single mom

The Woman I Deserve 25- Conclusion

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Happy young businessman using digital tablet --- Image by © Sonja Pacho/Corbis
Happy young businessman using digital tablet — Image by © Sonja Pacho/Corbis

 

Chapter 10

It was 3 months after PA made it known that he was in a relationship. He didn’t exactly announce it in church but he introduced her to close associates and key staff. There were mixed reactions as expected but Ama’s behavior shocked him the most.

“That girl is not suitable for you, PA and you know it!” she had said during a heated argument.

“Is it up to you to decide?” he asked quietly.

She sighed and crossed her arms over her chest. “I apologize for my tone. PA, I have loved you like a son even though I am only a few years older than you. I will not mislead you. She may paint herself as an angel but I think she is coming to destroy everything you have worked for over the years.”

“How can you say that?” he cried.

“She is selfish, can’t you see? Why did she hide the boy from you in the first place? She knew that no decent man would want to be a step-father to a chinko!”

“Ama!”

“PA, I have to be blunt. This church belongs to all of us and we have invested so much in it. I don’t want people to make fun of me that my pastor was fooled by a loose woman.”

“Let that be the last time you will say that, Ama. Only God reads hearts. She is better than those who aborted their own babies.”

“PA, she should have aborted that boy!” she spat.

“Ama, you can close for the day. This discussion is over.” He rose to show her he meant business.

She rolled her eyes as she left his office. At her desk, she sat stiffly, head in her hands, elbows on the table, trying to hold back tears of frustration. She could only blame his stubbornness on some kind of witchcraft. There was no other explanation for a man who could have any woman on earth to choose the one woman who would divide the church.

Her phone rang but she ignored it till it rang twice. She answered when she saw it was Pastor Odion calling.

“What did he say?” He cut right to the chase.

“He has not changed his mind,” she replied.

“I have told him that he should not be in a hurry. Why not take some time, maybe two years and pray for God to give him a wife? I don’t understand what hold this girl has on him.”

“I partly blame myself. I should have pushed harder for that Toyosi. Maybe, we wouldn’t be in this situation.”

“Anyway, a few leaders and I are talking. We are thinking of starting something shortly,” he said.

“Starting something?” she asked.

“Yes, a new ministry.”

“Wow! That is serious.”

“It is still hush-hush for now but we just can’t see ourselves under a mummy pastor whose story has a comma.”

Ama shook her head in disbelief. “Who else is in on this?”

“Chief Ebenezer has offered us some property. Abike has pledged some good millions. We have some good people.”

“Ebenezer who owns Karat plc?”

“Yes. The person we have kept out of the loop is Ovie. I don’t trust him.”

Ama thought for a moment. “He is PA’s guy.”

“All of us are loyal to him but our loyalty to God supersedes. The kingdom is above any man and we have a clear word from God on the requirement for a leader. Saint Paul said a leader should be the husband of one wife, not given to drink and have control over his family. The wife of a leader should be above reproach,” he postulated.

“I’ll have to think about all this,” she said after a period of silence.

“That’s fine but I trust you to keep this to yourself. We would really love to have you on board. I know you are the one who keeps the office running and it just tells poorly on PA that he can disregard your concerns despite the key role you play.”

“I appreciate that. Let me get back to you.”

‘Don’t take too long. The king’s business requires haste.”

“I’ll do my best.”

 

*******************************************************************

 

Pastors Onyema and Mofe invited PA for a chat when the rumors started flying. They met at Pastor Mofe’s house. He had guessed why he was there but PA was unfazed. It should be a small matter for him to win them over and besides, did he really owe them any explanations?

They had had dinner and were lounging in the living room. Pastor Mofe’s wife (Mama) and Pastor Onyema’s wife (Remi) joined them after an interval. Mofe cleared his throat to silence the chatter.

“Thank you everyone for honouring my invitation. I know we have been friends for long. PA here is someone we all admire and respect. We have been on his case about marriage particularly as he turns 40 this year. Let me get to the point,” he began.

“PA, we deeply honour the anointing on your life but the bible says in a multitude of counsel there is safety. You introduced a lady to us as someone you want us to pray along with you about settling down with. We all rejoiced with you especially as you told us so many good things about her.”

“What is this now we are hearing about her having a son for a Chinese or Japanese man…I don’t even know which is which?”

There were murmurs across the room. PA cleared his throat and sat up straight.

“Thank you for inviting me to clear things up,” he began. “She had a son for a Korean man when she was about 20 years old. At the time, she had backslidden from the faith. In as much as I would have gone for a woman everyone would be comfortable with, I am constrained by the love of God. He, who has been forgiven much, should not find it difficult to forgive and we all were once sinners.”

“PA, we are talking about a woman who will lead other women in church, mentor the youth, and even attend the meetings of wives of pastors. Do you know what that entails? Leaders will be held to higher standards,” Mama argued, leaning forward earnestly.

“She was not a leader when she had the boy. I think her past more than anything qualifies her to help other people to make good choices. Let’s be real. Do we know how many members of our congregations are living with people they are not married to, committing adultery, aborting their babies? Yet, we make it seem okay. This woman has owned up to her mistake and turned a new leaf. That is true repentance,” PA countered.

“Men do not forgive as God does. Don’t get me wrong, I am not judging her. All I am saying is you deserve better. The church deserves better. We need role models not women who ate their cake and still had it!” Sis. Remi said.

“Ate her cake and had it?” PA wondered.

“Some sisters in church are virgins, primary and secondary. God did not lead you to marry them. It is the one with a son, a chinko for that matter…”

PA interrupted her with a raised hand. “I won’t have that! Please watch your language.”

“Sisters, let’s be civil,” Mofe added.

“It just rubs people the wrong way,” Mama finished for her.

“Thank you,” Remi said.

“I appreciate your concerns. Zina is the woman I deserve. God has given me the go-ahead to be with her and I hope you will accept her,” PA stated calmly.

Pastor Onyema, who had been silent, spoke up. “The thing you don’t know is that this thing has already divided your church. Many of your members have left. There is a lady who introduced herself to me as Becky. She said she left because you are a hypocrite.”

“How am I a hypocrite?” PA asked, surprised.

“She said you suspended her and one Sis. Nkiru for the same sin your girlfriend committed. How do you explain that?”

“They were suspended for nearly coming to blows at a leaders’ meeting.”

“I don’t know about that.”

“Of course she left that part out. I did not suspend her for being in a relationsip. In fact, she showed no remorse. She never has and probably never will. The young man involved has moved on but she still tries to win him back.”

“Are you sure he is not the one chasing her?” Pastor Mofe asked.

“They were in a love triangle. The 2nd sister involved is funding Pastor Odion’s new church, just to get at me. But God is my witness. If I had sensed an aiota of repentance in them, they would have been re-instated. What do I gain by alienating people?” His voice was earnest.

There was an uncomfortable silence in the room for some minutes before PA’s phone rang and shattered it. He cut the call and put the phone in silent mode. Leaning his elbows on his knees, he bowed his head into both hands.

“We are just looking out for you. A man of God’s first consideration should be the flock. You don’t just marry any fine girl out there. You have to go for a woman who can hold the fort,” Pastor Mofe said.

“We could spend all night talking about this but I have to obey God,” PA said.

“I hope it is actually God you are hearing from. Girls of these days are diabolical…” Mama sneered.

“Haba!” PA looked up, hurt.

“I am sorry but she is right,” Onyema agreed. “Even the bible says the ways of men and women are mysterious.”

“Can we all agree that I am not under any spell? Please, banish that thought!” PA countered. “What you should do is to pray for me and trust that God will not allow me to make the wrong decision. Powerful men and women of God like you should have enough anointing combined to move any mountain.”

Mofe shrugged. “I see your mind is made up.”

PA was silent.

“We will not relent in praying for you.”

The meeting ended shortly after. Each of them knew that a line had been drawn in the sand and their relationships with each other would never be the same after that night. More than ever before, PA was convinced he was doing the right thing.

 

Narrow is the way that leads to salvation and few there be that find it. Lord, you have never led me down the popular path. I trust you. It was you who gave me this ministry. I cannot idolize your church. Should you choose to strip me, I will yet serve you. It was your son, Jesus who died for the world, not I. I cannot disobey you for fear of losing members. Please, give me the strength to stand.

 

Zina was working out along with Imaobong at the mini gym their serviced apartment complex provided for tenants when her phone rang. She answered shortly and then began to pack up her gear to leave.

“Was that PA?” Imaobong asked.

“Yes. He wants us to have breakfast together.”

Ima fiok! That guy is in love sha.” Imaobong chuckled.

“Ain’t I lucky?” Zina smiled.

“He is the lucky one.”

“Sometimes I wonder, though. I hope it is worth all the trouble.”

“What do you mean? If people are so offended that he chose you, let them leave. There are many churches in town.”

“Ima!”

Kpon! This thing has been annoying me. You owe no one an explanation for him choosing you. Imagine the shame and guilt you have carried for years. Let them rage. Baby, favour ain’t fair.”

Zina smiled as she left. Imaobong remained to complete her workout. Zina’s mind flashed back to the revelations PA had made on the day he heard her story.

 

PA (then known simply as Allen), grew up the 2nd son of a pastor and a school teacher for a mother. His older brother, Maxwell, had been the only son for years before he came along. They lost a daughter in infancy and never seemed to get over her death even after Allen was born.

Maxwell was an athletic, out-going, tall and good-looking straight ‘A’s student. He was the pride of their parents. The number of years between he and Allen prevented them from ever really being close but Allen idolized him. He wanted so much to get the kind of attention his brother got effortlessly. Rather, he was awkward, average in academics and in athletics.

To be fair, his parents did not put him down or anything. The favoritism was subtle but teenagers tend to be overly sensitive. Allen grew up under pressure as a pastor’s child. He had to put up a front before those who knew his parents so that their reputation would not be tainted. But that did not mean that he did not have the same temptations other boys his age had.

Maxwell would have been a mentor to him if he had a testimony of overcoming all these challenges but he did not. He was only a genius at covering his tracks. By the time he was in the university, he had two identities. At home, he was the perfect son. In school, he was a heartbreaker who went after the most aloof of girls only to dump them publicly.

He often regaled Allen with tales of his escapades when he came home on holidays.

“That babe that was forming for me because she won Miss Fine Face; I showed her pepper!”

“Hey I trust you!”

“She was the one begging by the time I finished with her.”

“How did you go about it?”

“I followed her about for two weeks, begging, writing poems. There is nothing I didn’t do. She got tired of me and gave in.”

“That was easier than the girl you had to do assignments for.”

“Don’t remind me of that dull girl. I wonder how she made it into the university. I have never met a more empty brain than hers.”

Allen laughed. “Maybe it was her bedroom skills that got her into your school.”

“It must be. Once in a while, I go for her when no catch is imminent.”

“I can’t wait to get into the University, I tell you.”

“You play your cards right, you can catch your fun and still graduate with a 2:1.”

“O boy!”

“You can say that again.”

 

 

Allen’s first girlfriend was Awele. She was in SS1 while he was in SS2. He had just been made the chapel prefect and was carrying out one of the duties assigned to all prefects; making late-comers kneel at the gate and give them portions of grass to cut before classes resumed. She flirted openly with him so much that he had to turn away to hide his blush. The next day, she wrote him a love letter. He ignored it at first but she way-laid him after school and offered him a sampling of her goods.

Subsequently, he began to ensure her exemption from capital punishments. The other prefects soon knew her as his girlfriend and all let her off when others were being punished. All this was carefully hidden from his parents, of course. They would probably have sworn by his virginity if anyone had asked. His mother was diabetic but rarely had need to be hospitalized. She was very busy, either with school work or assisting their father in church or going for medical check-ups.

They lived in a 3 bedroom flat rented by the Anglican Church his father pastored but they were never alone. Relatives, parishioners, friends and all who needed a place to lay their heads constantly flowed through their home. It was a lot of work cooking for all these people and resources were not exactly plentiful but his father believed no one in need should ever be turned away.

By the time he was in SS3, he had had three girlfriends. Maxwell was an able coach in matters of the heart and this resulted in him losing much of his awkwardness. Allen was no stud but, he knew how to choose the right girls using Maxwell’s philosophy.

It stated that “Every girl has a soft spot and all one needed was to be motivated enough to find it.”

Secondly, “Every girl will succumb to a persistent man even if she didn’t like him initially.”

“Girls who other guys avoid are easy prey because they secretly long for the one who will be bold enough to dare.”

These were statements he made so often that Allen had memorized them. He applied them in winning girls over so he could have stories to tell his brother when he came home. Maxwell was in his final year in the university, having initially spent two years doing his A-levels.

That term, Maxwell visited Allen in school for the first time. It wasn’t actually a social call. He had showed up to the house unexpected and everyone was in church for a prayer meeting. He knew that Allen would have a key because he would need to go home and change before going to church if he planned to join them.

“Who is that fine girl?” Maxwell asked as Allen walked him to the school gate.

Allen turned in the direction of the girl who had just walked past.

“I think her name is Omo. She must be in SS1 because I know all the SS2 girls very well,” he replied.

“Does she have a boyfriend?”

“I will have to find out. I don’t really know her.”

“Find out everything about her. This strike the lecturers are on will last more than 6 months. I need a diversion.”

“Done.”

So began the chase. Omo turned out to be a soft-spoken girl, one of the three daughters of a widow and the youngest of them all. She kept to herself most of the time. When she wasn’t studying, she was busy rehearsing with the choir where she was a lead soloist. She had a lovely voice, a beautiful face and fair skin. Her figure was just maturing but it was evident how striking she would be in a few years when she turned 18.

Omo was no match for the combined efforts of Maxwell and Allen. She fell in love with Maxwell. The affair was a big secret. Not even her sisters, with whom she was very close, knew of it. Maxwell convinced her that they would not approve because of their age-difference. He also warned her that her friends and classmates would be jealous of her for landing a guy who was almost a graduate and handsome to boot.

In truth, he knew his parents would raise hell if they caught wind of the relationship. Her mother would probably come for his head and even Allen would be under fire. They were very careful. Allen usually went to her house to call her. He had a friend who lived in their neighborhood so, he lied that he was visiting him while he sneaked to an opening in her fence at a pre-arranged time to tell her where to meet Maxwell.

They left no paper trail. Maxwell bought her gifts and gave her money but he advised her to hide them from her family so they would not become suspicious.

 

One day, Allen was summoned to the principal’s office by a junior student. He did not suspect anything was wrong. It was not unusual for a prefect to be called on by the principal. He was excused by the teacher taking the class before he put away his books and made his way to the principal’s office.

The sight that greeted him nearly made him run back to his class. Omo was huddled on the floor, weeping profusely. The school nurse was seated opposite the principal, glaring at her. The principal, Mr. Garrett, was standing over her, cane in hand. He greeted them after he recovered from the shock and stood as far from her as he could manage.

“Allen, do you know this girl?” Mr. Garrett asked.

“Sir?” he stammered.

“I asked if you know this girl, Omo.”

“I know she is in the choir…she sings in the choir, sir,” he stuttered.

“Is that all you know about her?”

“Sir, I don’t know any other thing about her,” he denied.

“Omo is pregnant,” the man stated.

“What!” Allen gasped, despite himself.

“Yes, she is,” the nurse confirmed.

“I can’t believe it,” Allen muttered.

“She came to my office complaining of a fever. I wonder how come her mother has not noticed it because she is far gone.”

Omo moaned loudly from the floor but was roundly ignored.

“I am not surprised. Mothers of these days are too busy to take care of their children,” the nurse spat.

“That is not the issue. She claims the father of her child is your brother, Maxwell,” Mr. Garrett went on.

“It’s a lie!” Allen shouted.

“You are the one who introduced me to him. You always came to my house to tell me where to meet him,” she accused, in tears.

“She is lying sir! I never did such a thing.”

“Are you saying you are not aware of the relationship between Maxwell and her?” Mr. Garrett asked.

“My brother is not even that kind of person. He cannot have anything to do with a small girl like her!” he protested.

“Why are you lying, Allen, why?” she cried.

“Shut up! You are the one who is lying. Instead of naming the person who got you pregnant, you want to implicate my brother,” he shouted.

“Why would she name you if you had nothing to do with all this?” the nurse asked.

“I don’t know O! I think she is just looking for a scapegoat.”

“Yes, but why you?”

“My brother is not here to defend himself. Maybe that is why she cooked up this story.”

“We are going to get to the bottom of this,” Mr. Garrett said, taking his seat dejectedly. “I have always boasted of the good morals of the students of this school. Even Maxwell is our ex-student. I am very disappointed at you, Omo. I will send for your mother. You too, Allen, your parents and Maxwell have to come in.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Return to your class.”

“Thank you, sir.”

Allen made his escape without another glance at Omo. He knew he was in serious trouble if he could not come up with a plan that would exonerate both he and Maxwell from Omo’s pregnancy. It was his final year and he had his SSCE coming up. Also, he was in danger of being suspended or even expelled if found guilty.

As for Omo, hers is over. How did she even get pregnant? I warned Maxwell that that girl is too naïve but he was blinded by love. See the problem she has brought on us?

*******************************************************************

 

PA had narrated this story while they sat in a somewhat quiet corner of the suya joint, their suya long forgotten. Zina could hear the pain and regret in his voice as he shared secrets that had tormented him for years. There was no sense of pride in his youthful exploits as some men are in the habit of displaying. He had only ever told his mentor, the founder of the school fellowship he pastored in the University and was advised by the man to keep it to himself forever.

“The day we fixed for a meeting with all the concerned parties dawned,” he continued. “Maxwell had been summoned from school. Omo and her mother were present. My parents and I were also there. We were seated in the principal’s office, waiting for the principal who had stepped out to attend to an urgent matter.”

“Her mother began to plead with us to accept the responsibility and spare her daughter the shame of being called a liar but we ignored her. I didn’t think that any of us should go down with her. She was already sure of being suspended. And after having the baby, here was no guarantee that she would be re-admitted. I reasoned that Maxwell and I did not have to let our futures get jeopardized as well. Add to that, my parents’ reputation as pastors. The church could decide to discipline them or transfer them to a remote village in order to prevent the scandal from ruining the name of God. I couldn’t take that chance.”

“I came up with a plan to save the day. Maxwell provided the money for us to pay all the actors. We got a student to act as a lookout. Timing was crucial.”

 

 

When Mr. Garrett came back in he apologized for his tardiness.

“Good morning all. I am sure you know why we are here as I have met with both families individually except for Maxwell. Maxwell, how are you?” he began.

“I am fine sir; just eager to get this behind me,” he replied.

“That’s okay. Pastor Ikpoki, you are welcome.”

Allen’s father replied as warmly as he could, given the circumstances.

“So, Omo, here,” He pointed at her bent figure in one of the chairs “… is pregnant and she says you, Maxwell, are the father of the baby.”

“That’s a lie, sir,” Maxwell said immediately.

“My daughter is not a liar,” her mother defended.

Allen glanced at the woman, still wearing the white two piece, wrapper and blouse some cultures made widows wear for a year after their husband’s death, and felt like laughing. She did not even know what was in store for her.

“Do you deny that you have ever had anything to do with her or just the baby?” Mr. Garrett asked.

“I don’t know her. I have never seen her. We are not in a relationship. I am not the father of her baby.” Maxwell said.

Omo kept her head down, biting her lip.

“What do you have to say, young lady?” Mr. Garrett addressed Omo.

“Why have you decided to pin your pregnancy on my son?” Allen’s mother asked arms akimbo.

“Your son is telling lies,” Omo’s mother spat.

“Did you ever see them together? How did they manage to keep their relationship a secret in this small town? What is the evidence that they were involved?” she retorted.

“I don’t understand it, myself,” Pastor Ikpoki murmured. “Maxwell has always been a good boy. Even if he wanted a girlfriend, why would he leave all the girls in the university for such a young girl?”

“He is a pervert, that’s why. That I am a widow does not mean I am defenseless. My God will judge all those who rise up against me.” Omo’s mother was crying by now, her chest heaving as she spoke.

“God will judge your daughter for wanting to destroy the future of my sons,” Allen’s mother countered. “She is the only one who knows who the true father of her child is.”

The principal was about to interrupt the tirade when a knock sounded at his door. He shouted “Come in” as all heads turned to see who was at the door. It was his secretary, a middle-aged man who had served him from the day he was appointed into the position of principal.

“Sir, one man has been insisting on seeing you. I told him you are in a meeting but he said he is supposed to be here.”

“What do you mean by ‘He is supposed to be here’?” Mr. Garrett asked but before he could get his answer, a man pushed past the principal and burst into the office, to the bewilderment of all who were gathered.

“Good morning, oga,” he greeted.

“Who are you?” Mr. Garrett gaped at the skinny man of about 45, dressed in worn out Ankara print trousers and top. His eyes were blood-shot like he had been drinking and his teeth were stained by tobacco.

My name na Yesterday and that pikin wey that girl carry na my own!” he said.

A collective gasp went up. Omo screamed and fell out of her chair in tears, muttering over and over, “I don’t know who he is. I don’t know who he is.”

Omo’s mother sprang up and pounced on the man. Grabbing him by the trousers, she began to rain abuses on him. It took the intervention of Mr. Garrett, his secretary, Pastor Ikpoki and a teacher who burst in to stop her. She stood in one corner of the room, huffing and puffing while the man continued with his story. Omo was crying loudly while Allen and Maxwell were silent, seemingly shocked by this turn of events.

She be my girlfriend. I be vulcanizer for Emotu road,” Yesterday explained. “My machine spoil so I go Lagos go borrow my brother money make I buy another one. As I come na him I hear say she wan carry my pikin give another man. That one no fit happen na. Money never dey but no be that one mean say she go deny me. I wan marry am.”

Maxwell let out a cry of derision and clapped his hands. “The truth is coming to light.

There was confusion in the office as Allen’s parents expressed their shock at the revelations and joy at their son’s acquittal while Omo continued to deny any knowledge of the man.

“You are a very wicked girl. Do you mean you are still denying everything?”Allen asked.

Maxwell snapped his fingers at her in the typical Nigerian expression of disgust and revulsion.

“How can you prove what you just said?” Mr. Garrett asked.

Prove ke? Na my girlfriend!” Yesterday protested.

“It’s a lie!” Omo cried.

Baby, no fear. No follow money leave me.”

Omo’s mother lunged at him but was restrained by the teacher. “You are very foolish for saying that. Is she your age mate? You should be ashamed.”

“Sir, I swear, I have never seen this man in my life. Mummy, believe me,” Omo cried.

“Me?” Yesterday seemed to have lost his temper. “You no get mark for breast, the left side, where hot water bin pour you when you dey small?”

Mr. Garrett looked askance at Omo’s mother. She stared at her daughter whose wailing had escalated, in disbelief.

“Omo?” she asked.

Allen’s mother rose and picked up her bag. “Pastor, let’s go. God has put my enemies to shame. Look at this loose girl and her mother, trying to pin a drunkard’s baby on my son.”

“Omo, what is this you have done to me?” her mother shouted, dropping to the floor in tears. “You know your father just died. Look at the shame you have brought on me.”

Pastor ikpoki had risen to his feet as well. “I think the matter is settled, Mr. Garrett. Please, counsel this girl to accept her lot and not to utter one more word against my sons or I will deal decisively with her mother and her.”

“I am sorry for the inconvenience, sir,” Mr. Garrett apologized.

“Kindly excuse my children and I.”

“Of course. My apologies again.”

“I have heard.”

The Ikpoki family made their way out of the principal’s office leaving behind a nonplussed Yesterday, a bewildered teacher, an angry mother, a confused Mr. Garrett and a weeping Omo. Outside, Mrs. Ikpoki hugged her sons in relief.

“The devil is a liar. See how God sent angels to bring this matter to an end without any further lies from that girl. My God is alive. He is faithful. He knows our hands are clean,” she rejoiced.

“This has to be God,” Pastor Ikpoki concurred.

Both boys made suitable sounds of agreement.

“You have to be careful, Maxwell,” his father warned. “If you see any girl you like, bring her home and we will go with you to see her parents. Don’t allow anyone to jeopardize your future.”

“Yes, sir,” he replied.

“As for you, Allen; face your books. What I need from you is 10 As like Maxwell had. You have been a prayerful child. Don’t disappoint me.”

“I will do my best, Dad,” Allen replied.

 

Zina was dumbfounded by the story PA had narrated. Her mouth actually hung open throughout his narration. She had never, in her life, imagined that a man as adored as PA for his pristine reputation could have such a secret hidden away.

“Who was the man, Yesterday?” she asked.

“He was a man we paid to get us off the hook and he executed it perfectly. In fact, he went a number of times to their house to disturb Omo and demand that they allow him to marry her.”

“Her mother must have been devastated.”

“She was but she could not bear the thought of her daughter marrying a man with no home, no income and no credibility. Besides, we heard Omo kept denying the man.”

“Of course she would!” Zina exclaimed.

“She was suspended from school and I heard she had a daughter prematurely.”

“Poor girl!”

PA sighed and dropped his head into his hands. “The whole town took our side. Her family had to relocate because the stigma became too much. People were calling them names, abusing her mother in the market, insulting her sisters. Of course, our church members were at the forefront. For all they knew, her family connived, unsuccessfully, to set up their pastor’s son. How I wish they knew!”

“Hei! PA! How did you not feel guilty?”

“I felt proud of myself. I had finally earned my brother’s respect, having saved us both from a nasty situation. He was forever in my debt. I had proven that he wasn’t that special, even though my parents still favored him, and I was now admitted into the ‘big boys’ gang.”

Zina wrung her hands in confusion. She was still trying to reconcile everything she had heard. People did not just admit their failures. It was a first for her and she did not know how to take it.

“I never heard anything about her till about two years later when I came to Lagos to visit an uncle. Maxwell had been in a motorcycle accident that left him in a bad fracture. He was bed-ridden. Eventually he died from an infection that set in from the wound.”

“That’s a pity.”

“My parents were heart-broken. He was their super star. My mother’s diabetes took a turn for worse. I had to postpone school to be there for them.”

Zina clucked her tongue in sympathy.

“I met a girl in my uncle’s house. She was his sales girl. He had a shop where he sold fabric. To my shock, she reacted like she saw a ghost when I told her my name. She started abusing me, calling me a liar and a murderer.”

“Wow!”

“Eventually, I found out that she was Omo’s sister. Omo nearly died in childbirth. She had post-partum depression, would not even look at the baby, was calling Maxwell’s name all the time.”

“That is terrible!”

“They eventually gave the baby away. I never found out who took the baby. They figured that she would snap out of it once she did not have to care for her but it never happened.”

“Have you tried to meet with the family and apologize?”

“After I got born again, I went to make restitution. I even offered to write a notice in the papers but they would have nothing to do with me. They refused to forgive me or allow me to see Omo. I hear she is a shadow of herself, living like a recluse, mumbling unintelligibly.”

PA’s voice broke as he burst into tears, not minding who could see him. “This is the torture of my life. I am responsible for that girl’s pain. I don’t deserve forgiveness.”

Zina held his hand while he wept. She began to remember the years she had spent struggling with guilt and shame and burst into tears as well. He was a kindred soul. Only one, who had carried the kind of load each of them had carried while trying to serve God, could understand what forgiveness meant.

Finally, they rose and made their way to his car. They sat in silence for a long time. PA had been forced to relive his nightmare, the cause of many sleepless nights, the subject of many prayers of repentance and many pleas for mercy.

“How do you go on? How do you get up and climb the stage and preach with such a burden?” Zina asked.

“At first, I was trying to make it up to God. Since her family has refused to allow me apologize to her, I felt that I could atone for my sins by serving God. Every day, I confessed my sins. Every day, I re-dedicated my life to Christ. I went for deliverance so many times that they knew my name.”

“I did the same,” Zina said.

“One day, I went back to Omo’s sister to beg her to give me access to Omo. She cursed me that I would never have a home of my own.”

“What?” Zina cried. “My God!”

“I decided to remain a bachelor for the rest of my life. That way, I would not rope another woman into my curse. Secondly, the curse could not come to pass if I did not propose to any woman,” he said.

“This is unbelievable. You told everyone you had the gift of singleness while you were afraid of a curse?”

“I did have the gift because it was not a struggle being single. I rarely battled lustful thoughts or felt lonely. My solitude gave me more time to serve God.”

“What changed?”

PA heaved a sigh. “Zina, I had a divine encounter.”

“Oh!”

“No, I really did. One day, I was lying in bed, writing in my journal when I felt as if Jesus walked into my room. He said to me “Why are you crucifying me over and over again?” I was paralyzed. I began to weep. I apologized and asked him to show me how I offended him.”

Zina’s eyes were wide open with shock.

“He said, I was paying for a sin he had already paid for.”

Zina felt tears roll down her cheeks as he grasped her hand in earnest.

“As long as I refused to marry, I was invalidating his death and resurrection and proclaiming a curse which had no effect on my life. Now, I am free of the guilt. I no longer feel I have to do anything to earn God’s forgiveness. Should Omo’s family demand a public apology, I will do it but that is not what will determine how God feels about me.”

“Know this. There is no small sin. All have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. Repentance means turning away but if we deny ourselves God’s blessings, we are not doing him any favors.”

“PA pray for me. I want to feel forgiven. I want the shame to lift.”

“Let’s pray for each other, my love.”

 

The End

 

 

 

Thank you everyone for reading to the end and for all your kind comments.

I hope you enjoyed the ride.

I will be on a hiatus. kindly subscribe so you will be alerted of new posts.

You can send me an email on drnsmusings@yahoo.com

Follow me on twitter @nenabekee

And do watch out for my children’s book…”Adaeze the true princess”. Details soon.

God bless you

Remember to walk in love and live worthy of the sacrifice of Jesus on the cross.

Cheers, Dr.N

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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The Woman I Deserve 23

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Happy young businessman using digital tablet --- Image by © Sonja Pacho/Corbis
Happy young businessman using digital tablet — Image by © Sonja Pacho/Corbis

 

Chapter 9

Zina was in her room, reminiscing over her date with PA. Once again her courage had failed her. She could not bear the thought of his derision. He seemed to hold her in such high esteem; writing poetry, buying her gifts, calling often. This one had to be the real deal. Her 2 exes had not bothered with all that. Ike had fleeced her of as much cash as he could before he took off. Reason: “My mother will not accept a single mom.” Of course he failed to mention that while the relationship lasted.

Lekan had told her from the time he met her son, Peter, that she would have to keep him away from their home if they ever got married. She hung on, believing he would come around. Already, Peter lived with her mother and never constituted a nuisance in any way but that was not enough. The relationship ended in 3 months.

Obas was the most vitriolic. He mocked her for refusing him sex. “You be virgin?” he would ask and laugh derisively. “That your chinko pikin, how you take born am? Virgin Mary!”

She would storm out in anger but he always apologized and pleaded till she took him back. Her mother detested him but even she encouraged her not to walk away.

E get money. Husband no dey. Manage the one wey you see,” her mom would say.

She dreaded marriage to him. He was verbally abusive, quick-tempered, uncouth and brash. How such a good-looking man could have a character that contrasted so much with his looks beat her imagination.

If you bin give am wetin him dey find, he for no run leave you,” her mom opined when he dumped her.

She was relieved. Being single had to be better than living in terror forever. However, she put up a sad appearance and let people console her over the public embarrassment. Secretly, she thanked God for delivering her.

Picking her phone, she composed an email to PA, telling him of her son and enclosing a photo. She saved it under drafts and heaved a sigh of relief. All she needed now was the courage to hit the send button. Let the chips fall where they may.

Besides, God may have sent Esosa to give me the assurance that I will not end up alone. He has not relented despite my lack-lustre responses. What I am sure of is that he is less likely to judge me for being a single mom and Peter will gain 2 sisters. What’s not to like?

PA on the other hand is a young pastor who could have any girl at a snap of his fingers. As selfish as I am, I know he is in love with the image of me that I have allowed him to see: A successful girl with no encumbrances who loves God as much as he does. When the veil is lifted and he sees me for who I really am, he will cast me off. It may be too late then to go for Esosa. He might have met someone else or something. What is the wise thing to do?

 

 

PA was on his way to his car after a pastors’ conference. His junior pastors, Odion and Kunle had hitched a ride with him so they were all making their way out when Pastor Onyema hailed them.

“PA, what’s the hurry?” he shouted.

They stopped and waited for him to catch up with them. After exchanging hearty greetings, PA explained that they had to leave so quickly because Pastor Kunle was trying to catch up with an event at his son’s school.

“Let my driver drop him off. Come back in so we can catch up,” he offered.

Odion and PA shrugged and turned back. Kunle started looking for Onyema’s driver so as to take advantage of his offer.

Back in the conference room, all the participants were huddled in groups of 3 and more, discussing loudly over snacks and drinks. Pastor Onyema ushered them to seats and waved over his assistant pastors, Kele and Ade. A server placed refreshments before them. Soon, Pastor Mofe joined them.

Inevitably, PA became the topic of friendly teasing as all the others were married.

“PA, what happened between you and Toyosi?” Onyema asked.

“Nothing,” he replied.

“You mean you didn’t like her?” he pressed.

PA shook his head.

“Why?” Pastor Mofe asked.

PA shrugged but refrained from explaining.

“I can’t force you to marry the girl but you didn’t handle it well,” Pastor Onyema opined.

His audience waited for him to go on while he took a long drink from his glass of juice.

“You should have told me you were not interested in the girl so I could soften the blow. If for no other reason, because I introduced her to you,” he concluded.

PA was quiet.

“Did she complain to you?” Pastor Mofe asked.

“Nna…she said my wife and I set her up for heartbreak when we knew very well PA is a heartbreaker!” Pastor Onyema replied.

The pastors in the gathering all reacted in shock; some gulping their drinks hurriedly and others averting their gazes from PA.

“When did PA become a heartbreaker?” Pastor Mofe asked.

PA made a face but kept his thoughts to himself.

“Don’t you have anything to say?” Pastor Onyema asked him.

“We have known each other for too long for you to be calling me out. Why didn’t you call me to discuss this on phone or even come to my office?” PA asked. He leaned forward, his hands on his knees. “Did you even vet that girl before recommending her? Or you pitied her because she is your editor?”

“What do you mean?” Pastor Onyema asked.

“I asked you if you had any recommendations. Rather than discuss with me first, you got to the girl and filled her head with hope. Then you totally ambushed me. PO, don’t let me get started. Heartbreaker indeed!”

None of them had ever seen PA lose his temper. Pastor Onyema immediately apologized.

“I didn’t mean to call you out.”

“PA, don’t be offended. He was only looking out for a friend,” Mofe pleaded.

The junior pastors exchanged uncomfortable looks among themselves. They could neither contribute to the conversation nor get up to leave simply because, they were sure that they would end up taking the heat. Something about the grass and elephants fighting came to mind.

“I never asked her out. She should know better than to insinuate otherwise. In fact, we were never alone,” PA continued testily.

“It’s okay. I believe you. I will warn her to cease and desist,” Pastor Onyema said.

“She had better. My babe won’t even take it lying low,” PA said, straight-faced.

I si gini? Your babe?” Pastor Onyema exclaimed.

“I was going to tell you about her before you started throwing wild accusations.”

“PA, why have you not told us before now? Who is she by the way,” Pastor Mofe asked.

“Her name is Zina. She joined our church this year.”

Kai! You like fresh fish sha! So all those sisters who have been serving in church for years skipped your notice?” Pastor Odion teased.

“The Lord they have been serving will reward them,” he replied.

The men burst into laughter.

“Congrats sir,” one of Pastor Onyema’s associates said.

The rest joined in hailing PA, coming over to shake his hand one at a time. He accepted their praise just as amiably as he had accepted their ribbing in the past.

“Why did I not hear of this girl before now?” Pastor Odion whispered to PA.

He only shrugged in reply. Odion punched his shoulder playfully, determined to press for more details at a later date.

“So tell us more,” Pastor Mofe requested.

“Her name is Zina. We have been friends for more than 2 months now. She is the MD of an IT firm. We met when she came to install some software for Ovie.”

“It sounds like she has a good head on her shoulders,” Pastor Odion said, nodding.

“She does and I appreciate all your prayers, guys. This is a step I am taking with serious consideration, knowing the possible backlash if something goes wrong,” he said.

“True. You can’t afford to make any mistake after waiting all these years. Can you imagine the number of women who would wish to be in her shoes?” Pastor Onyema concurred.

“There is a man for every woman. I don’t know why anyone would fixate on me,” he said brushing off the compliment.

“Ha! You are too modest, PA,” Pastor Mofe scoffed.

“Do you know how many emails Ovie has intercepted on your behalf? You need to read some of them. He once showed me an email of a girl who saw a vision of you and her getting married,” Pastor Odion said.

“Back to sender!” one of the junior pastors spat.

PA made no comment.

“PO, do you know that PA has had to put serious security checks on his phone number?” Pastor Odion elaborated.

“Just marry the girl quickly so they can leave you alone,” another said.

“It’s not that straightforward. You have to make sure she has no baggage. She cannot be someone you ‘settled’ for. Investigate thoroughly and make sure there are no skeletons in her cupboard. This is the kind of issue that destroyed Pastor Umoh’s church,” Pastor Mofe warned.

“Pastor Umoh?” PA asked.

“Pastor Umoh of Christian Assembly Uyo.”

“Oh! I never really understood what happened,” PA said.

“Two years after his wedding, he found out that the girl was separated from her 1st husband, not even divorced. Meanwhile he had no idea she was in a relationship at the time. He had dated 2 girls in church before he met the one he married and she totally swept him off his feet. The rumor mongers spread the false story that he was the one who broke her 1st marriage. He is yet to recover from the scandal,” Pastor Mofe elaborated.

Tufia kwa!” Pastor Onyema spat.

“May God not allow us to plant for another man to come and reap,” one of the junior pastors said.

“Amen!” they chorused.

PA was silent, deep in thought. The topic changed to something else but he could not get the nagging doubts out of his mind. He had noticed Zina’s occasional moodiness and even reticence but when he asked her, she denied that anything was wrong. They had known each other long enough for her to tell him what was her initial reason for hesitating about going on a date with him. He had refrained from plaguing her with questions because he hoped she would see that he loved her too much to condemn her for whatever mistakes she had made in the past. Now, he began to wonder if he had dived into the deep end of the pool too soon.

 

*******************************************************************

 

Imaobong and Zina were on their way home after attending the bridal shower of a mutual friend, Dana. She was a big customer of Imaobong’s and had gradually become a friend. They had left the twins with their Nanny and their dad who was home after being away for quite a while.

“Yours is next Zina. I already have so many ideas buzzing in my head.” Imaobong was bubbling with excitement.

Zina made no comment.

“PA will not waste time in proposing. I trust him. He knows that you are a great catch.”

Imaobong heard a sniff and turned to look at her friend. She noticed she was crying.

“What is it? Are you ill?” she asked, worried.

Zina burst into tears.

“Ah ah! What is wrong?” she asked again.

Imaobong managed to pull into the parking lot of a shop close to their home and parked. She turned in her seat so she could wrap her friend in a hug.

“Tell me what is going on. Did PA say something bad? Are you pregnant? Did someone die?”

Zina shook her head in response to each question.

Imaobong rubbed her back till she stopped crying. Zina raised her head and blew her nose noisily into her handkerchief.

“I have a 12 year old son,” she announced.

Abasi mbok!” Imaobong exclaimed. “How?”

Zina was silent, rubbing her nose. Imaobong released her and sat back, arms folded over her breasts.

“I’m guessing PA does not know?”

Zina shook her head.

“Who is the boy’s father? Are you married to him?”

“No. His name is Lee. He is Korean.”

“Eh!” Imaobong could not help herself.

“I have not heard from him since he left Nigeria 5 years ago.”

Imaobong clucked her tongue sympathetically. “This is not good. You should have told me earlier.”

“I was afraid. So many men have walked away because of him.”

“You can’t blame them. He is not even black, to hope to integrate him into a new family. A step dad would have to be comfortable with having a child who looks nothing like he and his ancestors,” Imaobong said.

Zina heaved a sigh.

“But it is not the end of the world. Call PA now and tell him. He can’t hear it from anyone else.”

“What will he say?”

“The worst is that he will walk away. I hope he won’t but at least, the burden of not knowing will be off your shoulders.”

“I love him.”

“I know.”

“I don’t want to lose him.”

“I can’t guarantee that but I can promise to be there for you.”

She reached over and enveloped her friend in a bear hug. Both their tears flowed freely. They were oblivious of the fact that they were in a public place. What mattered was the healing and bonding that unconditional friendship offered. And they were eager to take advantage of it.

 

*******************************************************************

Ama was in PA’s house to deliver some gifts that had been dropped off for him in church. She could have let his driver pick them up since he left early with Ovie for his band rehearsal but she was on a mission. It was not her 1st time in his house but her visits were rare. He liked his privacy and they spent so much time together during the day that she scarcely needed to see him afterwards.

Ovie welcomed her and summoned Saviour to collect the items.

“Is PA asleep?” she asked.

“No. Do you want to see him?”

They were standing in the foyer of the house.

“Yes. Please tell him to give me a few minutes.”

“Come in then.”

She followed him to the living room and took a seat on one of the sofas, dropping her bag beside her. Ovie turned on the air conditioning and the television before dropping the remote controls on the table before her.

“Do you want something to drink?” he asked.

She shook her head.

“Let me call him.”

She watched him leave. Her stomach felt queasy at the revelations Toyosi had called her to make. To quell her doubts, she had even provided pictures as evidence of the veracity of her claims. Ama wondered how she got the pictures but she wasn’t saying. Toyosi claimed she was no longer interested in PA and anyone could have him but that she wanted him to see who he had rejected her for. That was enough revenge for her.

PA greeted Ama as he entered the room. She rose and hugged him.

“What’s up?” he asked, sinking into the sofa opposite her.

She took in his youthful appearance in joggers and a T-shirt and regretted that she was about to shatter an illusion that had made him so happy. Even she could not dismiss the spring in his step and the extra attention he paid to his looks these days. He had to be in love. But the church came first and Zina did not meet the criteria for a pastor’s wife. Well, maybe some unserious pastor with 30 members but certainly not a renowned pastor, not her PA.

 ************************************************************************************************************

 

Thanks for hanging on till the end muses. I have been blessed by your kind comments. The conclusion comes up in a week. After that I will go on a break to recoup. Feel free to browse old posts if you are bored or send in something for me to post. Reach me at drnsmusings@yahoo.com

Cheers, Dr. N.