Our Exes Are Getting Married

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Hello muses! This story is from my collection of conversation as prose. Remember to leave a comment, share, like and enjoy! Cheers,

Dr.N.

 

 

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Hannatu: Hello. Good evening.

Amaza: Hello.

Hannatu: My name is Hannatu.

Amaza: Okay.

Hannatu: I know you are wondering how I got your number but what I have to tell you will justify how I got your number.

Amaza: I’m listening

Hannatu: Our exes are getting married.

Amaza: Huh?

Hannatu: I have it on good authority that you dated Binta for 6 years.

Amaza: ***

Hannatu: I heard you both were an item and everyone thought you would get married.

Amaza: ***

Hannatu: I also heard you have never told anyone why you guys broke up but I know what happened.

Amaza: Who gave you my number?

Hannatu: That is irrelevant. What I want to know is whether you are going to let her waltz into the sunset with my ex-boyfriend after all she did to you.

Amaza: I’m over her.

Hannatu: That’s what you tell yourself but you are not and I have proof.

Amaza: ***

Hannatu: You have remained single for the 2 years since you broke up. Also you have not as much as gone on 1 date though your friends have tried to set you up on many occasions.

Your family tried to match make you with Senator Adima’s daughter but you flared up angrily.

Finally your social media pages are full of posts about heart-break and not trusting anybody.

Need I say more?

Amaza: Have we met?

Hannatu: No.

Amaza: How did you get all this information?

Hannatu: I do my research.

Amaza: Who is Binta marrying?

Hannatu: My ex-boyfriend. His name is Seun. He is a real estate agent…that’s how they met and that’s why I know what she did to you.

Amaza: Really?

Hannatu: Yes.

Have you heard the saying ‘Beware of the one your boyfriend says you shouldn’t worry about’?

Amaza: Yeah

Hannatu: He told me about a client who confided in him about how she hurt her ex and how she felt bad about it. I remember us shaking our heads. Three months later he tells me he is no longer interested in me. He asks me to move on because he has.

Amaza: Haba!

Hannatu: Move on? Is that how people move on?

He was my first.

He promised to love me forever.

I stole from my parents to help him set up his business. He said we would get married once he made enough money but the money was never enough.

Amaza: I’m so sorry.

Hannatu: I hate him!

He can’t treat me like trash and get away with it. No!

Amaza: Is he really getting away with it? Binta is a snake.

Hannatu: ***

Amaza: I don’t know what she told your ex but she couldn’t have given him the full story.

Hannatu: Didn’t she cheat on you?

Amaza: She did?

Hannatu: Didn’t she lie that she was going to study in UAE when she was living with her father’s friend in Abuja?

Amaza: True.

Hannatu: Also, I know she aborted a baby you begged her to keep and lied that she had a miscarriage.

Amaza: Hmm…

Hannatu: I ask again. Are you going to fold your hands and watch her have a society wedding that will be broadcast on social media? I can’t watch that happen!

Amaza: What did you have in mind?

Hannatu: Now you’re talking. You’re beginning to see things from my perspective.

People keep waiting for Karma but I chose to be Seun’s karma.

Amaza: I see.

Hannatu: I hear she is something of a freak and has no boundaries when it comes to sex.

Amaza: ***

Hannatu: Do you happen to have her nudes or a sex video perhaps?

We can blur your face but I know releasing it will destroy their wedding plans.

Seun may be forgiving but his parents are very conservative and he is a mummy’s boy. There’s no way he will go against their wishes.

Amaza: I do have a sex video of us both.

Hannatu: Now you’re talking!

Amaza: I even have something better. Years ago, someone tried to blackmail her with a video of her in a compromising position with a governor. I bought it off him. She thinks I destroyed it.

Hannatu: This is wonderful!

That is what I call 2 for the price of 1!

So how do we do this?

Amaza: ***

Hannatu: Amaza?

Amaza: Hannatu…I have planned 1000 ways to get back at Binta over the years but now I realize I am the one who should have walked away.

Hannatu: What does that mean?

I hear you met as teenagers. She took your love for granted!

Amaza: She did.

But I should not have told her it was okay to do that.

Love also means self-respect.

Hannatu: What are you saying?

Amaza: For years I plotted my revenge. I wanted to hurt her though I maintained a nonchalant attitude.

Hannatu: ***

Amaza: But leaking that video will not cure me of HIV!

Hannatu: HIV?

Amaza: Yes.

I got my results today. I am HIV-positive.

Hannatu: What!

Amaza: I was faithful to Binta and since we broke up I have remained celibate.

It was persistent fever that forced me to go to the hospital. They confirmed my fears.

Hannatu: Haba!

Amaza: I have bigger problems at hand than her wedding as you can see.

First I intend to let her know so she and Seun can get tested.

You should also get tested if he was cheating on her with you.

After that I will focus on my health and lifestyle. I know I can beat this!

Hannatu: HIV as in HIV AIDS?

Amaza: Yes.

Hannatu: Gaskia…Seun has finished me!

 

 

The End

 

 

 

 

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Phone Thief

Posted on

Hello muses.

Today I have a story also from my collection of conversations as prose. Do enjoy.

Cheers,

Dr. N

 

 

Rukewe: Hello?

Can’t you speak?

I am on my knees, please.

I need my phone back.

The information in its memory is my whole life.

Axe: ***

Rukewe: You’re just breathing on the phone.

Say something.

What is your name?

Axe: My name na Axe.

Rukewe: You sound very young.

You can’t be more than twelve.

How old are you?

Axe: Me I no know my age.

Rukewe: So why did you steal my phone?

How come you are a thief at this young age?

Axe: Na Sheltox collect your phone.

My work na to make sure say you no look when them wan put hand for your bag.

Rukewe: Oh!

Axe: Yes ke.

Rukewe: Tell me how you did it.

Axe: You know say na wedding.

Everybody dey rush to enter car outside.

I carry groundnut like say I wan sell am.

Bosco put leg make I fall.

As the groundnut scatter, everybody dey shout: “Eyah…Eyah…”

Na that time Sheltox dem begin collect wetin dey people bag, pocket. Car sef join.

Rukewe: You boys are terrible!

Axe: Thank you Ma!

Rukewe: So how come you have my phone?

Axe: Na my share be that.

Plus the chain wey Bosco obtain for Yaba last night and N3000

Rukewe: Just imagine!

Axe: ***

Rukewe: I called because I want my phone back.

How much will it cost?

Axe: Cost?

Na small money O!

Rukewe: How much?

Axe: N30000

Rukewe: What?

Have you seen N30k before?

Axe: Aunty no vex. Make I off the phone go sell.

Rukewe: No…no…no

Let’s talk

I know you are not the architect of your undesirable upbringing.

Axe: Eh?

Rukewe: I mean …it is not your fault that you are in with these hooligans.

Wait…where are your parents?

Why did you end up in a gang?

Axe: Them pursue my mama for house when she carry belle. She born me for street. Na under trailer we live. As I become man I gas hustle. All man for himself!

Rukewe: Pity…

Axe: Aunty, I like you.

Pay N20k

Rukewe: I’ll pay N10k

And that is my final offer.

Axe: Aunty-y-y-y-y!

If I sell am for street e go pass N10k na

Rukewe: The screen is cracked and it is an Iphone 6.

Nobody will pay you N10!

Axe: Hmm

Rukewe: Okay

N15K last price.

 

Axe: Na because I like you.

Your voice dey like my mama own.

How we wan do am?

 

Rukewe: Tell me where to meet you.

I’ll bring the money.

You bring the phone.

 

 

Scene 2

 

 

Ruekewe: Axe where are you?

I am standing by the street lamp to the left of the fast food joint.

Axe: Na you wear black?

Rukewe: Yes.

Axe: I dey come.

 

Scene 2

 

Donny: Mumsie

Mumsie: Donny my baby

Donny: Mumsie

There is a big problem

Mumsie: What’s wrong?

Donny: Rukewe has been kidnapped.

Mumsie: What!

How?

When?

Why?

I don’t understand…

Donny: They stole her phone yesterday at a wedding…

Mumsie: Ehe…

Donny: She called the number. Someone answered and agreed to return the phone if she paid N15k.

Mumsie: Go on…

Donny: We were standing where the guy said he would meet us; an open spot.

Before we could say ‘Jack’, a black corolla screeched to a halt.

Three huge guys in masks forced her into the car and sped off!

Mumsie: And you let them take your sister?

Donny: I tried to fight but they hit my head with a rod.

I am on my way to the hospital right now.

Mumsie: Hei! What sort of problem is this?

Sorry my baby.

I hope it is not too deep. Who is there with you? Should you even be talking?

Donny: It’s just a small cut. I’ll be fine.

Mumsie: Ha!

What is all this? Who did I offend?

Donny: Calm down Mumsie.

I called you so you will expect their call; in case they call to ask for ransom.

Mumsie: Ransom? Don’t they know I am a widow? Do they want to send me to join your dad?

Donny: Don’t say that Mumsie, please.

You are not going anywhere.

I want to call Uncle Isionye so that he can help us do the police runs since I need medical attention.

Mumsie: Send me the address of the hospital.

I am on my way to Lagos.

Donny: You don’t need to bother…

Mumsie: No! I am coming. Send it now!

 

Scene 3

 

Axe: Aunty Rukewe good evening.

Rukewe: Who is your aunt?

You deceived me into thinking you are a child with your tiny voice when you are the gang leader.

And to think I felt sorry for you.

Axe: Hahaha!

Rukewe: You are very wicked.

Axe: But we treated you well.

Has anyone harmed you?

Rukewe: ***

Axe: Anyway, your people have paid.

Count yourself lucky.

My boys were getting restless; 3 days with a fine girl is a lot of temptation.

Rukewe: ***

Axe: Stand up

We are going to drop you where your people can pick you up.

Rukewe: Ouch!

Please be careful how you tie that rope.

Axe: Sorry Aunty

Rukewe: May God have mercy on you.

Axe: Amen!

Let’s go.

Rukewe: Please slow down.

Axe: Sorry Aunty!

I’m sorry you’ve had to be blindfolded for 3 days.

Na condition make crayfish bend.

Rukewe: I hope you get out of this life before you come to harm Axe!

Axe: I hope so too Aunty Rukewe; I hope so.

 

The End

 

 

 

 

 

Jellof Rice

Posted on Updated on

Hello, muses. Thanks for hanging in there. So I have been away because I am working on 2 children’s storybooks due for publishing this year. Y’all know children are the future, right? Great! Now you see why I made them a priority. To feed the adults however, I will put up every week, a story from a collection I did for TNC. They have an app that publishes stories in conversation blocks. These are the ones I reserved for my people (don’t say I never do anything for you. Lol). Please read, comment and share.

Cheers,

Dr. N.

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Ben: Hi

Good afternoon.

 

Tamara: Hi.

I’m not sure who this is…

Ben: My name is Ben

We met yesterday at Ini’s wedding.

Tamara: Ini’s wedding?

Ben: I am the guy you shunned.

Tamara: Shunned?

Haba!

Ben: Yeah…

I came to your table to say hi to Obot and then turned to chat with you.

You gave me the cold shoulder.

Tamara: I honestly can’t remember.

Ben: As a fine geh na!

I can’t imagine how many guys must have tried to chat you up.

Tamara: Who gave you my number?

Ben: If I tell you I’ld have to kill you.

Tamara: I’ll have to end this conversation.

Ben: No please.

I apologize

Please give me a minute

You see…

You misunderstood my intent yesterday

Tamara: Uhuh…

You don’t intend to promise me the world and lose interest once I let down my guard?

Ben: My goodness no…

Tamara: You don’t intend to fill my head with nonsense…

Ben: Hang on. This is going wrong.

Tamara: ***

Ben: I heard you are new in the area.

I just wanted to invite you to my church.

My pastor said anybody who brings a soul to church will get a plate of jellof rice and chicken after service.

You know what that means to a bachelor.

 

Tamara: What!

Ben: And you rebuffed me…

I had to watch others eating their rice with gusto.

You needed to see me salivating.

Tamara: Lol

You must be funny.

Ben: My friend Tolu actually brought two people from work.

He got two plates of rice and instead of sharing he packaged the 2nd one for his dinner.

Can you believe what he said; “A laborer is worthy of his wages!”

Tamara: ROTFL

Ben: So what are you doing next Sunday?

Tamara: Bros…

Are you too broke to buy yourself food?

Ben: You don’t understand.

That rice is anointed.

I can cook but that jellof is on another level.

You need to taste it.

You will don that green apron a certain church (which shall remain unnamed) wears for evangelism.

Tamara: lol

Ben: So what’s it gonna be?

Tamara: ***

Ben: Please

You’ll have a great time.

The music, the message and fellowship are awesome.

The rice is just jara.

Tamara: Hmmm…Do I get a plate as well?

Ben: What are you talking about?

You get the lion share!

Tamara: Okay!

Text me the directions.

I’ll be there.

Ben: Yay!

Thanks a bunch.

You rock!

Tamara: What’s the name of the church?

Ben: It’s called Ben-saw-Tamara-at-a-wedding-and-will-do-anything-to-get-her-to-go-on-a-date Christian Assembly.

Tamara: What!

No way!

Lol

Ben: Don’t bail on me. I hear your word is your bond.

Tamara: ***

Ben: We good?

Tamara: Well-played man…well-played!

 

Ben: Please…I promise to be good.

Tamara: We’re good Ben. Lol. See you on Sunday.

 

The End

 

@nenabekee

WHEN MANNA STOPPED FALLING

Posted on

 

 

Hello Muses,

I have been away for longer than I planned I know so instead of an apology I decided to write a short story just to say I love you and thanks for checking in on me.

Enjoy.

 

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The rain was not the reason for Nwakaego’s bad mood. She couldn’t blame it on the thunder and lightning. She liked neither but she had tolerated them for years. They were an inevitable part of living in Nigeria; known for high rainfall and unexpected weather changes. What she could not tolerate any longer was being broke constantly.

“I don’t understand,” she said to Bolanle. “I am a giver, I have served as a church worker for years, I have a great job and I try to live on a budget. Why am I always broke?”

“If you find the answer Ego let me know,” Bolanle replied. “The worst thing is this life of celibacy is not helping matters. How can you expect a guy you are not giving ‘honey’ to keep sending you money?”

“My dear it is not even safe. I want my dignity intact.”

“I agree.”

“What then do we do about this ‘brokeness’? If we can’t get a grip while single what will happen to us when we get married?”

Ore…won’t the brother deliver us from hunger?”

“That is true. At least no one will say we are gold diggers. By then we don marry the guy. All our debt is his and all our liabilities as well.”

Both friends laughed. The sour mood was dispelled.

“When they will be chanting ‘all I have I give to you’ their assumption will be all their love.” Ego laughed and slapped her thigh.

“Money is a love language my dear.”

“I tell you!”

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Ego was on her way to the gate of the estate they lived in. She and Bolanle usually hitched a ride to work with a colleague who drove a blue Toyota sienna she had inherited from her late parents. Veno was the out-spoken, vivacious and adventurous one of the group. They were staff of Debonair Printing Services where Ego was a graphic artist, Bolanle an accountant and Veno a member of the sales team. Ego and Bolanle who had been friends from the university shared a one bed room flat while Veno lived a street away.

She took out her phone to call Bolanle who was still at home.

“Are you not done? She will soon be here.”

“If she gets there, please delay her. I had to do the number 2.”

“That’s just nasty!”

Shuo…are you not the one that cooked beans last night? Fi mi le jare!”

“Who begged you to eat? You should have eaten bread. Please make it snappy.”

She ended the call and began to scroll through her instagram page. The picture she put up the night before was getting a lot of likes. Her face beamed in delight.

“Madam good morning O!” one of the security men hailed. “Na you we know O! Remember your boys never chop.”

“Good morning. God bless you.” She deftly ignored his plea for money. It was a game they played every morning and had become somewhat of a ritual.

Aunty na you wey God wan use bless me na.”

“I know. As He blesses me I will also bless you. The thing is that you don’t wait for him to bless me first. You want me to manufacture the thing from nowhere.”

No be from nowhere. Na from that your fine bag. As e big so…I know say better go dey.”

Ego laughed despite herself. “Boniface, you need to try your hand at stand-up comedy. You crack me up!”

Crack ke? Abeg O! Make my fine aunty no crack. Just dey fine as you fine so.”

Ego shook her head and moved a distance away when he got distracted trying to open the gate for another tenant. She waved at the driver absent-minded as her thoughts were on his last statement. Her chocolate brown complexion, oval face and pointed nose may well qualify her to be called pretty but she wished she had Bolanle’s hour glass figure or Veno’s fair skin. She had never liked her figure because she was top heavy. Though she wore clothes that de-emphasized it, it often made her self-conscious.

Just as Veno pulled up, Bolanle showed up at the gate panting with the effort of walking so fast. They exchanged pleasantries and piled in, a mass of handbags, laptop bags, lunch bags and make up bags. They even had a bag for chargers, slippers and other odds and ends. As Veno had once commented, their bags were so many they could fool robbers into thinking they were transporting cash.

Na die be that O!” she had said. “Because if them search us see say money no dey and the laptop sef na old model dem go just waste us.”

“God forbid!” Bolanle had said.

“We are under the blood biko!”

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“Why have we not been able to get Veno to join our church sef? Each time we go to church by bus I wonder if my Christianity is effective at all?” Bolanle was applying her make up in the ladies room.

Ego washed her hands before replying. “Your concern is not for her soul but for the convenience of rides in her car. Sister… attitude check needed.”

“God forgive me.” She leaned forward to check her teeth. “But Ego, how can we win her to Christ when it looks like she is doing better than we are?”

“How is she better than us?” Ego frowned.

“I didn’t say she is better than us but be honest, doesn’t it grate at you that she has a car, makes more money because of sales commissions, has a boo who buys her great stuff and still gets money from sugar daddies about town?”

Ego sighed and crossed her arms. “Last month I had to borrow money from her to buy aso ebi for Oga Ben’s daughter’s wedding. She didn’t say anything but the look she gave me was very loud.”

“See what I was saying? I haven’t paid for that aso ebi O! I am planning to lie that I have a family event on the same day. My debt is getting out of hand.” Bolanle shrugged.

“How much is it?”

“I am afraid to even say it. The vow I made for the orphan project in church cleaned me out last month. I am seriously broke.”

“This is getting out of hand!”Ego cried. “I thought that as we sow into the word of God, he will send people to bless us. All these testimonies of strangers giving people money, getting jobs you never applied for, winning lotteries and so on, are they lies? My own miracle is taking too long.”

“I don’t know what to believe any more. Give…I gave; Sow…I did; Work…I am working…Confess positively…I have been shouting ‘money come’ every day. The thing tire me!”

“Maybe God is testing us?” Ego wondered.

“When will this test end? I can’t remember a time I wasn’t broke and I have been a Christian for 10 years.”

“You sure say we no go dodge church today? That guest pastor that is coming is it not money he is coming to raise?”

“Abi? Let us go home and watch TV. God understands abeg.”

With that, they packed their make-up bags and made for the door.

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Una no dey go church today?” Veno asked as she spotted the pair at the parking lot.

“Maybe some other day: I’m tired.” Ego yawned and stretched to convince her.

“I have work to do at home,” Bolanle added.

Veno snorted. “Una sure say Pastor no go vex? Anyway, I have a date so boo is picking me up. I just came to get my change of clothes.”

“Your guy is nice. He seems to have a lot of time for dates; I mean it’s Wednesday night,” Bolanle remarked.

“He has to be sharp before someone else swoops in!” Veno laughed as she lifted a bag from the back seat. “Do you ladies want to take my car to church? I will be spending the night at his. I can always pick it up tomorrow.”

They shared a glance before chorusing. “Yes of course!”

“Great! Please pray for me to have favor. I intend to ask him for my rent.”

“You will be favored in Jesus name,” Ego prayed.

“He will even double it!” Bolanle added.

“Amen!” Veno shifted her load to her left hand as she handed Ego the key. “By the time I finish with him tonight, he will hand over his ATM card!”

“I trust you!” Bolanle gave her a hi-five. “Take it easy please.”

“Later ladies…”

“Later…”

They watched her strut away bags in tow.

“Bolanle…”

“I know what you are going to say. I feel terrible as well.”

“Let us just go to church and beg God to forgive us. I feel so silly. See how we celebrated the wrong thing just because we needed a ride? This broke state must end today.” Ego slammed her hand on the car. “It is either God tells us what we need to do to make more money or we die there.”

“My dear…I agree with you. Desperate times call for desperate measures.”

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The music was moving, the ambience was heavenly, the message was rousing and the fellowship warm but Ego could not stop thinking about the fact that her account was over-drawn and she didn’t even have money to put in the offering basket. She had attended finance seminars and even tried investing in a few deals which had gone sour; it was perplexing why she never had enough at the end of every month.

“Sister Ego!”

She turned to see who was calling her. Bolanle was chatting with the head of her department.

Even accountant is broke…” The voice calling her finally stopped before her and tapped her arm before she snapped out of her reverie.

“Good evening Sister Ego.”

It was Roland. He was in charge of the church’s press.

“Hi.” She let out a breath.

He was tall.

He was handsome.

He was rich.

He was godly.

He was single.

What more did a girl need?

“Hi. I really hoped you would be in church today. How are you?” Roland was saying.

“I’m fine. How are you?”

“I’m doing ok. So my fiancée’s dad is into charity…’

He’s off the market! Ouch!”

“He sent me a text tonight that someone came to him with a proposal to sponsor a training program for some indigent kids who want to learn corel draw. You were the first name that popped into my mind.”

“Oh! What will it entail?”

“It covers 40 children from each public school in his local government area. I know it is something you have been doing. It’s rather urgent as he has to choose someone to run the program tonight. Could you forward a proposal and curriculum to my email in 30 minutes?”

Ego scratched her head. “I can come up with a proposal but the curriculum will take a few days.”

“Days? This guy is a politician. If you want their money you strike while the iron is hot else they will give it to someone they owe a favor. Besides he told me I had to send it tonight as a favor because I told him you are the best at what you do.”

“Thank you for mentioning my name but please beg him for me. I can take tomorrow off work and get it done.”

“I’ll try but I can’t make promises.”

“Please…beg him for me. I will do an excellent job.”

“Sister Ego, you told me months ago you were praying for a second source of income.”

“Yes O!”

“Do you mean that since that time you did not actually prepare for the miracle you have been waiting on? Did you register a business name?”

“Errrm…No.”

“Did you write a business plan?”

“No.”

“Where was the money supposed to come from? Are you one of those believers who thinks someone will walk up to them and say ‘God bless you. The Lord ministered unto me that I should sell my car and give you the money because thou art a faithful servant in his vineyard’?” Roland had his arms crossed, gaze fixed on her.

She squirmed. “Is there anything wrong with that?”

“I bet you also believed all the money you have been giving in church will come back to you in multiple folds?”

“Is that not what we are taught…Pressed down, shaken together and running over shall men give into your bosom?” She was defiant.

Roland shook his head, smiling gently. “How does money flow?”

“I wish I knew. I have been working hard hoping for raise to no avail. I wish I could get a better job.” She sucked her teeth.

“No matter what you are paid, if you don’t understand the language of money, the spirit of mammon and kingdom finance, you will always be broke.”

“Huh?”

“I learned the hard way so bear with me if I am very direct.” He motioned to a chair.

“Hey people!” Bolanle joined them. “Good evening.”

“Hi Sis!”

“Join us. Bro Roland was about to give me a lecture on money.”

Instead of lecture you can epp us with cash…” Bolanle laughed, half-joking, half-serious.

“What I am giving you is better than cash. It will save you from Pentecostal frustration.”

“Pentecostal frustration…”

“Yeah…doing all the things the holy book says without seeing results but being too afraid to complain so that thunder will not fire your head.” Roland rolled his eyes.

The ladies burst into laughter.

“I didn’t know you had a sense of humor,” Bolanle said.

“He must have got it from his fiancée…” Ego cleared her throat with intention.

“Are you engaged?” Bolanle got the message and played along. “A big congratulations!”

“Thank you. I fell very lucky.”

“I can imagine.” Ego swallowed.

“So…what was it you were going to teach us?”

“I’ll be brief. Money flows in the direction of value. The more value you provide, the more money you attract. If you provide value to a few people, you create few channels for money and vice versa.”

“Okay.” Ego nodded.

“It doesn’t matter how much money I am giving away, if I don’t create new channels, there will be no pressed down running over nothing.”

“Huh?”

“You will keep giving offering and getting poorer unless you open up more channels.”

“I have a job as a graphic artist,” Ego interjected.

“I am an accountant.”

“Good. It’s good you have a salary so you can use it to fund your ideas. Your present income is a reflection of what value your boss places on your services. But in the spirit realm, your financial worth is a function of the value you place on yourself. And your value increases by how many people you serve.”

“Hmm…” Bolanle murmured.

“What did Jesus say, ‘He who wants to be the greatest must be the servant of all’. Today I asked Ego for a proposal and a curriculum to qualify for an opportunity to make millions but she was not ready.”

“You took me by surprise,” Ego protested.

“That’s it. You should have been expectant. You have seed in the ground. This talent you have should have already been in the market. You should have been training people even if for free but that would have given you a testimonial and you would have a curriculum you could send to me at the snap of your fingers.” He snapped his fingers in emphasis.

Bolanle nodded. “That’s true. I have been thinking of creating a budget app unique to Nigerian shopping patterns but finance has been a challenge.”

“Do you have the idea written? Have you developed a business plan? Who have you approached to sponsor it?”

She bit her lip. “It was just an idea.”

“No it wasn’t. It was a portal opened to you so that you can receive your harvest. Instead of running with it, you have been waiting for miracles…24 hour miracles.” Roland checked his watch. “I actually met my fiancée at a course I took in Lagos Business School. She was the facilitator. Her parents are wealthy but she has carved a niche for herself by building a company from scratch.”

Rub it in…” Ego pinched Bolanle.

“Ladies I’ve got to run.” He rose. “Put your ideas to work. Serve as many people as you can. From the money you make, save some, give away some, invest some and spend the rest on yourself. Manna has stopped falling.”

“Thanks Roland.” Ego rose and shook his hand.

Bolanle reached for a hug. “I appreciate it.”

He waved as he left.

Ego punched her friend on the shoulder. “You had to get a hug. Didn’t you hear he is engaged?”

My sis…leave that thing. So that girl wants to take the most eligible bachelor in this church just like that? Make I collect hug na if the full thing no go reach me.” She laughed.

“God will give us our own. Don’t worry,” Ego said.

“Yes O!”

“Let’s rush home so I can put together the proposal he asked for. Even if I lose this opportunity it won’t happen next time. I need to be ready so the next time an angel shows up I will not be found wanting.”

Shebi you know say na angel God send so?”

Yup! I know it alright!”

 

 

THE END

 

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Cheers,

Dr.N

 

(P.S. I may not put up something every week but you can always send me an email via drnsmusings@yahoo.com or on twitter @nenabekee).

Birthday Wish

Posted on

Hello muses,

It’s my birthday on the 24th. Yay!

So I got published today on Bella naija.

Would you do me a favor?

Please read the post, leave a comment and broadcast to your friends. Thank you so much.

Cheers,

Dr. N

Adaeze The True Princess

Posted on

Hello Muses, I want to introduce you all to a book I wrote 2 years ago. It’s targeted at kids aged 7 years and above but it’s a great read even for adults.

It is about Adaeze an 8 year old girl born into a wealthy family and pampered to the point that she believes her name which means Princess entitles her to tread on people’s feelings.

Eventually she loses everything and has to move in with a strict aunt where she has to adjust to a life where being a princess means entirely something different.

I am sold out at the moment but copies are available at Laterna, The Hub, Patabah and Ocent bookshops all in Lagos. Online it is available at Amazon, shuzia.com and okadabooks.com

Merry Christmas y’all.

 

Cheers,

 

Dr. N

Fall On My Sword 21-Finale

Posted on Updated on

 

 

Chapter 10

 

Preye was seeing her last patient when a commotion outside got her attention. She asked him to excuse her and ran out to the gate to find that a crowd had gathered around a man who had hit a motorcycle rider. He was explaining that he was not at fault and that the rider had run a red light but the other commercial riders were not having any of it. She saw he was in danger of getting lynched and inserted herself in the fray.

“Can someone help me carry him into the hospital?” she shouted as she knelt to take his pulse.

He was a young man; lying on the road groaning in pain. She saw that he had a cut on his arm and a few bruises and concluded his injuries were mild. One of her nurses saw what she was doing and went back for a stretcher. Two of the onlookers assisted her staff to carry him inside. The car owner followed them, sweating visibly.

 

When the crowd saw that the fun was over, they dispersed. The bike of the patient was in bad shape so the gate man wheeled it to the front of the reception before locking the gate. By this time, Preye had donned her gloves and begun to examine the victim who had been laid on her couch. Her dental patient had also risen to watch the unfolding drama. She gave him an injection to relieve his pains and began to clean his cuts. Luckily none of them required stitches so she dressed them and asked her nurse to get him a change of clothes. All the while the driver of the car involved stood by watching her without saying a word.

He followed her to her office when she finished.

“How can I thank you?” he asked.

“I didn’t want them to set your car ablaze or worse beat you up. Those guys are aggressive,” she said.

He sank into a chair, his face in his hands.

Preye felt grief in her spirit. “There is something more. You lost a loved one this morning. Did you lose your mother?” she asked.

He looked up, surprised. “How did you know? She died yesterday after battling with Diabetic complications for months. I prayed, I pleaded, I begged God to heal her. Why didn’t he answer me? I have been serving him all my life.”

“The Spirit of God would have you know that He loves you and would never hurt you. Your mother told God she was ready to go.”

“Why must he take her? I needed her here.”

“What do you need that the Holy Spirit cannot do for you? He is reaching for you. Lay your head on his shoulder and allow him to comfort you.”

The man nodded still overcome with emotion.

“Let me give you space to talk with God. I think you both have a lot to discuss.” Preye rose and left her office to him.

 

*************************************************************************************************************************

 

 

 

“Moses, do you mean you have lost all the money you borrowed to start business?” Nedu asked, incredulous.

“Every dime is gone!”

“Were you duped or what? I don’t understand it.”

“Someone Chibaby introduced me to gave me a contact in China who was supposed to ship in the equipment. He has turned off his phone now. I can’t reach him at his address. They said he moved out.”

“Chichi should be able to tell you where to find him. She knows him, right?”

“She said I should have done my due diligence; that she only introduced him to me and didn’t vouch for his integrity. Now everyone is blaming me. How do I face my investors, Nedu? I am done for!” Moses was panting as he spoke, his hands on his head.

They were in Nedu’s house. It was 5am. Nedu had been surprised when Moses knocked at his door that early on a Wednesday without calling first but had received him without hesitation. Now, he wondered if the case was not beyond him.

“What kind of equipment were you importing exactly? And I wonder why you never involved me? I would have told you how to go about it.”

“Chichi said I should keep it to myself because of haters.”

“Haters?”

“She said I needed to prove to you and all my friends that I am my own man and I can stand on my own. She said my friends see me as a weakling who is being fed by his wife and I need to challenge that impression.” Moses was sobbing by now.

Nedu shook his head sadly. “I wonder what gave her that impression. I have known you for far longer than her and I have never been a hater.”

“From the day she connected me to the man who invested the money she became ungovernable. She does whatever she likes and I am afraid to correct her. I thought when the deal pulls through I will become rich and finally have a voice in my own home but alas!”

“That means she simply set you up. I refuse to believe otherwise.”

“Nedu do you know she is a drug addict?”

“Isi gini? (what did you say?) Drug addict?” Nedu shrank back.

“She was doing drugs in secret but now she is so brazen. Even though she is pregnant, she still uses Indian hemp and cocaine.”

“Did you say she is pregnant?”

“She is a few weeks pregnant. What do I do? I am tired of this life. I feel like taking my own life.”

“Let’s start with the money. How much is it?”

“It is a total of N25 million.”

“Okay; you will get a lawyer and do an agreement with the investors as to a time frame within which to repay them.”

“Repay them? I cannot earn that kind of money from guitar lessons even in 50 years. I will have to sell 1 kidney to get the money.”

“It is just to get them off your back while we put the EFCC on the guy who stole the money. I have a contact there. We went to school together and he helped out my brother Obinna when he lost some money to a business partner.”

“Thank you so much! You don’t know what you have done for me. You are a friend indeed!” Moses clasped his hand in gratitude.

“Don’t thank me yet, Moses. You need to come clean. What is the true state of your relationship with God? Is He your ATM machine or your Father? You need to declare your stand so I can define my relationship with you. Sometimes I don’t know if I am dealing with a stark unbeliever or a baby Christian or a scoffer. You have been born again for over 10 years yet you still struggle to obey God. What gives?”

Moses looked at him ruefully. “I haven’t been serious with my Christian life, have I?”

“No you haven’t. Younger Christians than you are bearing the fruits of the spirit, manifesting the gifts of the Holy Spirit and taking territories. I think it is time for you to come up higher?”

“How do I do that?”

“You start by telling yourself the truth. Stop pretending to be so smart and tell yourself the truth. Next, open up to God on how you got to where you are and be ready to give up anything he asks you to.”

“Help me my brother,” Moses sank to his knees in anguish.

“Let me call my boys to man the shop. I sense we will have to spend the morning praying. As for Chichi, does her friend know she is pregnant?”

“I am not sure she knows. She has withdrawn from her over the past few months. I heard she quit her job and moved to a new apartment. She and that girl who is a dentist are living together.”

“That’s good. I believe God wants to use her to talk Chichi out of her drug habit; if for no other reason, for the health of your child.”

Moses burst into tears at this point so Nedu knelt beside him and began to pray in other tongues.

 

*****************************************************************************************************************************

 

 

 

Nedu and Moses went the next day to Preye and Didi’s house to talk to her. She had decided to share the rent with Preye instead of looking for another house and was now running a consultancy business from her living room. It had been 1 year since she broke up with Stan.

They had called to say they wanted to come over for a chat so the ladies were expecting them. Nedu had avoided direct contact with Didi as much as he could even though they saw each other in church often. It had almost cost him his sanity but he had concluded it was a test God was putting him through before introducing him to whoever would eventually become his wife.

 

As they talked with her while Preye made dinner, he tried to keep his eyes on the wall behind her but it was next to impossible. He thought she was really beautiful and it was punishment to hear how much she had progressed in her walk with God. It was evident she had changed the course of her life in obedience to God and even given Chichi space when she tried to drag her back into the life she fled. She broke down when she heard that Chichi was using hard drugs while pregnant.

“No, she can’t continue to do that!”

They waited in silence while she cried. Moses held her hand but Nedu was afraid that if he touched her his body would betray him so he crossed his arms and legs and sat as far from her as he could. When she dried her tears, she asked them if they would be willing to pray with her before she went to speak with Chichi.

“The bible says this kind goeth not out but by prayer and fasting. If you would be willing, I want us to declare a 3-day fast for me so that when I talk to her I will be like the oracle of God. I want her to agree to go in for rehabilitation, detoxification, counseling, deliverance…whatever it takes!” she cried.

“Of course we will,” Moses agreed.

Nedu nodded, almost choking with his emotions. As they rose to go to the table he pursed his lips.

 

The man who will marry this girl is very lucky.

Do you want to marry her?

Don’t torture me. I can’t bear it. You know what it cost me to let her go.

It’s time Nedu. Ask her to go to lunch with you next Sunday

For real? A date? I can ask her out?

She will be your wife.

Noooooo! You’re playing

I don’t joke with destinies

Thank you so much! Whoop! I love you so much Holy Spirit.

I love you too!

 

 

 

 

 

 

The End

 

 

***********************************************************************************************************************

 

 

Dear Holy Spirit, I wrote this story as a love letter to you. I fell in love with you when we met while I was in secondary school and you showed me how to avoid getting into trouble with the senior students. I am amazed by your compassion, your brilliance and your generosity. The reason I wrote this is I want everyone I meet to know you, to know you are the wind in my sails, the spring in my step, the reason for my sunny disposition. Thank you for keeping me. That I passed through the waters and did not drown, passed through fire and did not get singed, climbed mountains and did not gasp for breath is because your voice has always been in ear saying “This is the way. Go this way.” I love you.

Dr. N

@nenabekee

drnsmusings@yahoo.com

 

The End

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Fall On My Sword 20

Posted on Updated on

 

Nedu and Kevin were at a double date with Kevin’s wife Tamara and Isio. The venue was an ice cream shop a stone throw from church. The outing was planned over the course of two weeks after Nedu and Isio got talking and became fast friends. It would be their first date. Nedu could feel the nerves particularly because he had been unable to hear God’s opinion on him asking Isio out. She was witty and friendly and it was easy to talk to her. He almost began to forget about Didi.

You don’t want me to ask Didi out yet I chose to befriend someone else and you are not giving me your approval either. Is there no winning with you?

I gave you a direct instruction and you flouted it.

But I am tired of being alone. I want to marry. Besides, Isio is everything I everything dreamed of.

You are mine. As a soldier in my army, you obey your commander without complaining.

I am sorry Lord. What do I do now? The girl is already expecting that I will ask her to be my girlfriend. How do I dig myself out? I did not mean to disobey you. Forgive me.

Tell her you want to match make Obinna and her.

My younger brother Obinna? That is not a bad idea. Thank you so much. I will wait for whoever you appoint me to love and cherish. But…Holy Spirit…mee ngwa ngwa…I will be 38 soon. Let people not wonder if there is something wrong with me.

Nwoke m call Obinna and tell him you have found a great girl for him. See your mouth like mee ngwa ngwa. He that believeth shall not make haste. Don’t you know a day is like a thousand years in my sight?

Meaning I will have to wait 1000 years…na wa Oh!

Keep complaining and your wait will be elongated.

Na joke I joke Oh! Sorry sir!

 

 

**********************************************************************************************************************

 

 

 

“Stan, hi; I wasn’t to see expecting you in church.”

“Are you kidding me? I couldn’t miss hearing you sing,” Stan says reaching for a hug.

I hug him discretely, slipping out of his grasp almost immediately. Chichi is coming over to say hello. We usually catch up while Moses is helping his mates pack up the equipment. Sometimes we get lunch. On other days we part at the parking lot and I go to find Preye who is always ready to hang out. I have avoided Stan as much as possible and luckily he has been busy with work. It appears my luck has run out.

“It was just back-up,” I deflect his praise.

“Nonsense; I heard you distinctly and you out-sang the others.”

“Well, thank you but remember it is not a competition.”

He takes my hand and intertwines our fingers. “Of course it is not a competition. How can a cheetah race rabbits?”

Chichi is at his side so he turns and hugs her without letting me go. “Hello, Chi; you look nice.”

“Thank you. You have been away for too long. Did you want my friend to go nuts?” Chichi asks, throwing me a conspiratorial wink.

If only she knew what I have gone through in his absence; buying books on sexual purity, praying and fasting, plotting what to do in every scenario: everything but break up with him.

“I missed her as well. You know how I feel about her.” He draws me close and pecks my cheek.

I cringe but he doesn’t notice.

“Aww! You guys are just cute together,” Chichi beams. “Are we getting lunch?”

“No! I want her all to myself. By the time I finish with her, her legs will be shaking!” Stan announces.

“Ewo!” Chichi exclaims. “Take it easy on my friend please. You haven’t paid her bride price.”

“How much is it? I will pay double,” he scoffs.

Mentally, I am fishing for excuses. “How do I extricate myself from this mess? Father help me. I want to serve you in spirit and truth. I can’t keep going round in circles.”

Chichi is laughing and saying something I can’t hear because I am scouting the room for Preye or Annette. I reach into my bag to get my phone and call them for help.

“Baby, shall we?” Stan doesn’t give me time to think but ushers me towards the door.

I wave at Chichi who makes a face at me and turns away. Preye and Annette are not in sight. I can’t make the call without being heard. We get to his car and he opens the door to let me in.

“Let me drive behind you,” I suggest. I am hoping he says yes so I can run away to fight another day.

“We can come back and pick your car in the evening. I have missed you so much. I want you now.”

He is in the driver’s seat, staring into my eyes intensely, breathing into my face. I nod like an agama lizard and he kisses me.

“I love you,” he says.

“I love you too.”

How about me, Didi? Do you love me?

Who are you Lord?

I am your Lord. Do you love me?

I love you Lord.

Why then do you not obey me?

“Didi, I got you your favourite perfume.”

“No way! It has been out of stock in Nigeria for a while. Where did you find it?”

“I wrote to the designer and told him I offended my girlfriend and the only way I could apologize was with a bottle of his perfume. He had his team send me 2 bottles. 1 is complementary.”

“That is unbelievable! You mean I have 2 bottles to myself?” I reach over for a hug but he turns it into something else until I come up for air.

“Keep my reward till we get home. I don’t want these sanctimonious folk to kick you out of the choir.” He smirks and fastens his seatbelt before speeding off.

His statement reminds me of my conversation with the Holy Spirit. In the past I would have chuckled at his criticism of church folk and thrown a few barbs of my own. Now I am one of them and it has just brought me back to reality.

I am saved.

I am filled with the Holy Ghost.

I have been baptized in water.

I know the truth.

I serve in the choir.

“How can I continue serving two masters?”

He doesn’t notice that I am more quiet than usual while he carries on telling me about his trip and all the deals he closed. I am biting my lip because I don’t know how to tell him the relationship is over. I can’t continue to live a lie. Like Sis. Annette said, I have to be single for a while and learn how to serve God with my single status before I commit to serving God as a married woman. Even if he proposes today, I cannot marry him because I can sense that he will end the pretence and forbid me to go to church or sing in the choir. I know he has humored me thus far so as not to scare me.

We pull into the driveway before his house after his gateman opens the gate for us. It is an imposing 5 bedroom house with a pool, pent house, gym and field at the back for his dogs to run in. he has a gardener who comes in 3x a week, a live-in steward and a cook who comes in whenever he is around.

“I asked Kweku to make lunch and leave because I didn’t want any interruptions. I hope you don’t mind dishing the food?” he asks as we step into the house.

“I don’t mind.”

In the foyer, he takes my bag and flings it on the floor. Then he picks me up, kisses me and carries me up the stairs to his room. I find myself placed gently on the bed before I can protest.

“Do you know you are the most beautiful woman in the world?”

“Umm,” I mutter. I feel as though a stone were in my throat.

If you don’t rescue me, I will be here all night and this cycle will never end. Give me a way out Lord. I meant it when I said I am tired. Help me. I feel so weak. I don’t know what to do.

Flee!

Huh? How am I going to do that? All 85kg of him is lying on top of me.

Ask him to go and take a shower.

“Sweetheart?”

“Hmm?” He raises his head from where he was trailing kisses down my neck.

“Could you go and take a shower?”

“Now?” He gives me a quizzical glance.

“’l’ll join you. Let me just get a drink from the kitchen.” I smile hoping he doesn’t read my thoughts.

He makes a face and grunts. “Oh well…what the lady wants, the lady gets.” He rises to pull off his clothes slowly, teasing me till I blush. Then he blows me a kiss and heads for the shower.

When the door closes behind him, I rush downstairs and pick up my bag from where he threw it. Opening the door as quietly as I can manage, I make my way outside.

“Oti, come and open the gate for me,” I call to the gateman.

“Madam, any problem?” he asks as he unlocks it.

“I want to collect something from someone. I will soon be back.” I am almost shaking. I cannot bear the thought of him noticing I left and calling to his gateman to stop me.

Once I am outside, I remember I don’t have my car.

What do I do now? If I call a taxi, he may come outside and see me waiting for it. I don’t want him to talk me into going back.

Call Preye and tell her where you are. Then turn off your phone.

 

I check to make sure Oti is not watching and then run to a small kiosk down the street. Taking cover behind the owner’s desk, I explain to her that I don’t want my ex-boyfriend to see me. She smiles in understanding and goes to sit outside in order to deflect all intruders. I pull out my phone and call Preye.

“Hi Didi; I didn’t see you after service.”

“Where are you?”

“I am in a friend’s house. She is supposed to give me some fabric for…”

“What street is it? I need you to come and pick me?”

“It is Duromi street. Is there any problem?”

“That is not far from here. I’ll send my address. I am hiding from Stan in a small kiosk called Madam Ice. She is outside. Just tell her you came to pick me. I have to turn off my phone.”

“Are you in any danger?”

“No, I am fine. I will tell you everything when you get here. Please hurry.”

“Okay, I’ll be there shortly.”

 

*********************************************************************************

 

“Didi, what is going on? Stan has been calling me. He said you blocked his number and you are not in your house. What is the matter? Did he hit you?” Chichi asked on phone.

“I sent him a message telling him it is over between us. Why won’t he accept that?”

“What did he do? Did he cheat on you?”

“I want more than he can offer.”

“What more do you want, Didi? The guy is sweet, romantic, stinking rich and caring. I don’t think he deserves this.”

“Chichi, you remember the day I called you to tell you Moses asked me if you smoke weed?”

“Yes, I do.”

“I lied to him and I felt very bad; I felt as if I stabbed a child.”

“It’s not that deep, Didi. You know I would do the same for you.”

“That’s the thing. I don’t want to live that life anymore. I want God to be proud of me. Jesus did not die for us to live this kind of kalo kalo life we have been living.” I am almost in tears at this point.

“I don’t understand.”

“Come clean to Moses. He will forgive you. Wipe the slate clean and make your marriage work.”

“If you want to insult me let me know. What is this about wiping the slate,” Chichi sneers. “Kpachakwara onwe gi anya (Mind your business).”

“Chichi, Moses told me you secured him an investment to import sound equipment. He even asked me to thank you for him.”

“Yes, I did.”

“Does he know you are having an affair with that man?”

“I am doing it for Moses!” Chichi snarls, defensive.

“If you wanted to help him why didn’t you tell him to ask Nedu his friend for the money or the contacts? Nedu is doing something similar, I recall.”

“He said he is already so indebted to him and he wants to surprise them; to prove he is a man. What should I have done? I had to support my husband.”

“You are on a slippery slope, Chichi and I would be a bad friend if I didn’t tell you. End all those relationships and face your marriage.”

Chichi is silent for a while.

“Where are you?” she asks finally.

“I moved in with a friend of mine.”

“Did you quit your job? Stan said you haven’t been at work for a few days.”

“I had to quit. I got that job the wrong way and they will keep using it against me.”

“What are you going to do now?”

“I have some savings. I might go into consultancy as a project manager or look for another job. Right now I am waiting on God to lead me. I don’t want to preempt him. Who knows he might even want me to become a professional gospel musician.”

Chichi laughs. “Musician? That will be the day.”

“You never know.” I laugh as well.

“Chichi, do you promise to think about what I said?”

“I will think about it. It’s scary though, to open up that can of worms. I don’t think Moses can handle it.”

“We can pray for wisdom. I want to introduce you to my best friend, the Holy Spirit. There is no mess he can’t get you out of. Nothing fazes him; he can’t be embarrassed and he is always compassionate. He won’t mock you or use your mistakes against you.”

“Jiri nwayo! One thing at a time. It seems you have become a pastor. Meanwhile, what do I tell Stan?”

“Tell him it’s over. I am with someone else and he has to move on.”

“Is this like self-mutilation or what? Are you punishing yourself for your past?”

“On the contrary, Jesus was punished for our sins. What I am doing is called dying to self. I made the decision to fall on my own sword and I’m loving my new life in Christ. If you decide to do same I will hold your hands and support you.”

“Fall gini? Biko kwa. Take care of yourself.”

“Bye, Chi. I am praying for you.”

“Thank you. I mela. Let me call Stan. I hope he won’t kill himself.”

“He won’t, Chichi. Bye now.”

 

**********************************************************

Thanks for reading everyone. The Final episode comes up next week after which I will go on a break. I really appreciate all the comments, likes and shares. God bless you real good.

I am @nenabekee or drnsmusings@yahoo.com in case you have questions.

Cheers,

Dr. N

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Fall On My Sword 19

Posted on

 

Chapter 9

I returned to my seat after calling Chichi and telling her what had just transpired. Annette and Preye observe my somber mood and ask what happened. I deflect but it affects our mood. It is obvious I am holding back and our meetings have always been raw and honest.

For instance, Preye has confessed to Annette her struggle with greed and stealing. A number of times in the past she has cheated her partner out of earnings by falsifying documents, diverting patients and out-rightly taking money from the till with the collusion of the accountant. Annette asked her to own up and return all she took. She nearly died of shame when her partner told her he had become suspicious and was already planning to set up CCTV secretly in order to gather evidence.

“Thank God I confessed,” she had said. “Can you imagine how shameful it would have been if that man had confronted me? He could have written to have my license withdrawn or worse.”

Annette added, “He could have leaked the story to the papers or the blogs.”

“That would have been terrible!” I exclaim.

“I can’t thank God enough for the ‘liver’ to walk into that man’s office that day. Now I know that God is really looking out for me. How would I have faced my parents if such a thing were made public?”

“Like I told you, Jesus has broken the hold of sin in our lives. It is now up to us to resist temptation by identifying the pathways through which it creeps in on us. For you it was your desire to own luxurious stuff but now you have learned that godliness with contentment is godliness. We all have our struggles but when we identify the root we can ask the Holy Spirit for help,” Annette theorizes.

“That is what I do. Every day I ask Him for help in the area of greed and also when I feel tempted to dream about what I cannot afford I turn it into a conversation with the Holy Spirit. I tell Him how much I love designer stuff and to please provide them for me but in the time being to help me to enjoy the non-designer stuff I can afford,” Preye says.

“That’s so deep,” I mutter.

“Praise God for you my dear. Your God is with you,” Annette says.

I breathe in deeply and release the breath. “I have something I have been meaning to share.”

“Yeah?” Annette raises an eyebrow.

I lean forward on my elbows and put my chin my palms. “I have been unable to convince my boyfriend that we should wait until we are married. Each time we have sex I feel so guilty that I can’t pray or read my bible for days. It is because of this our meeting I studied the portion of the bible we discussed. The guilt is killing me.”

 

Annette and Preye scoot closer and hold my hands.

“I have tried everything; from avoiding him, to lying about my periods, to keeping malice with him. I even cried but he threatened to break up with me. He said he once had a girlfriend who denied him sex because she claimed to be a virgin only for him to catch her in bed with her ex one day.”

“That’s awful!” Preye cries.

“I really love him and I don’t want to lose him.”

“I thought he is a believer: You guys attended the discipleship class together?” Preye asks.

“I was excited as well when he seemed to have a hunger for God. When I bring it up these days, he laughs and asks me if Jesus himself doesn’t know that it is unnatural for a man to be without a woman for more than 1 month.”

“That’s ungodly of him!” Annette shakes her head sadly.

“Why doesn’t he just propose?” Preye asks.

“Even if he does, I don’t think the fundamental issue has been addressed,” Annette cut in. “He doesn’t have the mind of Christ. I think he is a scoffer.”

“It pains me to admit that but…I must.” I wince.

“What does the Holy Spirit have to say about it?” Preye fixes her gaze on me.

“He obviously wants me to end the relationship. There was even a prophecy the day I attended rehearsal in church for the first time.”

“Wow! You mean you have expressly heard God and you are still negotiating?” Annette shakes my shoulder. “That is dangerous! Do you know what happened to Jonah when he dodged his assignment? My sister, it is obvious you have the call of God upon your life. Take up your cross and follow him.”

“What does that mean?”

“It means give up whatever is standing in the way of total surrender to Christ.”

“I love Stan.” I am now sulking.

“Then the love of the Father is not in you. You can continue your relationship with Stan but do not lie that you love Jesus. He does not share.”

Annette is so brutal that I secretly wander if she is jealous of my boyfriend. I know she is a widower but she is young enough to still want a man of her own.

“Let me tell you what happened to Pastor Dawodu when he ignored God’s call into ministry. He was a pampered young man born to succeed his father who was the principal partner of one of the top 3 law firms in Nigeria,” Annette narrated. “He got born again in the university and felt God was calling him to be a pastor after his NYSC. When he told his mother, she advised him to perish the thought because his father would not abide it. She gave him an inkling of what was to come by seizing his car and stopping his allowance. Subsequently, his fiancé broke up with him and friends stayed away because the cash was not flowing as before. He held out for a few months before calling his mom to tell her he had changed his mind. He decided he could serve God as a leader maybe of a service unit or something so he could keep on enjoying the privileges of his birth.”

“Wow, I never knew this. Go on…” Preye says.

“He joined the law firm but it was one disaster after the other. It was either he lost a case or he offended a client or staff were quitting because he treaded on their toes. One day, a client accused him of sleeping with his wife for whom he was trying to secure a divorce in court.”

“Chei! Chi m Oh!” I exclaim.

“The scandal was monumental. He has not even lived it down. The worst thing was that when the man offered his wife more money than she had asked for she agreed to lie that they had had an affair.”

“I don’t mean to rain on your parade but…how are you sure he was innocent? People make mistakes all the time and I am sure we all have heard of pastors who took of the forbidden fruit.”

“I’ll tell you how I know but first let me finish the story. He quit the firm and left the country while his father begged the man to allow the matter to die. While abroad, he joined a church and opened up to the pastor about the call he had rejected. The man told him to accept his call to pastoring and his life would be back on track. He went to Bible College and became the pastor’s assistant for 5 years before returning to start Shepherd center.”

“That’s a very interesting story,” I admit.

“It’s really interesting. You haven’t told us why you are so sure he was falsely accused of adultery,” Preye asks.

“When he wanted to get married, his wife-to-be was concerned about the scandal as were his parents. He prayed about it and contacted the woman he was accused of sleeping with. She agreed to confess in person to them as long as it wasn’t recorded or ever repeated before her husband. The meeting was arranged at a venue chosen by the woman and only his fiancé and her parents attended. She confessed that she lied because that was the condition her husband gave her for their reconciliation and that he would kill her if he found out that she told anyone the truth.”

Both Preye and I are speechless. We sit there mouths hanging open, arms crossed over our breasts, staring at Annette.

“I only know this because his wife is my cousin and she confided in me. A few people know the truth but the story in the public space is that he is a repented adulterer.”

I clap my hands slowly, the way my mother used to do when amazed by the gossip my aunt brought back from the market.

“Wonders shall never end!” I sigh.

“Anyway, the point is you need to end this relationship and learn how to be single. Commit to 6 months or 1 year without dates and nurture your individuality. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace; how to talk with and walk with the Holy Spirit. Make him a daily part of your life. You know praying in tongues is just the beginning; you need to enter the conversation level to enjoy Christianity.”

“Does that mean I will never get married?” I ask exasperated.

“Let me tell you what used to happen during the days when African Americans lived as slaves. They needed the consent of their masters to marry and sometimes he took liberties with the lady of their choice before the marriage was allowed. Now, that is disgusting and I am in no way saying God is like that. However, we call Him Lord just as slaves do but He has no say in our lives. We do what we want and go where we like; how is Jesus Lord of your life if you cannot trust his choice of a life partner for you?”

Preye and I look at each other and nod.

“That’s a good point,” Preye agrees.

“I met a widower 3 years ago and fell in love with him. God asked me to wait for 6 months before going on a date with him. The man kept putting me under pressure because according to him he needed a mother for his 3 children. After 3 months, I was telling someone about him when the person said his name sounded familiar and asked for his picture.”

“No…” I interrupt.

“You guessed right. He had a South African wife who was very much alive and the 3 children whose pictures I saw were only 3 out of his 7 children.”

“Ewo!” Preye exclaims.

“The thing is my libido is such that I would have probably jumped him after the first few dates.”

Preye and I gasp. “Sister Annette!”

“I know my limits please. I don’t go on solo dates and I don’t date for the sake of it. The next man I will go out with has to be my husband and he has to have serious self-control. Also, there will be no time for a long courtship.”

Preye and I burst into laughter. “Sister Annette!”

She rolls her eyes and reaches for her drink nonplussed. “The Holy Spirit and I know my weakness and we are open about it. You girls are the ones forming macho. She that is down needs fear no fall biko.”

 

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Chichi and Moses are at dinner with a couple from work. The man is the VP Operations at her firm and his wife is a fashion designer.

“Chichi tells me you want to start importing sound equipment?” the man asked.

“Yes, sir. I have a business plan and I have already lined up some contacts in the event business,” Moses responded eagerly.

“Church is good business these days. The way they are springing up left and right; I might go into it for myself.” He let out a guffaw.

Moses chuckled in agreement though, stifling his discomfort.

“All these pastors are thieves,” his wife concurred, spearing her steak like a warrior. “I don’t know why people still go to church. The most stupid are those who allow themselves to be talked into parting with their hard-earned money.”

Her husband let out a bellow and banged on the table without a care. Chichi laughed politely. Moses was dumbfounded. These people were unbelievable. How come all his wife’s friends were stark unbelievers. He wished he could tell them that his salary was paid from the money people gave to the church but he didn’t want to offend them.

“Anyway,” the man continued after wiping his mouth. “We have N10m to invest and I know Chichi to be an astute manager. My wife and yours go way back; which is why I brought her into the firm in the first place.”

Chichi nodded humbly, never letting on that she had a very ‘personal’ relationship with him far removed from that which she had with his wife.

“Submit your business plan to me and we will work things out. I also know a few friends who can commit more money so you’ll have a tidy sum to start with.”

“Thank you sir. I’m grateful sir.” Moses had all but dropped to his knees as he thanked him profusely over and over.

“Don’t thank me my man. Thank your wife. She is the genius who talked me into all this because she knows I like to make money.” The man bursts into laughter again.

Moses laughs politely as well. “I assure you sir; you will make more money than you ever dreamed from this deal. Trust me when I say I am completely devoted to this. You have my guarantee.”

“Words are sweet my man but money is sweeter,” the man responds and again bends over with a loud guffaw.

Moses stares in fascination at his protruding abdomen as it heaves with laughter. The button at his navel is rotating in tune with his laugh as his abdomen strains against the shirt.

“Yes sir; money is sweeter,” Moses concurs.

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Fall On My Sword 18

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Moses was battling a suspicion he had had for long. It started as a hair-raising sensation whenever he got home before Chichi unexpectedly and she would be at the backyard with the back door locked. The house was designed such that he could not access the back from the front without alerting whoever was there. The last time this happened it took her almost 20 minutes to unlock the back door and when she did her eyes were dilated, glazed, unfocused. He actually panicked thinking she was ill but she smiled, squealed and flew into his arms for a hug and a deep kiss that forced him to abandon his suspicions.

Another day, he smelled what he suspected to be weed in the bathroom. He thought it was a leak from somewhere and shouted for their help to clean it thoroughly. Chichi was not at home that day. The girl said she had cleaned it that morning but proceeded to do it again. After that, the odor disappeared. Moses heaved a sigh of relief.

Today, he saw what looked like a stub from a roll of weed at the backyard when he went to practice his guitar in solitude. He did not want to ask Chichi about it because he felt she would take it badly. It was inconceivable to him that his domestic assistant used drugs because he had never had reason to suspect her. They did not have a gateman because the house was in an estate with a central gate. No other person had access to their backyard but the three of them. He decided to call Didi for help on a whim. He could not live without knowing the truth.

“Hello Didi, good afternoon,” he greeted when she answered at the fourth ring.

“Hi Moses.”

“Is this a good time or you’re swamped with work?”

“I am actually at a lunch date with Annette and Preye. We are having a shourt-course mentoring so we work around our busy schedules.”

“That’s so nice. When you go for all these programs you don’t invite your friend; why is that?” he accused.

“I do; it’s just that she has been busy. I assumed you are one of the reasons she no longer has time for me.” Didi laughed shortly.

“Could you find a private spot? I want to ask you something confidential,” Moses requested.

“Okay.”

He heard her tell her companions she had to take the call privately and then he heard the scraping of chairs as she changed locations.

“Alright, shoot; what’s going on?”

Moses heaved a sigh before asking the question that kept him awake the night before.

“Didi, does Chichi smoke weed?”

Didi was shocked. She stood there, silent, heart pounding for minutes.

“I…Didi…are you there?”

“Hmm.”

“Have you ever seen Chichi using weed?’

“Moses, I am surprised you are asking this type of question! How can you accuse your wife of smoking weed and then come to me to confirm it?”

“I am sorry to put you on the spot. I just felt you would know because of how close you both are…”

“I have never seen Chichi doing drugs!”

“You haven’t? Not even when you both were in school.”

“I never did. If she did, it was not in my presence and I never had reason to suspect her. Go home, love your wife and enjoy your marriage.”

“Okay, Didi, I am sorry I put you on the spot.”

“Thank you. I’ll talk to you later.”

Didi ended the call unceremoniously and dialed Chichi’s number furiously. She did not want to be drawn into their issues but she had to warn her that her husband was on to her before her addictions led to the breakup of the marriage.

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Nedu was interviewing a new entrant into the follow-up department Isio. She was a fair and heavily-endowed woman, a teacher who had known the Lord for over 20 years and had recently joined their church after relocating from Ibafo. Kevin his assistant who was also part of the interview panel had stepped out to take a call.

“What do you believe about demonic possession? Can a believer be possessed?” he asked.

“No,” she said. “I think a believer who doesn’t know his rights may be oppressed but never possessed. He is already possessed by the spirit of God and there cannot be two captains on one boat,” she replied.

“Good. What do you believe about salvation? How can we lose our salvation?”

“I don’t think anyone can lose his salvation. The gifts and calling of God are irreversible. Maybe the person would have to recant as in, say I don’t want you to be my Lord anymore Jesus or something. But I don’t think there is any sin we can commit that God cannot forgive. Paul wrote that neither death nor life angels nor powers can separate us from the love of God.”

“You are well-versed in scripture,” Nedu complimented her.

“Thank you but I don’t think that should be a rarity. We are called to be priests and kings so each of us should know the word for him or herself,” she smiled.

He noticed she had dimples and smiled back. Kevin came in at that time and apologized.

“That’s fine. I think we are done here. Your training will commence tomorrow. I’ll send you a text.” Nedu rose and shook her hand. Her grip was firm but soft and her eyes were kind.

“Thank you Bro Nedu,” she said.

“My parents did not name me Bro. The name is Chinedu, Nedu for short.” His eyes twinkled with mischief.

“Well, I prefer to be called Madam Isio,” she joked.

“Me too, I want to be called Sir. Kevin. After all my father was a knight of St. Mulumba,” Kevin added.

The group burst into laughter.

“It was nice meeting you Isio. Welcome to our department.”

“Thank you so much. I’ll take my leave.”

The men watched her leave.

Nedu, na your wife be this! I know she is your spec; fair, shapely, not too tall and she is grounded in scripture,” Kevin said when she was out of earshot.

Nedu was silent. Kevin was right. Before he fell in love with Didi, he dreamed of marrying a girl who looked like Isio and his friends knew. He began to wonder if there was anything wrong with him getting to know her better.

Father, since you won’t let me go for Didi, should I ask Isio out? She’s beautiful, full of the word and she’s a teacher. There’s a good chance Didi will not want to marry a trader in Alaba market. Am I putting all my eggs in one basket?

You are silent Lord? Why?

 

“Guy, collect her number and follow her up very well. The girl is hot and if anyone else notices her you may not have a chance,” Kevin was saying.

“How do you know she isn’t already in a relationship?”

“I heard her fiancé died a few months to their wedding years ago and since then she has kind of kept to herself.”

“How did you get all this information, Kevin?” Nedu stared at his friend with his mouth hanging open.

“My wife has a friend who went to school with her. Apparently the guy had sickle cell and was battling one crisis after the other.”

“Poor chap!”

“Yeah, pity; so are you going for her or what?”

“I’ll give her a call and see how she responds. If she gives me the green light I’ll know it’s a sign from God,” Nedu decided.

Kevin raised his hand and thumped him on the shoulder. “That’s what I’m talking about!” he exclaimed. “You need a good woman to put your life in order.”

“Are you trying to insinuate my life is out of order?” Nedu pushed him in jest.

“Guy, you won’t know what you’re missing until you taste it. Thank me later.”

 

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Thanks for reading, for leaving a comment and liking and sharing.

Cheers,

Dr. N.