sex

Esau’s Pottage

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When I was still single, I had this patient who was middle-aged; a politician with a lot of cash to throw around. The reason he got my number(which I usually withheld) was that I referred him to an ENT specialist and he requested to be able to call me to speak to him if need be. Subsequently, he kept in touch, calling occasionally just to say hello and so on. The staff of course loved him cause he was a big tipper. Whenever his posh car with the government license plate  rolled in, even those who should have closed for the day would hang on, hoping for a “blessing”.

One day, he called me in the afternoon.

“Good evening, sir”, I greeted. (Note he had a leadership position in church that came with a title).

“My doctor! How na?”

“Fine sir.”

“I am eating **** in **** restaurant. Would you like to join me? Let me send my car for you.”

Now picture me, fantasizing about myself being chauffeured in that posh car with good air conditioning, insulated from the harsh Niger Delta sun, arriving said restaurant like a ‘queen’, being served all sorts of delicacies, where I proceed to eat myself to stupor. The smell of hospital antiseptic jars me back to my senses.

“No, thank you sir. I have had lunch.” (Aunty long-throat whispers in my head ‘Liar! You have not!” but I ignore her voice.)

“Are you sure? They have**** and ***. Have you tasted****?”

(By this time I am shaking my head like MFM prayer warriors muttering in tongues to bind the devil)

“No, thanks again. Have a good meal. I have to see a patient. (Another lie!). Bye now.”

He never asked again even though he called me for many other reasons through the years. A few years back, I was married and living in Lagos at this time, he called me out of the blues. I greeted him heartily.

“Doc, I don’t know how to tell you this. I need a favour.”

“Shoot.”

“Well…it’s just that…I wish you were in town I would have come to see you to ask for advice.”

I wonder why he is stuttering. What could be making him so nervous?

“Why not tell me what the problem is; I could be able to help even though I am far away.”

“Is it not all these small small girls? They don’t know how to do the right thing.”

“Small girl? Is your daughter ill?

“No, not my daughter. It’s one small friend I have…(Big shot actually sounds sheepish). She said she did not see her period.”

I am tempted to sound obtuse and ask him to go to her house, take permission from her mother and help her find it but “Not today Satan! Stay professional Dr. N!)

“How old is she?”

“19”

“Haba! That is too young. An older girl might have known to use protection. Why didn’t you use protection?”

I can feel him squirming over the phone…even MTN can feel it. His money, cars, connections cannot protect him from the wrath of an Igbo woman.

“I used condom. She said…I don’t even know what she said…”

“Are you sure she is pregnant? Have you done a test?”

“She showed me the pregnancy test she did. It was positive. Doc, how do we flush it out? Is there any friend you have who can do it for me?”

“You know I don’t do such things!” I scolded.

He winced. “I know but maybe your friends?”

“I don’t have friends who do abortions. You know it is illegal. Why not keep the baby?”

“Ha! You know my status. I am an *** in church and she is a small girl.”

I thought for a while. There were 2 possibilities.

  1. She was pretending to be pregnant to con him out of money
  2. She was actually pregnant and if I didn’t intervene he would take her to a quack and she would end up with a septic abortion or even worse die.

“Go to the hospital, call one of the doctors aside and tell him you need to ask him something privately. If he is willing to get involved, tell him your predicament and he will make sure it is done right. But first, he should do another test to confirm she is actually pregnant. If you insist on going ahead, ensure it is done under the strictest of sanitary conditions, and keep an eye on her afterwards to prevent any complications.”

“Okay, doc. Thank you.”

“Sir…you need to choose your girlfriends carefully. 19 years is too young!”

He mumbles something unintelligible.

“And you need to use protection. Carry a condom around. You will protect yourself from scandal and protect Madam from catching something. These girls are not loyal.” I was speaking fast because I knew he had had an earful and would soon end the call.

“Thank you”

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I never heard from him again.

Now the moral of the story… Esau was so hungry that he sold his birthright for Jacob’s pottage. If I had gone out with this man, even if I didn’t have sex with him, I would not have the temerity to call him out.

We are in this world as a light to expose the deeds of darkness. Make your standards evident once people meet you and they will leave you alone.

There are men who cannot call out their friends who are beating their wives just because they are indebted to them. Stop borrowing money you cannot repay to impress people who do not care about you.

There are ladies who paid people to write their exams, now they can’t raise their heads when people who know you were an arts student wonder how you ended up an Engineer.

Stop laughing at crude jokes in order to be politically correct. Even if you are not bold enough to speak against things, stand up and walk out. Psalm 1 talks about how blessed is the one who does not sit in the seat of scorners and mockers. You believe…who knows?

Making your stand known also protects you from undue pressure. I remember my husband telling me how a colleague at work was about to invite him to hang out with him in a club when another colleague interrupted and said “Leave him O! He doesn’t drink or hang out.” One day when the ribbing got too much, I told him to accept their invitation if he felt like it. He was such a bore at their outing cause while they were getting wasted he was worrying about the work he brought home and wishing he had his laptop. Suffice it to say they never invited him out  again.

You have the power.

JUST BE!

Cheers, Dr.N

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If you would like to chat send me an email @ drnsmusings@yahoo.com or find me on twitter @nenabekee

The Woman I Deserve 10

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I apologize for my long absence as I have been under the weather. Thanks for checking in on me.

Happy young businessman using digital tablet --- Image by © Sonja Pacho/Corbis
Happy young businessman using digital tablet — Image by © Sonja Pacho/Corbis

“How did it go?” Idara asked Toyosi.

She flung her shoes off and sank into a sofa before answering. “Don’t you trust me?”

Idara sat up, eager to hear the details. The laptop on which she had been editing pictures was abandoned on the table before her.

“Give me the gist.”

“By the way, I saw your husband on my way home,” Toyosi remarked.

Idara let out a long hiss. “Is that supposed to be a joke? You are beating about the bush because PA shunned you.”

“Shun ke?” She rose and turned her bum so that it was in her friend’s face. “Do you see any man rejecting this?”

Idara pushed her away with a laugh. “It’s not by bum or by cleavage but by revelation.”

“Exactly! The divine revelation I had today, even you will not believe it.”

“Tell me more.”

She sat again and began unbuttoning her jacket. “You know PA works with teenagers, right?”

“Yes, I have heard about it. PO’s wife has been planning to copy his idea for sometime but she is yet to find a capable hand to run the group as she is so busy with women.”

“I have officially begun a teen’s group in our church O!”

“Just like that?”

“Overnight! I called Sis. Remi to back me up. Make she no go fall my hand. She was happy as the lady who attempted to handle the group initially fell short of expectations,” Toyosi narrated.

Idara clapped her hands in delight. “How wonderful! Your idea is genius.”

“My dear, I had to think on the spot. That Ovie of a person just abandoned me on the parking lot. You can’t imagine how much I have spent on designer perfume for him.”

Idara made a hissing sound and snapped her fingers. “I thought he said he could arrange a meeting with PA for you.”

“That guy is a joke. Anyway, he has his uses. It was his phone call that enabled me get past the security.”

“So what’s next?”

“Off to google. I have to read up about the teen ministry and all that.”

“What is PA’s role in all this?”

“He has to mentor me, my sister.”

“I need that kind of mentoring O, Sister.” Idara rubbed her chest in jest and rolled her eyes.

Both ladies laughed as they hi-fived each other.

 

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Zina was working late when a message alert made her pick up her phone. She had largely ignored it all day but it was 8pm and she needed to cool off. The message was from Imaobong. It read, “I just noticed that you are not yet home. Kindly turn off that laptop and get into the car. Afang soup awaits.”

She laughed to herself as she replied. “I am suspecting you. I hope you did not invite any blind date as well.”

“No! I would never do that. I can’t be sure you are not wearing one black suit or the other. That would be a risk.”

“Wearing black is a risk?”

“Promising much and under-delivering is. I would have told the guy how hot you are only for you to show up dressed like a widow.”

Zina chuckled. “Get off my case. Black is beautiful.”

“Why do you labour so, whom the Lord has given rest? It’s time to go home. Sufficient unto the day are its troubles.”

“Okay. Alright. I am closing right away. Happy now?”

“Yipee! See u soon. Xoxo!”

Zina smiled at the smiley her friend inserted and inserted one of her own. She really could have closed earlier but there was no one to go home to. In Port Harcourt, she had often had her mother over, her father being late. Here, she had to return to an empty house, mocking her with its two bedrooms, large kitchen, study and balcony. She was given the house because it befitted her status as M.D but in truth, she would have been happier in a one-bedroom apartment. Her voice would not echo in the stillness and her loneliness would not be so amplified.

She called for her driver and asked him to meet her at the front. He lived very close to her house so she did not feel bad about working late. Besides, she gave him a tip whenever she felt she had been unfair even though his contract put him at her disposal for 24 hours, 5 days a week. This was a privilege reserved for her position as she was expected to be available for late meetings with executives and he was paid higher than his colleagues.

At home, she found a note taped to her door. Imaobong had accessed her flat with her spare key and deposited the food in the microwave. She silently blessed her. It would have been rude to call her up at that time of the night as she had a family to care for. Zina decided not to make eba since it was late. She would eat some of the soup and save the rest for later.

 

 

PA and Ovie were planning his meeting with the parents of Cybil who Amara had sent her nudes to. He had walked into the trap which they set up in her house and they were able to record him on video, threatening her. She had invited him over, assuring him that her parents were abroad. He was defiant when caught, insisting that he had done nothing wrong and that she was his girlfriend.

“Girls send their nudes to me all the time. I didn’t ask her for it and I never intended to publish it online,” he had said.

“She wants the pictures back,” PA had told him. “Hand them over and destroy any back-ups you have.”

He had laughed in PA’s face and stormed out. It took a lot of effort to stop her parents from manhandling the boy. As it was, her mother followed him out, cursing loudly with no care who heard.

“Return those pictures, anu mpama! Idiot! You think you will get away with this but God has exposed you! A small boy like you who should be concentrating on his studies; being stupid. God will judge you!”

Her husband had to beg her to come back into the house. They stood at their doorway and watched him saunter off, oblivious of the pain he was causing.

PA’s lawyer, Ebie, was present. He had given his counsel and they had already involved the police. It was the phone call from Ebie that made his parents wade into the matter. They had hired their own lawyer as well. As PA anticipated, they saw nothing wrong in their son’s actions. Over the phone, they abused Amara, calling her a loose girl who was trying to seduce their son. PA did not bother defending her. He simply asked for the nudes to be returned.

Cybil first claimed he had deleted them. PA then requested his phones and computers so a technician could verify his claims. He then stalled and claimed he saved them in his dropbox. The matter was spiraling out of control. Amara was under pressure in school as she could not change schools in the middle of the term. He had spread rumors about her and conscripted his followers to taunt her whenever the teachers were not watching. Notes were left on her desk with obscenities whose writers were never traceable. PA suspected the teachers were sympathetic to Cybil since it could be argued that she could have simply refused to send the nudes.

Shortly, Ama let in Cybil, his parents and his lawyer. PA greeted them cordially and offered them refreshments which they declined. They sat on the sofas in his lounge.

“Good evening ladies and gentlemen,” Ebie began. “I believe we know the issue at hand. I would like us to introduce ourselves and then we’ll take it from there.”

Introductions were made with no particular enthusiasm. Both lawyers knew each other, so they shook hands cordially. Ovie sat in a corner, eyeing Cybil and his family. The thoughts going through his mind were uncharitable to say the least. He could see the boy was indulged; wearing Gucci trainers that even he could not afford and slouching in his sofa with a scowl on his otherwise handsome face.

Money-miss road!

PA interrupted his thoughts by speaking next.

“We have been asked by Amara and her parents to handle this matter because emotions tend to run high when all the parties involved are present. Besides, they trust our judgement.”

“Loose girl!” Cybil’s mom muttered under her breath.

“Madam, kindly refrain from any abusive language. This behavior is the very reason we felt it was unwise to invite her. She is not guiltier than your son.”

“My son is innocent!” she protested.

“Then let him release the pictures to us!” Ebie said.

Their lawyer, Ogwa interrupted the exchange. “We asked him not to because you have a video that implicates him. You also have to release it to us. Also, we are not happy that his parents were not approached directly. Rather, you set a trap for my client. That was very low.”

“Considering their behavior since they heard of their son’s actions, I think we did the right thing,” Ebie countered testily.

“Is that a supposed to be a veiled insult?” Cybil’s father roared.

“Calm down, everyone.” PA raised his hands to appeal for calm. “The two lawyers will make their recommendations and we will go with what they say. Ebie, what do you propose?”

“Cybil should transfer the pictures to me right now and then sign that he has held back no copies and if he is found to have released any into the public domain, he is liable for prosecution,” Ebie said.

“He will delete the stupid pictures. They were unsolicited and he has no use for them,” his mom snapped.

“Our video proves otherwise. He was trying to coerce her to have sex with him. Would you like to see it?” Ebie asked.

“Nonsense!” his dad spat.

“We want the video before he transfers any picture and you also have to sign that the video will be destroyed and never used against him,” Ogwa demanded.

“Fair enough,” PA nodded.

A laptop was brought forward and all the parties came forward to observe the proceedings carefully. Ovie could not take his eyes off Cybil. He had shown no remorse at all and was probably already planning who his next victim would be. The school had tried to punish him but his lawyer threatened to sue since the school rules did not spell out that no one should receive nude pictures of fellow students. They were forced to back down.

Task completed, the guests rose to leave. Ama let them out and then came in to ask how everything went.

“Watch out for that boy,” PA said. “I will not be surprised to hear he has raped someone in the near future.”

“The boy is already using weed,” Ovie added.

“How did you know?”Ama wondered.

“My sis, it is not only women who have intuition. Don’t worry; you will soon hear how he ended.”

 

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The Woman I Deserve 8

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PA was on a lunch date with the teens from his church. It was a large group of about 48 children, male

Happy young businessman using digital tablet --- Image by © Sonja Pacho/Corbis
Happy young businessman using digital tablet — Image by © Sonja Pacho/Corbis

 

and female. They were all casually dressed, clutching ice cream cones and frozen yoghurt, according their preferences. About 10 of their teachers had come along to keep an eye on them. The venue was a park where a picnic had been set up. Sitting in groups according to their cliques, they chattered animatedly.

He knew them all by name. They loved him for this and for the access they had to his phones no matter what time of the day. He had of course taught them not to abuse the privilege. One young man who had called him up at 2am to complain that his parents would not let him stay up to see a movie had experienced the discipline PA meted out to offenders. He gave him an earful and assigned him to wash the toilets every Sunday morning for three weeks. That was the alternative to his phone being seized or being cut off from the group with special access him. His parents were surprised at how eagerly he accepted the punishment and that he even apologized in writing to the pastor. Many more parents signed on their errant teens to the group, including non-church members.

They were now so many that the lunch dates had to be planned in batches. PA genuinely loved them and considered the time he gave them well worth it. Their parents constantly brought reports of changes in their behavior and were full of gratitude. The lunch dates were for sharing issues, no holds-barred and receiving counsel in a judgement-free zone.

“So guys, gather around. I want your advice on something,” PA began after lunch. When he had their full attention, he continued. “A 14 year old falls in love with a Muslim man who is her neighbor and agrees to elope with him to his state to convert to Islam and marry him. If she was your friend and she confided in you, would you tell her parents before she ran away? Secondly, would you discourage her?”

There was silence, and then noise as everyone began to discuss the story.

“I’ll let you think about it before you reply but everyone must say something. If you are shy, send me a text.’

There was laughter.

“Amara, why are you silent? Come over here,” he said to one of them.

The girl in question rose from her position and walked over to him. He took her aside so that no one could overhear them.

“You have been very quiet today. That’s unlike you.”

“PA, I made a big mistake,” she whispered.

“Do you want to tell me about it or do I get Aunty Ama?”

His secretary Ama, usually came along as did any of the wives of his pastors who was available.

“No.” Amara shook her head.

“What is it?”

“There is this boy in my class, Cybil. He has my nude picture.”

PA had to hold the tree beside him to keep from staggering. He took a deep breath and counted to 10 before speaking.

“How bad is the picture?”

“I was wearing panties but no bra.” Her voice was wooden, strained with unshed tears.

“Did you show your face?”

“Yes.”

PA stifled a scream.

“Who else knows?”

“No one.”

“Why did you send it to him?”

She hid her face in the crook of her elbow. “He said he loved me and that I was the prettiest girl in the class. He said he needed to know if I was as beautiful without clothes. He said since I refused to have sex with him, he needed the nudes to masturbate with.”

“And now?”

“Now, he is threatening to release them online if I don’t have sex with him.”

PA scratched his head. He gazed at his mentee. She was in the gangly phase of puberty with an acne-ridden face that was most certainly not the prettiest in her class. “Do you want to have sex with him?” he asked.

“No!” she protested. “I hate him! If he loved me he would not try to force me to sleep with him. Besides, Stephanie told me he has slept with two girls in our school.”

“Stephanie is your BFF, I assume?”

She nodded.

“And she doesn’t know about the nudes?”

She shook her head.

“I need your permission to involve your parents.”

“No, PA, I don’t want them to know. My pop will kill me!”

“I have no choice. That is the only way to stop him. Amara, we will not try to confront him. With your parents’ consent, you will agree to meet with him. When he arrives, we will come in and ask him to surrender the nudes and call his parents. He will swear an affidavit not to ever use them in case he has copies or he will go to jail. We have to get him on tape, threatening you; else his parents will protect him from the long arm of the law.” PA was earnest, worried that her fear of her parents’ wrath might push her to make the wrong decision.

Amara was silent, considering her options. He saw that the larger group needed him; they were becoming loud and fidgety, so he placed a hand on her shoulder.

“Let’s pray.”

 

Ovie had met the girl of his dreams. After service that Sunday, he was dashing out to pick a document from PA’s car when he bumped into Imabong. He knew her from when he had facilitated a meeting between her and PA. She had needed his counsel about an issue.

“Good afternoon, Sis. Imabong. How is the family?” he asked after apologizing for the near accident.

“Very well, Ovie. Meet my friend Zina. Today is her first day in church.” She pushed the said friend who was standing slightly behind her, to the front.

Ovie, for the first time in his life, was speechless. He didn’t even realize his mouth was hanging open as he gaped at her. Imabong noted his reaction and smiled cunningly. She intended to get her friend hooked within weeks. He was a good catch but if he didn’t go for her, she knew he was connected to a number of eligible bachelors in the church,( being so close to PA and all), and could get Zina into the right circles.

“Zina is the M.D of Dataconsult. She just moved to Lagos and we are neighbours. Isn’t that awesome?” She smiled.

“Awesome,” Ovie mouthed, referring to her figure in a blue dress that fit her like a glove.

“Zina, meet Ovie, the senior Pastor’s personal assistant and very dear friend.”

Zina smiled as they shook hands.

“Could I get your card? I would love to discuss some IT needs we have in the church. You may have noticed our monitors failed to display the scripture PA quoted once or twice during the service.” He was thinking on his feet because he knew there was no other way he would get her number.

“Of course.” She handed it over, after getting it out of her purse.

“I hope you enjoyed the service,” he asked.

“I did, even though we were late because my former bestie here, took forever to do her make up.” She gave Imabong an evil look.

That one affected a pained expression. “Former bestie?”

“Yes, I have no love for latecomers,” she retorted.

“I have apologized. Next Sunday, I will be prompt.”

“Will there be a next Sunday?”

Ovie’s ears pricked. “Ah, Sister, you cannot hold it against all of us. I will come and pick you on Sunday, if Sis. Imabong will not be ready in time. Kindly pardon us.” He grinned cheekily.

“Won’t you be busy getting your pastor to church?” She raised an eyebrow.

“He will happily excuse me. Souls are very important to PA.”

“But I am not a soul in need of saving. That applies to an unbeliever you are trying to win over. I am…”

Imabong could see an argument brewing and wisely stepped in. “Ovie, I am sure you were rushing to somewhere. Don’t let us keep you.”

“That’s right. I’ll see you ladies. Thanks for the card, Zina and may I say that you look very beautiful in that dress. What is it, ASOS?” He held out a hand for a handshake.

Zina raised a brow. “You know your fashion.”

“I have a number of sisters who educate me on what’s in and what’s not. Have a great day.”

“Great meeting you…and thanks,” she replied.

Imabong smiled as she observed her watching his retreating back. “Ufan, I see you like what you see?”

“Ima, I see you are a matchmaker.” She turned to face her willy friend. “You made us stand here for almost 10 minutes, pretending to be making a call.”

“He always dashes out after the service. I don’t know what he goes to the car park to get but this was the best way to get his attention.” Imabong grinned.

“You are unbelievable!” Zina was astonished.

“My dear, faith without works is dead.” She chortled.

“Eh, eh! Is that how you met Felix?”

“That was years ago. Things were easier then. Men actually did the work of wooing women. Nowadays, they have been spoiled by the ladies of easy virtue.”

They had begun walking toward the nursery to meet her nanny who had gone to pick up the twins.

“My sister, you are right. I have decided to stay on my own. Must we marry to get to heaven? These men are too entitled these days!” Zina snapped her fingers.

“Would you pay for the cow if you got the milk for free every day?” Imabong inclined her head as she asked.

“No, I would not. And men are great negotiators. It has to be a great deal; else, they are not buying.”

“You have swum among the sharks for so long.”

“True. I know how they think, I can read their moves and I know how to control them. When I am at work, I am one of the boys. That was how I ascended so fast. I didn’t have any godfather. My parents are middle-class. I didn’t have any special connections. All I had was grit and the favor of God.”

Imabong laid a hand on her arm. “Did you ever have to fight off male attention?”

“No. Like I said, at work, I am one of the boys. I work harder than they do. I do my research. I put in more hours and I pray for angelic covering. No one has ever approached me for sexual favors. Once or twice, I was nearly passed over for promotions. All I had to do was threaten to quit. I have made myself such an asset that they would rather offend the powers that be, than let me go to a rival company.”

Imabong gave her a Hi-five. “That’s my girl. I wish I had met you earlier. I actually quit my job because of harassment. One oaf decided I was the apple of his eye and I knew it would get of hand if I stayed.” She sighed.

“I am sorry to hear that. Well, it worked out for good. You have a great business and with time, I think you will be making millions,” Zina said to cheer her friend up.

“Amen, Sis, Amen!”

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The Audition

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© Copyright 2015 Corbis Corporation

“But Jesus said, “Not everyone is MATURE enough to LIVE a married life. It requires a certain APTITUDE and GRACE. Marriage isn’t for everyone. Some, from birth seemingly, never give marriage a thought. Others never get asked – or accepted…. But if you are CAPABLE of growing into the largeness of marriage, do it.” Matt.19:11-12 (MSG).

When I wrote Adire, there was an avalanche of requests for the CV: The almighty CV one of the characters, Ekene kept talking about. I couldn’t work it into the story, so I let it go. Yesterday, I saw this mind-boggling Scripture, quoted above. Can you imagine Jesus saying marriage is not for everyone? So, who and who should not get married? Is it your destiny to keep attending friends’ weddings and never invite them to yours? Will you ever get your nosy aunts off your back? How do you get the girls you would prefer to marry to be interested in being more than friends? How do you stop your daughter from making the mistakes you made in choosing a partner?

I must warn that I am no marriage expert. I have only been married for 6 years and my husband is the first and only man I had a relationship with. Someone once told me I am not qualified to give advice because my heart has never been broken, I have never been dumped and I have never been a real part of the dating pool. I hear it’s tough out there. So many wolves in sheep clothing. Never fear, I turn 35 in 3 weeks, so I am not unsympathetic to the men and women out there searching for answers.

The reason I didn’t dive into the dating pool is that I had a very interesting childhood encounter that changed the way I think. At 10 or 11years I was due to go to boarding school and my mom said I should cut my long hair since she believed I would not be able to find anyone to plait it for me. I cried because the school permitted us to wear our hair long but she insisted. My dad would not hear of me going to the new-fangled barbers who used electric barbers. He sent me to his barber, an old man who kept the cartons of hair from his customers’ heads under his rickety tables. I don’t know why this man decided to put his hands down my clothes. For whatever reason, I did not stop him. I just kept wishing he would cut my hair so I could leave.

“Should I have left with half a hair cut? Shouted? Fought?” I did not know what to do and I felt no one would believe me if I said an old man tried to have sex with me. Eventually, he asked if he could go all the way. I shook my head, praying furiously for someone to walk in on us. No one did. Thankfully, he did not try to rape me. He charged me N5. I pleaded for him to accept N4. He refused. Just before I left, he called me back and gave me N1; probably to buy my silence. I ran home, throwing the coin into a puddle of water by the market. No one was home, so I got in the shower and srcubbed myself clean. Then, I knelt by the tub and promised God that if he would forgive me, I would not let anyone but my husband sleep with me.

A few years later, I was on holiday at my Uncle’s. His son was my favourite cousin, the darling of the house and the toast of the campus. I learned that he was the crush of every girl in the university he attended and he milked it. When he returned from lectures, he would tell me of all his adventures.

“Girls have fish brain,” he would say.

“How can you say that? I don’t have fish brain and your sisters are very intelligent, ” I retorted, indignant.

“You and my sisters are the exception. Okay, how can a boy tell you he loves you and you will just believe?”

“Why would a girl not believe that?”

“Is she stupid? How can someone fall in love with you just like that?” He would shake his head at the absurbity of it all and chuckle loudly.

A group of friends and him had the habit of driving out in a car and chatting up any girl they saw along the road. They would tell her how pretty she was and how they longed to take her out and ask her to go get her bag or something. Once she turned to leave they would burst into laughter. Hurt and astonished, she would turn to ask why they were laughing.

“Come on get out of here! Ugly thing! Who told you we wanted anything to do with you? ”

They would speed off, screeching their tyres, while she either railed at them or burst into tears. Don’t judge, we have all done things in our youth which we now regret. The point is that, I determined that I would never be a ‘fish brain’. In fact, I remember the day we went on a stroll and a girl walked past. He immediately lifted me in his arms and swung me around, calling out endearments. I laughed, thinking he was being his usual playful self. Later, he told me that the show was staged for that girl. She was someone he wanted to show that she wasn’t that special. I pitied her but, it was too late. The damage was done. She believed I was competition.

I had seen and heard enough. 2 years later, I got into the university. I decided that I wanted a husband, not a boyfriend. Yes, it didn’t matter that I would miss out on having someone to show off, gifts, love letter, etc. I did not want to be a fish brain. Those “October rush” guys made me laugh. I did not even give them 5 minutes because I suspected they wanted to laugh at me. Mba! Not I! Before they shared their manifesto, I already disqualified them. I was brutal because I was 18. I did not need any distractions. My goal was to finish medical school and then marry the man who had proven to me that he deserved my loyalty.

I have always been honest with God. I decided that he is the giver of good husbands so I made my life an audition. Whenever the Holy Spirit pointed out a flaw or defect in my character I would do my utmost to fix it because, I did not want God to change his mind about the kind of man he would give me. I wanted a premium man, a MAN not a boy who would be a prayer project for the rest of our marriage. There were times I said something and then I would remember that I was being examined; so I would repent and promise to do better. I devoted a % of my pocket money to books and when I read them I tried to change.

Back in the day, girls used to audition for great husbands. They would fetch water, farm and even clean for potential fathers-in-law. It was up to him to ask his son to marry her or not. God is the giver of all good gifts. I could not afford to audition for man because woe to he who puts his trust in man. If I move into a man’s house and give him wifely priviledges, how am I sure he is not laughing at me behind my back? I could not take that risk.

This article may seem directed at ladies but not so. As a man, you should be very concerned about the spiritual maturity of the lady you marry. Did you know that a study has found that women cheat more than men but just don’t get caught? Are you aware that social media is full of chat sites where lonely women catch fun? Would you like to pay school fees for children that are not yours?

My humble submission is that we have to be business-like about marriage. I kept reminding God that I was making the choices I was because I wanted to please him and so, he was responsible for the faithfulness of any son of his who he chose to hook me up with. When I met my husband, he had to convince me he had been living his life as an audition for God and for me. It was not an over night affair. That scipture said not everyone is mature enough to LIVE the married life. So one of my fave bloggers (warning: she can be raunchy but I love her anyway), http://www.thelmathinks.com, wrote about married bachelors. These are men whose wives never know their wherabouts. They even call the man’s friends to ask, “Have you seen my husband? Please tell him to call me” . Can you imagine that? Also, some wives fly to Dubai without infoming their husbands. All because they can afford to.

So, how do you hear from God regards marriage? The same way you should have been getting feedback concerning your audition, that’s how. How do you know he/she is the one? Is he/she also part of the audition? Is he/she mature enough, not to marry but to LIVE the married life? Does he/she have the APTITUDE (skill and intellect) and GRACE (divine enablement) for marriage? For e.g, married people tell someone where they are going. Single people can just take off to the moon.

Why are some good singles yet to marry? They are not ready, that’s the honest truth. You may accept it or not but age is not maturity. When you are ready, you will become far more unselfish than you could have ever dreamed possible. It will amaze you that someone else could actually come first. I stand to be corrected.

Are you already married? Kindly teach your children the business of marriage. It is a contract not to be entered into lightly. Be careful before you sign. Ask you lawyer (The Holy Spirit) to read the fine print first.

Happy new year muses. It’s a leap year. May your blessings come in leaps and bounds.

Cheers, Dr. N

(Should you wish to send me a confidential email, send it to drnsmusings@yahoo.com. Do click on the title to leave a comment)

Letter to Nanny 2

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© Copyright 2010 CorbisCorporation

 

 

If it seems too good to be true it probably is. You were such a blessing to us that after 3 months, we engaged a private tutor to teach you to read and write. Even spelling your name was a chore. I could not understand how a 21 year old could not read and write. You were so dilligent that you rarely needed tobe told what to do. In fact, I often had to scold you to stop cleaning and eat something. And the kids loved you.

 

Our bone of contention was the 1 weekend you had off every month. You claimed you spent it with a sister of yours in another state but I suspected this was not true. Someone called you each time you returned and you blushed and gushed over “him”, using endearments I had to memorize and ask someone who spoke your language to translate. Eventually, you opened up to me about him. It was the day he seized your purse and prevented you from returning on the right day. You told me you loved and wanted to marry him. Moreso, as you were told women are like flowers that bloom in the morning and wilt at night. Someone sold the lie to you that if you did not marry him, you would be left on the shelf.

 

I reasoned with you, I begged, I pleaded. I wanted you to spend 2 years with us because if you learned to read and write you could take O’levels as a private candidate and then update your employability. You see, Nanny, I did not want you to remain a Nanny for life. I dreamed of you owning a cleaning services company, or heading a franchise, for you are a good leader. My heart was broken when you left a few months ago to marry him. Notice he refused to meet us as requested. Did you say he promised to hire a tutor for you? What a laugh! People will say anything to fool you.

 

I ignored you for a while, answering coldly when you called to ask about the kids. Even when you called on E-boy’s birthday, I was surprised you remembered but I didn’t ask if you needed help. I heard it in your voice, I sensed your regret, I felt your pain but, it was not my business, I decided. You laid your bed and you would lie in it.

 

Today, you are back, cleaning my house every day and returning to him at night. What difference has he made in your life? He snatched you out , for what? You have no skills, no training, no education. He did not start a business for you. I heard you live in a wooden house in the slum. I dare not ask for I know you will say all is well.

 

Well, I hope he is worth it. I hope he still professes the love for that is all he has to give. Please, Nanny, look out for yourself. It’s a cold cruel world out there. Even in marriage, there is often extreme loneliness, sometimes leading to depression and suicidal thoughts. I know how many young mothers who have told me they felt like taking their lives because their husbands appeared so fulfilled in their careers while they felt stuck with the kids.

 

Look out for yourself, darling. It’s a cold, cold, world.

 

 

Cheers, Dr. N

 

 

 

Murder At St. Lucas Hospital 7

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Portrait of young woman on white background --- Image by © pinkypills/Corbis
Portrait of young woman on white background — Image by © pinkypills/Corbis

 

 

Chapter 5.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Veronica strode into her office where 4 policemen were waiting for her. 2 were plain-clothed. They glared at her as she entered.

“Good day, Officers. My name is Dr. Veronica Metu, the medical director. How may I help you?” she asked as she took her seat confidently.

“Good day, doc,” the most senior answered. “You kept us waiting.”

“I apologise about that but you do realise that my job requires that I keep the healthy waiting while saving the sickly?” she smiled.

“We have a complaint against you. You are aware of the death of one Edet Ebiowei?”

“I am… and you are yet to introduce yourself,” she raised a brow.

“Inspector Omotunde is my name. You have to accompany us to the station to answer to the charges against you.”

“What are the charges?”

“Murder.”

“Murder?”she exclaimed. “Who lodged the complaint? ”

“The father of the deceased.”

“Interesting! He never showed up while the boy was alive. Now that he is dead, he wants to make trouble. ”

“Is that why you killed the boy? To punish the father?”one of the men asked.

“Very good question. I like that premise. I saw a boy injured by a hit and run driver, brought him to my hospital, operated on him and treated him for 2 weeks free of charge, then, killed him to punish his father. That is what you are saying,” she sneered.

“We are not here to trade words. Just follow us to the station. You can speak all your grammar there,” Omotunde stated.

“I am not going anywhere without my lawyer. Barr. Obi Ihendu is on his way here. You will have to wait for him. If you cannot wait, you can leave and I will come to the station with him when he arrives.”

“What did she say?” one of the men asked.

“Do you have a warrant?” Veronica asked.

“Yes, we do,” Omotunde held it out for her.

She accepted it and read it slowly, willing her racing heart to be calm. Her phone rang. She answered it.

“Doc, how far?” Barr. Obi asked.

“They have a warrant and the charge is murder.”

“Let me speak to the most senior in rank.”

She held out the phone to Omotunde. “Barr. Obi for you.”

“Good day, Officer. Which station are you from?” Barr. Obi asked when he took the phone.

“Ikeja main.”

“Could you tell me the name of your D.P.O?”

“That is not my responsibility. Tell your client to follow us quietly else we will have to use force. I am sure she would not like her patients to see her in handcuffs.”

“Handcuffs? There is no need for that. She is not a criminal. That lady is a doctor.”

“So what? Murder is a serious offence and I am sure you know it is not bailable.”

“Let us be reasonable. You and I know she had no reason to kill her own patient. She was not even in the hospital the day it happened.”

“She can defend herself in court. Ask her to co-operate,” Omotunde raised his voice irritably.

“Okay, I will ask her to follow you, if you promise to treat her with respect. No handcuffs, please.”

Omotunde paused for effect before agreeing. He returned the phone to Veronica.

“Doc, go with them. I will head for the station. It is closer to me than the hospital. Do not argue with them and do not write any statement. Just tell them I am coming. Do you hear?”he said.

Veronica nodded, numb. She could not believe she was about to be detained. Omotunde rose and motioned for her to do the same as she ended the call. She ignored him and took her phone to dial Dr. Korede’s number.

“Wetin this girl dey waste our time for*?”one of the men complained.

“Madam, we are not here to play, “Omotunde barked.

“I have to inform my staff where I am going,”she said. “I know you are doing your job. Do not forget that this is a hospital. If I leave the place unmanned, they may bring in your relative in critical condition. Who will treat him then?”

“God forbid that they should bring anybody I know here! Hospital of death!” one of the officers spat.

“Huh?” Veronica could not hide the pain in her voice.

“Just hurry up,” Omotunde retorted.

Veronica pulled herself together and sighed. She made the call. Dr. Korede knocked and entered her office. He was shocked to see the policemen.

“Please take care of everything in my absence. I am going to the station with them. You will need to ensure that Pa Sika is making urine. Also, let Anuli change his catheter before she leaves. I just sutured a cut in the ER. You can monitor the lady. She injured herself while cooking. I will call you later, thanks,” she said.

“I don’t understand. What is the problem, Officers? ” he asked.

“They have a warrant that says I have to answer for the death of Edet,” she replied.

“The little boy? Wow! This is most unexpected.”

“Madam, shall we go now? “Omotunde asked.

She nodded and rose. The men watched her as she took off her coat and hung it, then picked her bag and phone and preceeded them out. They followed her. Korede hung back. He watched from her window as they escorted her to their sedan car and drove away. It was really a shame that she had to be arrested but he did not pity her. He had served Dr. Nigel for 7 years on a modest salary. The least he could have done was to make him the M.D in the event of his death. If this was how he would get his due, so be it.

 

*************************************************************************************

 

Barr. Obi was calling everyone he knew, trying to find the phone number of the D.P.O of the staion they were taking Veronica to. When he got it, he dialled the number but it was switched off. He began to call other highly placed officers he knew to ask them to connect him with an insider. Finally, he was connected to an Inspector Okon who promised to ensure that Veronica would be treated with dignity. Barr. Obi’s greatest concern was that no over-zealous officer should try to manhandle her. He could not stand the thought.

Veronica arrived their station, having prayed quietly all the way. She had sent a text to Toyin to covet her prayers. Also, she sent messages to her parents and her boyfriend, Buchi. She tried to look braver than she felt as she alighted. This was going down in her diary as the worst day of her life. The men led her to the counter and gave her a seat behind it. Omotunde presented her with a sheet and a pen and asked her to write her statement. Wisely, she accepted it but only wrote her name and number on it. The men could not force her to write anything. They could only stand by making lewd jokes to which she shut her ears.

After a while, she heard them arguing in the adjoining room. She had been left alone with a female officer who barely spoke a word to her. It appeared there was a more senior officer reprimanding them for their actions. She began to pray that he would prevail.

“Madam, you don write the statement*? ” the female officer asked her.

She ignored her as she was busy declaring that angels were giving the officer on her side the upper hand. The raised voices in the other room suddenly hushed. She guessed she was about to hear her fate. 3 policemen entered. One face was new to her.

“Dr. Metu? ” he asked, extending a hand to her.

She shook his hand. “Good afternoon, sir,” she replied.

“I am Inspector Okon. Please pardon my men for their actions. I hope you were not embarrassed, ” he smiled.

“All in a day’s job, Inspector.”

“We actually have a complaint against you but we are going to release you on self-recognition as the owner of a hospital that is over 17 years old and has served the community well. Your solicitor called me and promised that you would make yourself available whenever we need you. Is it okay with you if we keep your passport and other documents? You cannot leave the country until this matter is sorted.”

“That’s fine by me.”

“Barr. Obi will provide a surety for you. Justice Akpevwe called me to also speak on your behalf. You have very good friends.”

“Well, my job brings me in contact with all sorts of people,” Veronica shrugged.

“Speaking of which, why is the autopsy not yet ready?”

“Red tape O, it is just red tape. There is no reason it is not ready,” she lamented.

“You have to facilitate it. These are your colleagues. Don’t they know what is at stake?”

“We actually thought the family was on the same page with us. This arrest came as a big surprise. I mean, this is a lady I just spoke to over the phone, on Monday. She did not let on that her baby daddy was planning this.”

“What did you call him? Baby daddy? Hahaha!” Inspector Okon laughed.

Inspector Omotunde had been standing by throughout the exchange in stony silence. He did not like the idea of releasing the ‘suspect’ without ‘egunje'( lining his pocket). It was unfortunate that Okon was senior to him and had the backing of a few big names. He had a plan though. By the time he and Sgt. Victor convinced a few superiors of the money to be made from arresting the doctor, she would be back in his custody. First, they would have to ensure that Okon was transferred to another post as soon as possible. He had become a cog in the wheel of their progress.

Inspector Okon moved Veronica to his office where she was given a comfortable seat to await her solicitor. He provided all the documents that they needed to release her and supervised the writing of her statement to ensure that she did not incriminate herself. It was 9pm before they were able to leave the station. Barr. Obi led her to his car and opened the door for her. It was the first time they were alone all day.

“Thank you sir for all you did for me today,” she began.

“I am the one who should thank you for not giving up on St. Lucas. You are keeping my friend’s legacy alive.”

“What are we going to do?”

“I think we should call the mother of the boy and find out what they want.”

“Like a bribe?”

“What more could they want than compensation? There was obviously no criminal negligence. It was the hospital that was footing his medical bill. These people are trying to make money.”

“You think so?”

“My dear, will locking you up bring him back to life? People are not as nice as you are.”

“I don’t just get why anyone would want to kill that boy. He was innocent. This is so confusing.”

“That is why I asked the medical examiner not to release the autopsy result yet. Imagine if they hear that he died of suffocation? Even the officers on our side will turn against us,” Barr. Obi stated.

“May God deliver me,”Veronica sighed.

“Amen,” Barr. Obi responded.

 

*************************************************************************************

Jeff was visiting Aunt Tammy whose baby was due for immunization that day. Her husband was his uncle who he had lived with in Lagos before he got his own apartment. It was her first baby after waiting for 7 years. That accounted for the attention she was receiving. When she called to say she had to go to the hospital and Uncle Kindness was tied up with work, he volunteered his services as a driver. Secretly, he rejoiced for it was his perfect opportunity to see Veronica again.

At the hospital, he left them in the care of the nurse and headed for Veronica’s office. He had to get her number by any means. A nurse ushered him in after informing Veronica that he wanted to make some enquiries.

“Good morning, sir,”she greeted. “How may I help you.”

He extended a hand and shook hers. “Good morning, doc. You look wonderful today.”

She frowned at his smiling face. “This guy is a serious hustler,” she thought. “Can’t he get a job already? What is wonderful about the white coat I am wearing? Hian! ”

Aloud she said thank you and pretended to be entering information into her desktop computer. He waited till she looked up.

“Is there something specific I can do for you?”

“Well…I came with my aunt for her baby’s routine vaccination. She needed a driver and I volunteered,” he smiled nervously.

“O, that was so kind of you. I think that may be a good way to fill in your days. She could even employ you full time.”

Jeff threw back his head and laughed, thinking she was kidding. “I’m sure she has far better hopes for my future…”

“Is there anything wrong in honest labour? “she asked,irritated..

“O, no, of course not,” he was confused.

“Thanks for checking on me. I have to get some work done,” she rose.

“Ummm…Is it okay if I get your number? I mean, it’s nice to be able to call your doctor, don’t you think?”he inclined his head charmingly.

“Nice try,” she thought.

Aloud she said,”You are not my patient, sir. I only give my official number to my patients.”

“I actually want your private number,”he persisted.

“You don’t get it, do you?” she asked.

“Get what?”

They were interrupted by the ringing of her phone. She answered it. It was Buchi.

“Hey, honey. No, I don’t have any patients. We can talk. I have missed you,” she sat back as she spoke.

Jeff took that as his cue to leave.

 

*************************************************************************************

 

 

To be continued.

Please feel free to predict the outcome of this mystery. Click on the title to comment. Cheers, Dr. N

 

Murder At St. Lucas Hospital 6

Posted on

Portrait of young woman on white background --- Image by © pinkypills/Corbis
Portrait of young woman on white background — Image by © pinkypills/Corbis

 

Chapter 4

 

 

 

Jeff was going over the pictures of his ex-girlfriend, Ejiro.They first met in church during a meeting organized by the leaders of the youth fellowship to appoint a few of them to form a committee that would be charged with visiting members who had special needs. It had been observed that those who lost a loved one, or needed company at one social event or the other, often complained that they lacked brethren to go with them. They would be named Youth Hangout.

He had been a member of Mountaintop Church since he moved to Lagos and served in their technical department. People who saw him manning the cameras or carrying heavy equipment would not have believed he was a HR manager. But he was too humble to care. He never forgot where he came from or who it was who had lifted him from the pit of poverty. Ejiro and Jeff became fast friends. They were inseparable for months, attending weddings together, going to the beach, shopping, seeing movies: the entire church knew them and everyone was expecting to hear of their engagement.

1 year later, Jeff proposed. It was during a visit to a park in Abuja. He had enlisted her friends and family to surprise her. She was ecstatic as he slipped the diamond ring over her finger. They began to plan their wedding for the later part of that year. Jeff scrolled over her pictures which he still had in his phone 1 year after their break-up. She was tall, slightly taller than he was, fair and slender, with striking features that never failed to earn her a 2nd glance wherever she went. He was immensely proud of her. She made him feel lucky. He, Jeff, the local campus photographer, the orphan; engaged to such a princess, a lawyer working in a multinational company? It had to be a miracle.

1 month after their engagement, they went to Ghana together to attend a wedding. Jeff booked two rooms that were opposite each other. Ejiro did not know of this arrangement till they arrived Ghana. She was livid.

“What is really going on? Are you avoiding me or you are hiding something? ,” she asked in the taxi.

“Nothing is wrong! What could I be hiding?,” he was surprised.

“Ever since we got engaged, you have not given me so much as a kiss. Now that we have the perfect opportunity to discover one another, you booked different rooms for us! Are you for real?,” she asked not caring that the cab driver could hear them. ”

I told you how I feel about honouring God with our bodies from the day we met,” he defended.

“Yeah, I feel the same way. The same God said we should not go into anything without being sure. How will we know if we are compatible?,” she questioned, crossing her arms across her chest.

“I can’t believe you are saying this.”

“Saying what? I have no intention of taking a blind leap. We will soon be married and I believe no one expects us not to be together.”

” I love you, honey. Can we not argue in front of everyone? ,” he cajoled.

She turned away from him with a humph. The wedding was a disaster as she refused to say a word to him. When they returned to the resort, he walked her to her room and tried to give her a hug but she pushed him away. He returned to his room in torment.

“Lord,” he prayed. “Should I go and beg her?”

“No,” he heard. “If you go to her, you will not be able to say No. Ask her to meet you outside.”

He sent her a text asking her to meet him in the garden of the resort. While he waited, he prayed. He had not told her he was a virgin because he never saw it as a big deal. It didn’t matter to him if the girl he married was a virgin or not. All he cared about was that she had practiced abstinence after giving her life to Christ. He believed in the God of a second chance. Ejiro had told him that she had been celibate for the 2 years she had been a believer. That was enough for him.

He watched her approach him, drawing stares from 2 men who were lounging by the pool. Rising, he held out a hand to claim ownership. She leaned in for a hug. He guided her to a stone bench and told her his conversion story. She listened silently.

“I love you so much, darling,” he said at the end. “Please, understand how much you mean to me.”

She sighed as she held his hands. “You mean you are a virgin? At 31?” she asked, incredulous.

“Yes, Is that strange?” he wondered.

“No, I think it is great. It’s just not for me,” she said.

“What do you mean?” he asked, frowning.

“I cannot marry a virgin. I don’t think it is possible for a ‘normal’ man to see a woman and not be moved. Let me not get into what I will regret.” As she spoke, she released her hands from his grasp and averted her gazed.

He was pained. “Are you implying that something is wrong with me? I am very much okay,” he defended.

“Please, don’t misunderstand me. I applaud your self-control. God will give you a girl who deserves you. As for me, I need a little more experience. ”

“What does that mean? You were once a virgin, were you not? Can’t we learn together?”

“No O! Please, I don’t want stories that touch the heart. Let us end it here. No one has to know. I will just say we found out we were not compatible. ”

Jeff rose. “Ejiro, I thank you for being honest with me. Have a great life.”

She also rose and scratched her head. “Ummm, yeah, take care.”

Jeff watched her walk away. It took all his ego not to go after her. She was the woman of his dreams. He debated lifting her in his arms, carrying her to his room, pinning her to the bed, and showing her exactly how much of a man he was. Then he felt a calm descend over him. He could not describe it. It was like ice cream in a hot desert. Suddenly, he did not feel the need to prove himself anymore. He did not need to bask in the glow of her adulation. He did not need her to validate his existence: Not anymore.

Ejiro’s pictures had remained in his phone despite their break-up. Now that he realised he was spending far too much time thinking about Veronica, he decided to do something about them. God had been dealing with him about cutting off totally. He had stopped calling her and cut off from her social media accounts though they remained civil in church. However, just as the Israelite kings often left the high places in Israel, he had clung to her pictures.

That same calm that came over him in the garden when tears were stinging his eyelids descended on him again. He was lying on his bed, holding his phone in his hands. Praying in the spirit, he began to delete all her pictures. It was like getting rid of an over-grown beard. He felt new, lighter, refreshed. A smile stretched out his lips. Maybe, God wanted him to try again. Heaven knew he had avoided women like a plague but today, he felt like trying again; casting in his net for 1 last haul.

 

*************************************************************************************

 

Perez and Abel were hanging out at a bar. It was 11am but they were already high on drugs and alcohol. They were alone. It was a bar that belonged to a friend so they were allowed in though it was not yet officially open. They were bored at home and had decided to get wasted.

“What did that lawyer say about our chances of getting dad’s will overturned?” Abel asked.

“He is optimistic but he is costing us so much. I think we may have to sell more of the stuff at home. We are running out of cash,” Perez replied groggily.

“I wish we could just sell that house, man…”

“Yeah, mate. Lots of cash tied up there. You know, I got a script that I think will make a great movie”

“What’s it about?”

“This tough dude who just goes ballistic when a guy breaks into his home and kidnaps his baby. He rescues her after bashing in the bad guy’s head!”

“That’s what I’m talking about,”Abel exclaimed and slapped his thigh.

“Yeah! Some serious kung fu moves there too.”

“When does filming start?”

“Money, mate, money is the issue! How do I pay for stuff when that little girl is sitting on our inheritance? ”

“Even if we took over the hospital today, we would have to sell it to raise that kind of money. Running it will only gulp more money cause that girl has run in down.”

“In 2 months?”

“Yeah. Kasarachi told me she doesn’t know what she is doing. I don’t think the staff believe in her. Patients often refuse to see her.”

“Who’s Kasarachi? ”

“That nurse…”

“The one who gave you sexual healing? “Perez laughed as he slapped his brother’s shoulder.

“She has mad talents, mate. And they are not medical.”

“I tell you. Empty upstairs, gifted in every other way,” Perez agreed.

“And how would you know that? You have not been…”

“She sent me her nudes”

“Whaaaaaat! You are a bloody liar. How did she get your number?” Abel was bristling with fury.

“See for yourself.” He handed his brother his phone.

Abel took it and looked at the page that was opened for him. His eyes widened at pictures of an unclothed Kasarachi in various poses. The pictures had been sent over the course of the week that he had spent chatting with her via text. He could not believe his eyes.

“Forget her, mate. She is not worth it. Let’s call that guy that bought the Prado SUV. Maybe he can find a buyer for some of the other stuff. We need money fast.”

Abel was silent for a while before nodding. No woman had ever come between them. No woman ever would.

 

*************************************************************************************

 

Veronica was in the emergency room attending to a patient when Nurse Anuli came in.

“Doctor, some policemen are in your office. They said they came to arrest you,” she whispered so the patient would not hear.

Veronica’s felt like her heart would drop into her stomach. She could not concentrate.

“My God!”she exclaimed.

“Let me finish up while you go and see them. Don’t worry, God is in control.”

Veronica stumbled from the room to the hallway, already feeling the sting of tears on her eyelids. How could she handle the police? This was more than she had bargained for. Nothing in her medical training had prepared her for a life behind bars. What would become of her if her licence was revoked? She had dreamed of being a doctor all her life. It was all she knew to do and all she wanted to do.

Matron Ngwanu came across her standing in the hallway. She was a tall, overweight, woman in her 50s, who believed she was better than everyone else and made sure they knew it.

“Doc,” she mocked. “Why are you here? The police are waiting for you. I think you should go with them so they don’t disturb the patients. Dr. Korede and I can manage the hospital.”

Veronica looked at her angrily. She opened her mouth to say something rude but shut it when she felt a nudge from within.

“Are you okay?” Matron Ngwanu asked again.

Veronica ignored her and turned away. She headed for the restroom. Once she was sure she was alone, she pulled out her phone and called Barr. Obi.

“Sir, I just heard that policemen are in my office to arrest me. What do I do?”

“What station are they from? Do they have a warrant? What is the charge?”

“I have not spoken to them. Right now, I am hiding in the toilet.”

“Go to them. Stall them, that you won’t go anywhere without your lawyer. Blow hot air, say you have a critical patient. Whatever it takes, delay them till I get there. I will do my best to meet you in 1 hour.”

“1 hour! I doubt I can stall them for that long,” Veronica cried.

“Just do your best.”

 

Veronica ended the call and knelt down in the bathroom.

“Heavenly father, I have served you with clean hands all the years I have known you. Now, I am faced with a giant of a problem that is bigger than me. If I could trust the legal system, I would not come to you but you know how things work in Nigeria. Father, deliver me from those that are stronger than me. Give me courage. I am so afraid. Make me bold. Let my appearance be larger than my frame. Silence my accusers and give me victory. Above all, let not my good work of trying to save that boy turn to my downfall. I know you have sent angels to guard me. Thank you”

 

Suddenly, she felt as bold as a lion. Rising, she rinsed her face with water, dried it with a paper napkin, straightened her clothes, and fixed her hair. Facing her reflection in the mirror, she smiled.

“No temptation has seized me but that which is common to ladies with my kind of abilities. God has provided a way of escape so I will be observant so as not to miss it. It must end in praise,” she declared.

Then she turned to the door, opened it and stepped out. *************************************************************************************

God Knows Weruche’s Heart (A short story)

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Woman in large sunglasses posing in studio

“That usher, the dark one with froggy eyes, I gave it to her today, meeeen!,” Weruche boasted to her friend Amina.

They were heading out of church after the Sunday service. Amina served in the children’s department. Both ladies usually shared a cab home as they lived on the same street. Weruche was the tall, shapely, dark beauty who felt the whole world should benefit from her looks. Her outfit of the day was a red mini skirt, a navy blue blouse that revealed some cleavage, and six inch high navy pumps. Add to that her wild, wavy, blonde weave, and red lipstick and you had a siren.

“What happened? ,” Amina asked her.

“Imagine O! That I should not sit by the aisle. Why? Just check out my swag, now,” she replied.

“So what did you say to her?”

“I pushed her aside and sat there. She called the head usher. That one already knows me. He just told her to leave me alone”

“Hmmm”

“For goodness sake, this is a pentecostal church. Is it not for liberty that we all left the churches we grew up in? Abeg!,” she made a hissing sound and waved a hand dismissively.

“The girl would not have heard anything they preached today,” Amina murmured.

“That is her business. My mind is free of any condemnation. This is my father’s house and he understands me. Did Pastor send her?” Weruche was gesticulating as she spoke.

“Well…..”

“I was singing and dancing like no man’s business. And today’s praise was on point. That guy in the choir, I just like him”

“Is it Bro. Gbenro?”

“I think that is his name. One of these days, I have to get his number”, she mused, rubbing her chin.

“Hian! For what?,”

Amina exclaimed.

“He can teach me to sing now,” Weruche protested.

“Wallahi, don’t take your boobs anywhere near that man of God O!” Amina pushed her playfully.

Weruche laughed and tugged at her top so that it exposed even more than it had before.

“Is it my fault that I am a double D?,” she winked.

“You would be surprised that they have clothes that fit your bust in the market,” Amina mocked her.

Weruche laughed again. “Don’t be a sour puss. All fingers are not equal.”

She took a disparaging glance at Amina’s smaller figure covered in a blue gown that did her justice but was not revealing.

Amina also looked at herself.

“What does that mean?,” she asked.

Weruche rolled her eyes and waved a hand at a taxi that drew up just then.

“Palace way?,” she asked the driver.

“N3000,” the driver replied.

“How can?,” Amina protested.

Weruche motioned for her to be silent. Leaning forward provocatively, she let him have an eyefull.

“Oga, abeg, we be student. Help us. We only have N1500,” she purred.

The man stared helplessly.

“Come in, come in! I like helping students. Enter!”

She turned and winked at her friend who was shaking her head. As they turned to use the only good door on the other side of the cab, she whispered into Amina’s ears.

“You see favour? God is truly faithful.”

THE   END

Congratulations to Nigeria for successfully conducting the elections. We thank God for peace.

Cheers, Dr. N

Letter to my Nanny.

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I realize the header of this post might distract some people from reading it but, that’s just the title I came up with. Recently, I employed a 21 year old who I will here after refer to as “Nanny”. She is paid a salary to live with us and assist me with domestic chores. To sweeten the deal, we promised an increase in her salary after 6 months. Also, we said we would consider hiring a tutor to prepare her for O’levels (WAEC exam), since she stopped school in SS 1.

Few weeks after she moved in, she confided in me that our security man (gate man), had asked her out shortly after she got the job. I warned her that she was earning more than he was and I didn’t see what she needed his “love” for. It didn’t stop there, more and more “brats” kept proposing to her. The question on your mind is “Is she that beautiful? “. Well, when has that ever stopped any man?

© Copyright 2013 CorbisCorporation

I know that a number of singles are reading. This one is for you. These are secrets every married woman wishes she could tell you. You have the right to ignore it. Just admit that you are doing so. One night, we were watching a local movie. She was so absorbed in it that I let it run to the end though I was itching to change the channel. We started discussing the moral of the story.

“Ma, they said if you don’t marry early, you won’t see any man later in life”, She quipped.

“How early is early?”

“Ehhhhhh….. ”

“Nanny, it seems someone proposed to you?”

“Well…There’s this guy. He was so angry when he found out I am a domestic worker. I lied to him that I do something that allows me go to work and close at 5pm. That is why he seized my purse the last time I visited him”

“He seized your purse?”

“Yes, because I did what was wrong”

“You are only a girlfriend and he is seizing your purse. When you marry him, he will slap your face!”

My husband who has been pretending to be working on his laptop can’t help but pitch in. “Who is he? What does he do?”

“He is X. He works where they fry chicken”

“A fast food joint? Is he the manager or door man?”, I ask.

“I don’t know”, she frowns. “He said I should quit this job and move in with him. That he will send me to school”

“Which school? He can’t afford to feed you. How do you think he can pay for your education. Do you know what it costs? Is he educated himself?”, my husband asks.

“He has a diploma in education”

“Really? Are you sure? Sounds fishy” he mutters. “I am a man and I will tell you for free that he will tell you anything to get you in his bed. You had better look before you leap”.

I launch into a long counselling session of almost 4 hours. At the end, I fear that my efforts were wasted. Why? She is afraid that if she misses this opportunity, she may remain single for life. That is why I am letting you read my letter to her. I know you are smarter and more privileged but, you have the same fear. The fear of dying alone.

The bible says, “He came to deliver those who all their lives were subject to death through the fear of death” Not only do you attract to yourself what you fear, you reduce the quality of your life. There are so many books on marriage and so many teachings. What to look out for and so on. One thing I want to emphasize is this.

Marriage is a partnership between 2 citizens of God’s kingdom, in order to advance his purpose on earth. His purpose is to tell men of Jesus, harvest them into his kingdom and stop the work of the devil. Read that again. The purpose of marriage is not sex (and sex is awesome), not finance, not societal recognition, not rings, honeymoons and what not.

If you believe that God is our commander in chief, this will not be a hard saying. Jesus sent the disciples out in twos and so he sends us. Therefore, in business, what are the characteristics of partnerships? Think about it. Marriage is an institution. It is like a limited liability company. God is the Chairman, the husband the CEO, and the wife is the MD. Do you want a CEO, who hates the chairman, does not even qualify to be a CEO, or has no respect for the office of the MD?

Nanny, you get the job of MD after you audition for the chairman, not the CEO. You answer to God, not your husband. If he interviews you and employs you, then he assigns you to the CEO that will appreciate you. Submission becomes a joy, not a drag. Also note that if it is God who employed you, your CEO, does not have the power to fire you. In fact, you can report him to God because you are a privileged employee, not a foot mat. When you are business-like, you get a better deal.

Dear Nanny, men are often cold and calculating. Nothing they do is accidental. He bumped into you on the road? Are you sure he has not been trailing you for weeks? You have to strip the emotions away. How much can he put up with? Will he take care of you? Where is he going that he wants you to ride along? Will your children ask you why you married him? Those character traits you are making excuses for, how long will you continue?

Dear Muse, I spoke about a resume to write when you are ready to be married. I shied away from saying more cause I felt it was a hard saying. Asking you to stop auditioning for men, but to concentrate your efforts on convincing God that you are the one for the job. I hope men know it applies to them to? God took into consideration Joseph before picking Mary. If he was a drunkard or thief, He would have moved on.

How do we audition for God? By obeying Him! When I was single, I used to tell God “You know how loyal I am, you will not assign me to where my loyalty will cause my death”

Will every good woman get a good man just by being good? NO! Beyond refining your character, you have to say No to any pretenders. They see how awesome you are and want to truncate the purpose of God. Not only do you end up unhappy, people observing your marriage end up discouraged. Why are people on every blog complaining that they are afraid that all marriages are unhappy? Because you and I were so afraid of ending up alone that we let ourselves enter partnerships that profess no loyalty to God’s kingdom.

I hope I have not offended but encouraged you. Subsequently, I will offer my take on what to do if you’ve been married for a while and there are issues. Today I want a new crop of Christian marriages that attract young people. So many are putting off commitment for fear of divorce. Let’s break the cycle. Marriage is beautiful. It is a lot of hardwork but our God is a generous employer. He gives the best of benefits.
Do check out http://www.naijahusband.com and http://www.inthemidstofher.com. Some great marriage advice there. Cheers

If you want to find me, try drnsmusings@yahoo.com or @nenabekee.

Adire 31

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Justin and Magnus were checking out a house for rent. Justin and his family were considering moving and both friends used the opportunity to catch up. The agent showing them the house, Tuoyo, was an old acquaintance.

“Guy, na so them carry my matter reach pastor ear O! You can’t believe it”, Magnus was narrating.

“Seriously? Women are complex, man. I don’t know why God created them”, Justin scratched his head.

“Ehe, the world should have only been populated with guys. How would you have been born?”, Tuoyo scoffed.

“God would have come up with something. Better still, he should have made them act like us. I mean, sometimes they just drive you nuts”, Justin insisted.

“Look at Ijeoma, telling Pastor that I’m stingy, and inconsiderate. Can you imagine that?”, Magnus asked, stepping over some unused tiles.

“Be careful, guy, there are so many sharp objects on the floor”, Tuoyo warned.

“Women dream of controlling our money. I think they wish we would work and surrender our pay check to them, so they can squander it on fashion”, Justin laughed.

The three men laughed.

“My wife has no idea how much I earn, man. I don’t intend to tell her, too. Not my bank details, investments, or other financial information”, Justin continued.

“I give Ijeoma everything I can afford. Those I can’t, I expect her to pay for by herself. After all, what a man can do…….”, Magnus said.

“T, how much is the rent here”, Justin asked.

“N2.5 million”

“It’s just 2 bedrooms”, Justin remarked, opening the wardrobes in the master bedroom to inspect.

“The area is high brow”, Tuoyo defended.

“Guy, wetin you need pool, gym, and tennis court for? Let’s go and inspect houses within your budget”, Magnus suggested.

“What does Regina have to say about all this?”, Justin asked

“She’s strong, men. We’re in this together”, he replied.

“You, sha, na wa. I mean, I’ve had a few affairs but, I don’t get emotionally involved. The drama is just too much. At the end of the day, the devil you know is better”, Justin shrugged.

“My wife is not a devil O!”, Tuoyo said.

“See you. She hasn’t showed her true colours”, Magnus mocked.

“He’s a learner, now. Is it not 2 years ago that you got married?”, Justin asked, slapping his shoulder.

“I’m not a saint man but I don’t do that ‘ish'”,he shrugged, locking the door as they exited the flat.

“We have heard”, Justin scoffed.

They were making their way down the stairs to Tuoyo’s car. Since they rejected the flat, he was going to take them to another.

“My brother in law infected my only sister with HPV”, Tuoyo explained.

“What’s that?”, Magnus asked.

“Human papilloma virus. It’s sexually transmitted. She had been putting up with his unfaithfulness for years, never complaining. He used to bribe her with cars and other luxurious gifts whenever she caught him red handed”

“You see? No disrespect to your sis but, women can be fish brained sha”, Justin laughed.

“She died of Cervical cancer 4 years ago”, Tuoyo stated sadly.

They paused in the parking lot, suddenly sober.

“I’m sorry, man”, Magnus placed a hand on his shoulder.

“I’m sorry. That was low of me”, Justin apologized.

“That day I got the phone call, I wanted to skin her husband alive”, his eyes were misty with tears as he stared into space. “My mom reminded me of her 4 children, who needed at least 1 parent alive. It’s so painful that he is alive while my sister is dead”

“So sad”, Magnus shook his head.

“I swore never to cheat on my wife. No woman deserves to go through what my sister did. I don’t care if she’s a bitch or a shrew, I ain’t putting her through that”, he concluded.

Magnus and Justin were silent, deep in thought, while he began to pat his pockets for his keys.

Chapter 17

Ndidi was conversing with Ekene on phone.

“I realize you find it difficult to believe me but, I am truly sorry about everything”, Ekene pleaded.

“You know how much I was pained by my sister’s marital issues. I even asked you to pray with me. Yet, you and your friend were the thorn in our sides, all the while”, she accused.

“I tried to convince her to walk away. There’s nothing I didn’t do. At a time, I threatened to expose her”

“Ehe, and what was the result?”

“Please, let this not come between us. Even if we can’t be friends, let’s part on peaceful terms”

“I’m not sure I can forgive you, Ekene. You stabbed me in the back”

“What can I do to make it right?”

“Nothing. I only called to tell you how I feel. We are not friends, you hear me? You don’t know me. We don’t talk to each other!” Ndidi ended the call angrily.

****************************************************

Magnus was summoned by the principal partners at his law firm. All week, there had been a review of the performance of all the solicitors in the firm. Subomi Olajide, Ikechi Echejile, and Layefa Spike, were seated around the conference table. Also present were their personal assistants, and Secretaries.

8 of the solicitors had been promoted to become partners over the years. This was the position Magnus had worked and prayed for for years. Though he had been promoted twice, he was still junior to at least 3 of those employed at the same time as he was. After the review, 1 person had been let go and 2 promoted. He desperately believed he would be among those promoted. Already, he had done a 3 day fast. He had also met Pastor Ekpiken to pray for him and sowed a seed by faith.

Ijeoma and he were undergoing the counselling sessions, weekly. Regina was also being counselled. He believed that with the promotion, he only had to complete the 3 months, then he could divorce Ijeoma and marry Regina. The pastors had informed them that after 3 months, if they were still adamant, they would release them to get a divorce. Presently, he and Ijeoma were co-tenants, not lovers. The children were couriers when he needed to pass a message to her. He noticed that they adjusted to the change, probably seeing it as a game. Besides, it was better than arguing before them. He knew they would love Regina. She was good with children and would be far more patient with them than Ijeoma who was fond of snapping at them for no reason.

“They’ll see you now”, the secretary announced.

He rose, buttoned his jacket and made for the conference room. Greeting each person with a handshake, he smiled confidently. Magnus knew he had this in the bag.

****************************************************

Ekene and Fred were supposed to meet at his hospital cafeteria for lunch. It had been a hectic week for him and he asked her to meet him there. Rather than let the week go without seeing her, he pleaded with her to join him. They ordered a healthy meal. Rather than criticize Ekene who was overweight when they met, Fred adopted the method of ordering nutritious low calorie meals when they ate together. He went jogging with her every morning he could spare and they enrolled in the same gym.

By praising her appearance constantly, he gave her the courage to work towards her target weight. Whenever she complained that she was too fat, he would highlight her best features. If she compared herself to Regina who was slim, he would pretend to be angry, until she said something flattering about herself. He taught her to speak well of her body and be grateful. Soon, excercising and eating healthy became a norm for her, rather than a burden.

Her clothes became loose, her double chin disappeared, her arms toned, and her abdomen trimmer. She was far from skinny but she was glowing with good health. Even Regina and Miriam were in awe.

“Kene m, I missed you all week”, Fred said, as they dug into their meal.

“I missed you too”, she sighed.

“They’re riding me hard. I can’t wait to become a consultant. It’s getting too much”, he complained.

“After your exam next month….”

“Yes, O! I can’t wait”, he rubbed his hands eagerly.

“Neither can I. I need more time with my man”, she purred.

“Ke udi dangerous voice di ihe a?(What kind of dangerous voice is that? “, he joked. “You want to put me in trouble? ”

“No O!”, she protested in false innocence. “That’s how I talk normally”

“Biko, don’t set me up” “Ha ha ha”, she laughed.

Reaching for her hand across the table, he narrowed his eyes, “Sometimes, I get tired of waiting. I wish I could rush you to the courthouse and into my bed”

“Am I not worth the wait?”, she teased.

“Very much so, darling. Very much so”, he caressed the hand he was holding.

“My mom can’t stop planning how to speed up things. Since she met you, her question is, what is holding things up. In her words, “O gini ji nkita onwu?” Ekene said.

They both laughed.

“I told her we are to start marriage counselling soon and it will last 4 months. Only then can we set a date”, Ekene continued.

“She must have screamed”, he interjected.

“You know her well. ‘Do you know you are heading to 35?’, she screamed. Either she forgets my age, or she just likes to exaggerate”

“Moms! They worry so much! ”

“On a serious note, what if we have issues with fertility? “, she asked, suddenly sober.

“I’m a doctor, honey. We will cross that bridge when we get to it. If it requires IVF, surrogacy, adoption, whatever, we are in it together. You already know how my folks feel about you. Don’t worry about it”, he squeezed her hand.

“I love you so much”, she smiled.

“I love you too, babe. You’re my sunshine”, he blew her a kiss and she giggled.

****************************************************

Ekene and Miriam had given account of their role in the matter the Pastors were handling. Pastor Ekpiken had called them for a second meeting, during which he and Adio advised them that they should have let the Director of Ushering know what was going on. They defended themselves that Regina initially gave the impression that it was a platonic relationship and they did not see it progressing to an affair. Having ascertained that they did not encourage their friend, they were let off the hook.

Miriam was therefore, very surprised, when she got a call from the church office, summoning her to Adio’s office. She arrived during her lunch break and was ushered into his office.

“Good day, Pastor Adio”, she greeted.

“Good day, Miriam. Thank you for coming”, he rose and gave her a hug.

She placed her bag on the floor and took the seat he offered her.

“I hope all is well? Pastor Ekpiken told me that we were off the hook”

“It’s not about Bro. Magnus and his wife”, Adio reassured her.

She let out a sigh of relief. It had been 2 months and she was honestly tired of the matter. She noticed that he was fidgety and anxious. Perhaps he needed a loan from her bank. She had had to arrange such for some of the pastors when they needed to finance major personal projects.

“I know this may come as a surprise to you” he began.

She smiled.

“I have not been able to get you off my mind since the last time we had a meeting with you”, he let out.

***************************************************************************************************************************************

TO BE CONTINUED.

Do leave your thoughts by clicking on the title. I know y’all noticed how long this post is? Lol. Cheers, Dr. N