why not wear a killer outfit while consulting?”

“But, we often have emergencies that take me to the E.R suddenly. Do you want someone to throw up on an expensive outfit?”

“No one will do that! What are the nurses for?”

“My dear, in the hospital, all hands have to be on deck. One of these days, I will call you in to help me”, I teased. “Don’t you see even the security men help out sometimes? ”

“Olorun maje! I can’t! My own work is outside, abeg,” she snapped her fingers.

I laughed. One day, we had an emergency. A lady had a delivery. I asked one of the nurses to go and call the P.R.O for me. She was to tell her that I was calling her, and nothing else. When she got to the mini theatre door, she peeped in and asked why I called her.

“Come in” I motioned, keeping a straight face

“Huh? ” she nearly puked.

“We need help. The nurses are stretched thin. Come in and wash your hands”


“Yeah. Not to worry, I just need you to hold her legs and encourage her”

All the while, the patient was moaning loudly, my hands were stained as I was carrying out some procedure or the other. The floor was full of blood, excrement and other waste.

“Did I tell you that I am a doctor? ” she had her palm over her nose and mouth.

“But you work in the hospital and you are the fashion expert”I stuck out my tongue.

“Count me out”.She gagged and ran out .

Suffice it to say, that was the last we heard of that. Now, I shared this story, not to encourage people not to get dolled up. No. I want to talk about our unwillingness to get our hands dirty. We are all citizens of this world. The bible says though we are in the world we are not of the world. God has placed us here to be a light in the darkness. Evil thrives when good men keep silent. How is it that the economy is being run by men whose god is their belly?

We borrow to pay teachers and public servants while politicians fly private jets. Industry is dwindling while there is a cabal controlling importation. You try to set up a business, multiple taxation drives your costs up. People, we have let the ungodly corrupt the world because we refuse to get involved. You can spend the rest of your life reading your bible and praying but change will never come. How do we set law and order in place? We have to gain influence.

Listen closely. Influence does not come easy. You have to step out of your comfort zone and relate with others. Say hello, ask about their welfare, join an association, voice an opinion, attend a wedding, pay someone’s tab at an event, offer someone a ride, call the numbers in your phone. Good people hide at home, minding their business. Evil doers work their contacts. Why do you think they will be remembered and given positions of responsibility they often do not qualify for?

We all know of Commisioners, LGA chairmen and others who cannot string a sentence together! Start today. As you pray for global peace, pay the fees of your driver’s daughter. You can send your domestic help to school. Visit your village and greet the traditional ruler. Buy him a goat, hen, even recharge card! Little drops of water, they say… Let’s build our influence people. In a few years, we can take over and weed out impunity. How can a governor owe salaries for months? I don’t get it!



So feel free to tell me in specific terms how we all can exercise government in our little spheres of influence.

Cheers, Dr. N


35 thoughts on “How to Build influence

    E' said:
    August 1, 2015 at 8:35 am

    A lot of times, we are waiting to be in this ‘position of authority’ with a ‘title’ to offer our help, or influence others.
    Let’s face it, some of us will NEVER be. But the deal is wherever I am, title or not, I can ‘do something’
    I have this neighbor who’s very young, naive, not-so-buoyant, and baking a bun in a ‘situation’ (long story). She tried severally to visit but I’ll always be, well, polite. Trying to mind my biz and stay on my lane. One day she met me up as I took out my baby’s dryer. Since she stuck around, I struck up a convo. For someone due this month, her level of naivete left me astounded!!! Azzin Dr. N it was not funny. I then knew I had to do something both in cash and kind.
    I didn’t have it all but I had just walked that road. And so I took it upon myself to help.
    And when I decided, the heavens conspired to make it happen.
    I’m grateful to help. That’s what God would have expected of me. THAT is why we are here!!!

    Oh btw, I love doctors who are very very VERY fashionable ON THE JOB *side eye and tongue out at dr N*

    *running away*


      drnsmusings responded:
      August 1, 2015 at 8:56 am

      The fashion thing adiro mfe biko. Lol. I love fashion but u have to be practical. There is only so much I can do n still run like d boys.
      As for neighbours, I am glad u took dt opportunity. At least if u r nominated as a senator, she will campaign for u. U know?

        E' said:
        August 1, 2015 at 10:48 pm

        Or best still, someday when I need help from someone more ‘influential’ he/she will help and not hide under his/her bed 🙂

        drnsmusings responded:
        August 2, 2015 at 6:17 am

        You are the helper God has appointed.

      reformed silent reader said:
      August 3, 2015 at 7:36 am

      Very true, E. We all need to do what we can to help and start right where we are. What might seem little to us might make a lasting impact on the life on another.

    Susan said:
    August 1, 2015 at 9:15 am

    I get where you are coming from. I often silently berate myself for not getting involved in the different associations at work, and then complaining when things are not done the right way. I got scalded in my first and only foray into politics in 200 level and that has made me wary.
    It’s way easier to sit on the sidelines and form that politics is dirty. But really, Christians do have to get involved.

    As for helping those around us, even Brother James says we should not see someone in need, and just say “God bless brother”. Give them what they need, what you can afford anyways.

    God bless fashion-conscious women oh! I have resigned myself to the fact that that gene was deleted at birth. Like you, even the small one I manage to do is wiped off by midday. By evening when I’m on my way home & see chicks looking all powdered & glossy, I wonder why and how. I’m usually the tired-looking girl whom everybody urges to go home & rest. Thank God for my sisters. They ensure I have good clothes.

      drnsmusings responded:
      August 1, 2015 at 10:50 am

      I tell u. How do people keep make up on all day? I don’t take mine out of d house except rarely. Too much fuss

    Adaeze said:
    August 1, 2015 at 9:36 am

    “Good people hide at home, minding their business”. Reminds me of Edmund Burke’s famous quote “The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing”. While the PRO’s story might seem funny, I’m glad you related it to our collective aversion to getting our hands dirty. Thanks for this amazing wake up call

    impressed said:
    August 1, 2015 at 12:43 pm

    As usual you’ve said some profound truths here. Christians are too busy praying and thinking about entering the kingdom that they don’t remember they’re supposed to serve our brethren here on earth.
    One step we all need to take is to learn who our leaders are. Most people find know their senator’s names or how to contact them. All we know how to do is blame the president for the crimes of our local leaders
    We’ve also forgotten that we are the answers to the prayers we make. We ask God to heal our neighbor but refuse to donate to the neighbors hospital fees. We ask God to give us good leaders, but we refuse to vote for good leaders or even train our citizens in basic leadership (doesn’t the bible say that he who wants to lead must first serve?)
    We pray against corruption but refuse to take a stand and choose to bribe policemen every day. Christians should be ready to get our hands dirty o. Look at the blacks in America who entered jail willingly to fight for their rights. How many of us in Nigeria would be willing to risk jail for refusing to bribe a policeman? We need to get our hands dirty and take the battle far. I believe so many of us will not enter heaven because on judgement day God will ask us “WHAT did you do on earth?” And we’ll answer “nothing”

      drnsmusings responded:
      August 1, 2015 at 5:49 pm

      Sometimes saying NO is even powerful. Imagine PMB saying he can’t find honest men. Why? The honest men are hiding at home complaining

    Nike said:
    August 1, 2015 at 12:53 pm

    Yay…. sometimes the bad in people stops us from doing good, because of our negative experiences helping people we act cold. But if we are closing our eyes to all… when someone who needs our help pass by is we won’t be aware. I pray my heart breaks for what breaks God’s heart, regardless of how i feel.

      drnsmusings responded:
      August 1, 2015 at 5:50 pm

      We can ask God to show us those who genuinely need help

    Lizzieebunoluwa said:
    August 1, 2015 at 2:11 pm

    Gbam! Pithy post on point!
    When we build influence, we create opportunities to establish the excellence of kingdom culture.
    Thank you for sharing ma’am.

      drnsmusings responded:
      August 1, 2015 at 5:52 pm

      Yeah. We even make a way for those who think like us. Eg Okonjo Iweala made a way for Ezekwesili in world bank

      E' said:
      August 1, 2015 at 10:47 pm

      Lizzie nne’m kedu nke bu kwanu ‘pithy’???

        Lizzieebunoluwa said:
        August 2, 2015 at 11:47 am

        *rotfl* Google bukwa ezigbo enyi nne oma.

        drnsmusings responded:
        August 2, 2015 at 1:09 pm

        Make I go google am

    Sue said:
    August 1, 2015 at 2:18 pm

    Dr N, thanks for the poignant reminder to us that we are the salt and light that the world needs, put here to make impact.

    I pray God expands the reach of your pen and the clarity of your message, Amen! (Paper publications are waiting on you………)

    Olori said:
    August 2, 2015 at 4:53 am

    So apt. My pastor said the same thing. You can’t be the might of the world if you don’t go out and mix. He isn’t asking that you conform to the world but you can still shine your light subtly.

    How are you DR N?

    favour said:
    August 2, 2015 at 9:16 am

    Way to go Dr N , we don’t have to hold a political post to make a difference, it starts from where we are right now. How do we relate with people around us.-our neighbors, colleagues , domestic workers, acquitances etc. We have to be diligent in the little that God has given us , our diligence gives God the confidence to entrust us with more.

      drnsmusings responded:
      August 2, 2015 at 1:09 pm

      Dilligence is it. Not always coming to work late n praying in front of those who came earlier

    Anonymous Chick said:
    August 2, 2015 at 12:30 pm


    Loved how you used the PRO’s story to get the point across. Someone truly must be willing to do the work and not just stand there pretty.

    Okay, stepping out of my comfort zone…

    reformed silent reader said:
    August 3, 2015 at 7:46 am

    Yep! This spoke to me. I have been quite complacent while hiding behind the “I’m minding my business” excuse. Gaining influence definitely needs one to step out of their comfort zone. For introverts like me na double wahala but there’s a reason why God said we should deny self. Here’s to getting involved so as to make a difference.

      drnsmusings responded:
      August 3, 2015 at 8:55 am

      It’s actually disobedience. Imagine if d good Samaritan had minded his biz or Jesus did when they attempted to stone d adulterous woman or Peter when d blind beggar asked for something at d beautiful gate.

    miss Pynk said:
    August 4, 2015 at 10:19 am

    Many of us just need to learn to be less selfish. Christians, extroverts and business minders alike. When we realise that God placed us here to do better and offer help to others- we will move forward…provided we don’t approach it from a self righteous standpoint.

      drnsmusings responded:
      August 4, 2015 at 10:27 am

      Yes, it has to be in obedience to God who commissioned us to take territory. Let me share an example. My mom is heavily involved in her village politics. She convinced d women to build a library. B4 she gained that influence, she paid d price by attending meetings, serving in diff committees and using her money to fund projects. Finally, they trusted her to direct them, not to organize a party n squander d money but to leave a legacy.

    How to Build influence « Logion Jewellery Box said:
    August 11, 2015 at 7:25 pm

    […] How to Build influence. […]

    Monisola Adio said:
    August 11, 2015 at 7:27 pm

    Very well written, Dr N. So very true. More grace to you sis!!!

      drnsmusings responded:
      August 12, 2015 at 8:11 am

      Thank you. God bless u

    Bella said:
    August 13, 2015 at 9:42 am

    Thanks DrN!!! This post has convicted me. I am so guilty of, not necessarily minding my business but, worrying that I already have TOO much on my personal plate to be adding extra load and trying to ‘face my work’. I really NEED to get involved and get my hands dirty!!! More grace…

      drnsmusings responded:
      August 13, 2015 at 1:10 pm

      Wow! I felt convicted by your comment alone. Lol. Now I am checking my own life to be sure I am doing as I preached.

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