Stay Approachable

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So I was in This Present House today and Mrs. R was teaching on the story of Namaan in 2kings 5 who was an army general. First of all  I had always battled with an army general who had leprosy but she put it in context. There is every possibility that he contracted it in the course of things; not that he was born a leper. I was wondering why his wife’s slave girl, a war prisoner from Israel should feel so concerned about his condition that she recommended Elisha. Again, when Namaan refused to dip in the river Jordan as prescribed by Dr. Elisha, his servants referred to him as “Father” when urging him to try the treatment. I can’t imagine a ferocious and intimidating warrior being referred to so fondly.


The thought that hit me was that the man had dual personalities.

Years ago, I spent about 3 months working in the staff clinic of a polytechnic. I had 2 male colleagues, a matron and a number of female nurses to contend with. My duties were to do medical fitness examinations for students who had gained admission, treat common illnesses in staff and students and offer first aid in cases of emergency. I loved the job because I got to meet a lot of young people. I was probably 26 or 27 (I looked 20 cause I was so skinny) so I got a bit of attention from those who marveled that I had finished school already.

I remember the colleague who was senior to me telling me not to apply myself too much as the pay was not worth it. The other one refused to touch patients without gloves because he didn’t want to catch something (even though he could have just washed his hands). I had to be all things to all men.

To my senior colleague, I was the humble, unobtrusive lady who only did her duty.

To the other one, I tolerated his skittishness though I felt like calling him out.

To the matron I was the ever available doctor who got there before the others and saw as many patients as she referred. She always knew I had her back.

To the nurses, I was friendly but firm. They knew what I expected of them and they did not need too many reminders.

To the staff I was bristling with medical information, always ready to counsel and give my opinion on everything from marriage to child care to boyfriend issues (I know what you are thinking. Lol).

When I got home I became the daughter of highly accomplished parents who needed me to listen to them and give them encouragement.

Did I mention I was in the choir and had to also remember to drop the day’s work and get into worship from the gate?

Where am I going with this? On the day I had to leave the job, the staff organized a going-away party for me and got gifts and made speeches with everyone saying something kind. My other 2 colleagues kept  asking what the hullaballoo was all about seeing I had not been there for long.

We all have different roles in life and people have their expectations of us but we must learn to adapt without losing our identity. This is something only the  spirit of God can enable you do. If you are constantly asking him “Am I doing what  you need done? How best can I serve you today? Is there anything you want me to make happen?” then you give God room to touch others.

You can keep insisting “This is just how I am! I cannot change for anybody! I don’t pretend!” but the truth is you are missing opportunities to witness. Namaan was a big boy at the war front but at home he was a kind master. He probably treated his staff fairly. Maybe they were impressed with his faithfulness to his wife or he paid them regularly or he made sure they were well-fed. Whatever be the case he knew how to be tough when he needed to be and kind when necessary.

Dear muse, have you carried your “Nobody should mess with me!” face that you use in intimidating opponents at work to your home? Is your witness affected by your loud voice that drowns that of others? You are not only setting yourself up for a fall, you are a prime candidate for elevated blood pressure and all sorts of cardiac disease. Stress is a proven precursor of many illnesses. Why not take that mask off, relax your shoulders, take a deep breath and put a smile on your lips.

Now raise your hands and say “I am not too accomplished to be approachable”

That’s better! See you in health. I love you.



Dr. N.


Note: I do not use the phrase “Dual personality” in the same context as the psychiatric term.

Also, I thank you for your patience while I nursed the latest addition to my family. Yes, Dr. N has 4 children. All I can say is if you have had enough get contraception ASAP. lol. I will be more regular, I promise. And thanks for all the messages. I really appreciate the love. God bless you







40 thoughts on “Stay Approachable

    Enitan said:
    June 11, 2017 at 4:28 pm

    Like, first of alllll….welcome becckk!!! Long hiatus that was!😁👏Now off to read.

    Zom said:
    June 11, 2017 at 4:31 pm

    Finally! Welcome back, Dr N. 😊😊

    requ1ne said:
    June 11, 2017 at 5:05 pm

    Welcome back, doc! Missed your presence on this platform.
    Thank God for his faithfulness in your life and family.
    This is the takeaway for me:  “I am not too accomplished to be approachable”

    Akpevwee said:
    June 11, 2017 at 5:50 pm

    Welcome back Dr N. Was so excited to see the notification for this post and congratulations on the new addition to the family.

    Gabbyspeaks said:
    June 11, 2017 at 6:30 pm

    Welcome back MA, I really learnt a lot from this post. In the environment I work in every seems to be in a kind of a competition with the other person.. I have resolved to just keep to myself and just do my work.. I have to change that attitude now, thanks for this post. How is our latest baby doing..

      drnsmusings responded:
      June 11, 2017 at 9:36 pm

      Baby is awesome. Thanks
      Glad to hear from u

    adefunke62 said:
    June 11, 2017 at 6:35 pm

    Congrats ma. Welcome to baby N

    Curious said:
    June 12, 2017 at 12:30 am

    Welcome back!

    jennlinkblog said:
    June 12, 2017 at 1:43 pm

    Welcome back and Congratulations!

    Tamie said:
    June 12, 2017 at 1:51 pm

    Welcome back Ma!!!
    Plenty love and hugs to the latest addition to your family!

    *Now lemme goan read the post a second time*

      Tamie said:
      June 12, 2017 at 1:57 pm

      Learning to adapt without losing our identities. Word. Thanks ma.

        drnsmusings responded:
        June 12, 2017 at 6:41 pm

        Great to hear from u

    teekay said:
    June 13, 2017 at 1:36 pm

    To think that I longed to see a new post from you just last week.
    Congratulations on your latest addition. Thanks for sharing this with us.
    I do need to make some amends. God bless you and welcome back!

      drnsmusings responded:
      June 13, 2017 at 11:04 pm

      Thanks for your patience

    mzquinn92 said:
    June 13, 2017 at 3:44 pm

    Finally welcome back Dr N

    mimispassion said:
    June 16, 2017 at 2:40 pm

    Glad to have you back.

    exceptionalstar said:
    June 17, 2017 at 1:16 pm

    Congratulations on the bundle of joy. I learnt from the post and I’m glad you’ll be frequent!

    Anonymous Chick said:
    June 19, 2017 at 4:21 pm

    Yippie you’re back!!!! Congrats!!!!! God Bless your new arrival! Been checking on your blog for updates and couldn’t believe it when I actuall saw one! Glad to have you back. Hugs and kisses to baby.

    Fairly said:
    June 20, 2017 at 5:05 pm

    Congrats on the new arrival. Dr. pls what is best contraceptive, for somebody that has had enough.

    Anjola said:
    June 21, 2017 at 12:59 am

    Congratulations Dr N! You’re so right getting contraception if you’ve had enough. That was how my mama had a surprise baby after she had closed shop- ten years after her 3rd child lol.

    This was a great post. It really got me thinking. Welcome back and God bless you and your precious family.

      drnsmusings responded:
      June 23, 2017 at 12:38 pm

      You feel me. Lol

    maryj01 said:
    June 23, 2017 at 6:10 am

    Congrats dear😘I have missed u and all your exceptional blog posts😀

    Ada_ugo said:
    July 14, 2017 at 3:49 pm

    Thanks Dr N, I really like this message. Many years ago, in JSS 1 or 2, I was all about getting my act and my life together. So, one of the mechanisms I devised for achieving that was subconsciously walking with a scowl on my face. I kind of felt that the scowl would let people know that I am very serious and focussed. And then one day, a friend of mine walked up to me, burdened with a message. Her message? – “Why do you frown all the time? It puts people off from talking to you.” Having successfully delivered her message, she walked away. I was shocked for a few moments, as I had never considered that what others see when they looked at me was not a serious person, but an unapproachable young girl. To this day, I am so grateful she told me that, as I have since then worked on being open and enjoying the journeys that life takes me on, and appreciating everyone I meet in every unique scenario. Behind the job/role/social status of anybody is the real person. There is a wealth of information, experiences and happiness that we can all benefit from if we start seeing other people beyond the driver, waitress, maid, carpenter, director, manager, engineer, lawyer etc that they are, and somehow break through to the very person that they are on the inside. Paul said he knows how to be abased, and how to abound. We can extrapolate that to different scenarios in life. In this instance, we ought to know how to interact with the “high and mighty” (by worldly standards) of society, and those who are not so much. Amazing message you have here, I am so happy you are back.

      drnsmusings responded:
      July 15, 2017 at 7:37 pm

      O wow!
      Preach sister!
      God bless u

    The Women At The Well said:
    August 5, 2017 at 5:20 am

    Dr N!!! Thank God you are back !!! Missed you 😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😂😂😂😂😂. OK catch ya later

    Feyi's Dairy said:
    September 6, 2017 at 12:53 pm

    Congratulations Dr N and welcome back!!

    I am not too accomplished to be approachable.

    Fey said:
    November 23, 2017 at 5:13 pm

    Big congratulations Dr. N on your new baby… so happy for you. The joys of motherhood… I’m a wife and mother too…
    Love and kisses to the little one… GOD bless your family real good. Amen

      drnsmusings responded:
      November 23, 2017 at 5:49 pm

      Congrats to you too


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