sex
Our Exes Are Getting Married
Hello muses! This story is from my collection of conversation as prose. Remember to leave a comment, share, like and enjoy! Cheers,
Dr.N.
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Hannatu: Hello. Good evening.
Amaza: Hello.
Hannatu: My name is Hannatu.
Amaza: Okay.
Hannatu: I know you are wondering how I got your number but what I have to tell you will justify how I got your number.
Amaza: I’m listening
Hannatu: Our exes are getting married.
Amaza: Huh?
Hannatu: I have it on good authority that you dated Binta for 6 years.
Amaza: ***
Hannatu: I heard you both were an item and everyone thought you would get married.
Amaza: ***
Hannatu: I also heard you have never told anyone why you guys broke up but I know what happened.
Amaza: Who gave you my number?
Hannatu: That is irrelevant. What I want to know is whether you are going to let her waltz into the sunset with my ex-boyfriend after all she did to you.
Amaza: I’m over her.
Hannatu: That’s what you tell yourself but you are not and I have proof.
Amaza: ***
Hannatu: You have remained single for the 2 years since you broke up. Also you have not as much as gone on 1 date though your friends have tried to set you up on many occasions.
Your family tried to match make you with Senator Adima’s daughter but you flared up angrily.
Finally your social media pages are full of posts about heart-break and not trusting anybody.
Need I say more?
Amaza: Have we met?
Hannatu: No.
Amaza: How did you get all this information?
Hannatu: I do my research.
Amaza: Who is Binta marrying?
Hannatu: My ex-boyfriend. His name is Seun. He is a real estate agent…that’s how they met and that’s why I know what she did to you.
Amaza: Really?
Hannatu: Yes.
Have you heard the saying ‘Beware of the one your boyfriend says you shouldn’t worry about’?
Amaza: Yeah
Hannatu: He told me about a client who confided in him about how she hurt her ex and how she felt bad about it. I remember us shaking our heads. Three months later he tells me he is no longer interested in me. He asks me to move on because he has.
Amaza: Haba!
Hannatu: Move on? Is that how people move on?
He was my first.
He promised to love me forever.
I stole from my parents to help him set up his business. He said we would get married once he made enough money but the money was never enough.
Amaza: I’m so sorry.
Hannatu: I hate him!
He can’t treat me like trash and get away with it. No!
Amaza: Is he really getting away with it? Binta is a snake.
Hannatu: ***
Amaza: I don’t know what she told your ex but she couldn’t have given him the full story.
Hannatu: Didn’t she cheat on you?
Amaza: She did?
Hannatu: Didn’t she lie that she was going to study in UAE when she was living with her father’s friend in Abuja?
Amaza: True.
Hannatu: Also, I know she aborted a baby you begged her to keep and lied that she had a miscarriage.
Amaza: Hmm…
Hannatu: I ask again. Are you going to fold your hands and watch her have a society wedding that will be broadcast on social media? I can’t watch that happen!
Amaza: What did you have in mind?
Hannatu: Now you’re talking. You’re beginning to see things from my perspective.
People keep waiting for Karma but I chose to be Seun’s karma.
Amaza: I see.
Hannatu: I hear she is something of a freak and has no boundaries when it comes to sex.
Amaza: ***
Hannatu: Do you happen to have her nudes or a sex video perhaps?
We can blur your face but I know releasing it will destroy their wedding plans.
Seun may be forgiving but his parents are very conservative and he is a mummy’s boy. There’s no way he will go against their wishes.
Amaza: I do have a sex video of us both.
Hannatu: Now you’re talking!
Amaza: I even have something better. Years ago, someone tried to blackmail her with a video of her in a compromising position with a governor. I bought it off him. She thinks I destroyed it.
Hannatu: This is wonderful!
That is what I call 2 for the price of 1!
So how do we do this?
Amaza: ***
Hannatu: Amaza?
Amaza: Hannatu…I have planned 1000 ways to get back at Binta over the years but now I realize I am the one who should have walked away.
Hannatu: What does that mean?
I hear you met as teenagers. She took your love for granted!
Amaza: She did.
But I should not have told her it was okay to do that.
Love also means self-respect.
Hannatu: What are you saying?
Amaza: For years I plotted my revenge. I wanted to hurt her though I maintained a nonchalant attitude.
Hannatu: ***
Amaza: But leaking that video will not cure me of HIV!
Hannatu: HIV?
Amaza: Yes.
I got my results today. I am HIV-positive.
Hannatu: What!
Amaza: I was faithful to Binta and since we broke up I have remained celibate.
It was persistent fever that forced me to go to the hospital. They confirmed my fears.
Hannatu: Haba!
Amaza: I have bigger problems at hand than her wedding as you can see.
First I intend to let her know so she and Seun can get tested.
You should also get tested if he was cheating on her with you.
After that I will focus on my health and lifestyle. I know I can beat this!
Hannatu: HIV as in HIV AIDS?
Amaza: Yes.
Hannatu: Gaskia…Seun has finished me!
The End
WHEN MANNA STOPPED FALLING
Hello Muses,
I have been away for longer than I planned I know so instead of an apology I decided to write a short story just to say I love you and thanks for checking in on me.
Enjoy.
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The rain was not the reason for Nwakaego’s bad mood. She couldn’t blame it on the thunder and lightning. She liked neither but she had tolerated them for years. They were an inevitable part of living in Nigeria; known for high rainfall and unexpected weather changes. What she could not tolerate any longer was being broke constantly.
“I don’t understand,” she said to Bolanle. “I am a giver, I have served as a church worker for years, I have a great job and I try to live on a budget. Why am I always broke?”
“If you find the answer Ego let me know,” Bolanle replied. “The worst thing is this life of celibacy is not helping matters. How can you expect a guy you are not giving ‘honey’ to keep sending you money?”
“My dear it is not even safe. I want my dignity intact.”
“I agree.”
“What then do we do about this ‘brokeness’? If we can’t get a grip while single what will happen to us when we get married?”
“Ore…won’t the brother deliver us from hunger?”
“That is true. At least no one will say we are gold diggers. By then we don marry the guy. All our debt is his and all our liabilities as well.”
Both friends laughed. The sour mood was dispelled.
“When they will be chanting ‘all I have I give to you’ their assumption will be all their love.” Ego laughed and slapped her thigh.
“Money is a love language my dear.”
“I tell you!”
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Ego was on her way to the gate of the estate they lived in. She and Bolanle usually hitched a ride to work with a colleague who drove a blue Toyota sienna she had inherited from her late parents. Veno was the out-spoken, vivacious and adventurous one of the group. They were staff of Debonair Printing Services where Ego was a graphic artist, Bolanle an accountant and Veno a member of the sales team. Ego and Bolanle who had been friends from the university shared a one bed room flat while Veno lived a street away.
She took out her phone to call Bolanle who was still at home.
“Are you not done? She will soon be here.”
“If she gets there, please delay her. I had to do the number 2.”
“That’s just nasty!”
“Shuo…are you not the one that cooked beans last night? Fi mi le jare!”
“Who begged you to eat? You should have eaten bread. Please make it snappy.”
She ended the call and began to scroll through her instagram page. The picture she put up the night before was getting a lot of likes. Her face beamed in delight.
“Madam good morning O!” one of the security men hailed. “Na you we know O! Remember your boys never chop.”
“Good morning. God bless you.” She deftly ignored his plea for money. It was a game they played every morning and had become somewhat of a ritual.
“Aunty na you wey God wan use bless me na.”
“I know. As He blesses me I will also bless you. The thing is that you don’t wait for him to bless me first. You want me to manufacture the thing from nowhere.”
“No be from nowhere. Na from that your fine bag. As e big so…I know say better go dey.”
Ego laughed despite herself. “Boniface, you need to try your hand at stand-up comedy. You crack me up!”
“Crack ke? Abeg O! Make my fine aunty no crack. Just dey fine as you fine so.”
Ego shook her head and moved a distance away when he got distracted trying to open the gate for another tenant. She waved at the driver absent-minded as her thoughts were on his last statement. Her chocolate brown complexion, oval face and pointed nose may well qualify her to be called pretty but she wished she had Bolanle’s hour glass figure or Veno’s fair skin. She had never liked her figure because she was top heavy. Though she wore clothes that de-emphasized it, it often made her self-conscious.
Just as Veno pulled up, Bolanle showed up at the gate panting with the effort of walking so fast. They exchanged pleasantries and piled in, a mass of handbags, laptop bags, lunch bags and make up bags. They even had a bag for chargers, slippers and other odds and ends. As Veno had once commented, their bags were so many they could fool robbers into thinking they were transporting cash.
“Na die be that O!” she had said. “Because if them search us see say money no dey and the laptop sef na old model dem go just waste us.”
“God forbid!” Bolanle had said.
“We are under the blood biko!”
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“Why have we not been able to get Veno to join our church sef? Each time we go to church by bus I wonder if my Christianity is effective at all?” Bolanle was applying her make up in the ladies room.
Ego washed her hands before replying. “Your concern is not for her soul but for the convenience of rides in her car. Sister… attitude check needed.”
“God forgive me.” She leaned forward to check her teeth. “But Ego, how can we win her to Christ when it looks like she is doing better than we are?”
“How is she better than us?” Ego frowned.
“I didn’t say she is better than us but be honest, doesn’t it grate at you that she has a car, makes more money because of sales commissions, has a boo who buys her great stuff and still gets money from sugar daddies about town?”
Ego sighed and crossed her arms. “Last month I had to borrow money from her to buy aso ebi for Oga Ben’s daughter’s wedding. She didn’t say anything but the look she gave me was very loud.”
“See what I was saying? I haven’t paid for that aso ebi O! I am planning to lie that I have a family event on the same day. My debt is getting out of hand.” Bolanle shrugged.
“How much is it?”
“I am afraid to even say it. The vow I made for the orphan project in church cleaned me out last month. I am seriously broke.”
“This is getting out of hand!”Ego cried. “I thought that as we sow into the word of God, he will send people to bless us. All these testimonies of strangers giving people money, getting jobs you never applied for, winning lotteries and so on, are they lies? My own miracle is taking too long.”
“I don’t know what to believe any more. Give…I gave; Sow…I did; Work…I am working…Confess positively…I have been shouting ‘money come’ every day. The thing tire me!”
“Maybe God is testing us?” Ego wondered.
“When will this test end? I can’t remember a time I wasn’t broke and I have been a Christian for 10 years.”
“You sure say we no go dodge church today? That guest pastor that is coming is it not money he is coming to raise?”
“Abi? Let us go home and watch TV. God understands abeg.”
With that, they packed their make-up bags and made for the door.
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“Una no dey go church today?” Veno asked as she spotted the pair at the parking lot.
“Maybe some other day: I’m tired.” Ego yawned and stretched to convince her.
“I have work to do at home,” Bolanle added.
Veno snorted. “Una sure say Pastor no go vex? Anyway, I have a date so boo is picking me up. I just came to get my change of clothes.”
“Your guy is nice. He seems to have a lot of time for dates; I mean it’s Wednesday night,” Bolanle remarked.
“He has to be sharp before someone else swoops in!” Veno laughed as she lifted a bag from the back seat. “Do you ladies want to take my car to church? I will be spending the night at his. I can always pick it up tomorrow.”
They shared a glance before chorusing. “Yes of course!”
“Great! Please pray for me to have favor. I intend to ask him for my rent.”
“You will be favored in Jesus name,” Ego prayed.
“He will even double it!” Bolanle added.
“Amen!” Veno shifted her load to her left hand as she handed Ego the key. “By the time I finish with him tonight, he will hand over his ATM card!”
“I trust you!” Bolanle gave her a hi-five. “Take it easy please.”
“Later ladies…”
“Later…”
They watched her strut away bags in tow.
“Bolanle…”
“I know what you are going to say. I feel terrible as well.”
“Let us just go to church and beg God to forgive us. I feel so silly. See how we celebrated the wrong thing just because we needed a ride? This broke state must end today.” Ego slammed her hand on the car. “It is either God tells us what we need to do to make more money or we die there.”
“My dear…I agree with you. Desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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The music was moving, the ambience was heavenly, the message was rousing and the fellowship warm but Ego could not stop thinking about the fact that her account was over-drawn and she didn’t even have money to put in the offering basket. She had attended finance seminars and even tried investing in a few deals which had gone sour; it was perplexing why she never had enough at the end of every month.
“Sister Ego!”
She turned to see who was calling her. Bolanle was chatting with the head of her department.
“Even accountant is broke…” The voice calling her finally stopped before her and tapped her arm before she snapped out of her reverie.
“Good evening Sister Ego.”
It was Roland. He was in charge of the church’s press.
“Hi.” She let out a breath.
He was tall.
He was handsome.
He was rich.
He was godly.
He was single.
What more did a girl need?
“Hi. I really hoped you would be in church today. How are you?” Roland was saying.
“I’m fine. How are you?”
“I’m doing ok. So my fiancée’s dad is into charity…’
“He’s off the market! Ouch!”
“He sent me a text tonight that someone came to him with a proposal to sponsor a training program for some indigent kids who want to learn corel draw. You were the first name that popped into my mind.”
“Oh! What will it entail?”
“It covers 40 children from each public school in his local government area. I know it is something you have been doing. It’s rather urgent as he has to choose someone to run the program tonight. Could you forward a proposal and curriculum to my email in 30 minutes?”
Ego scratched her head. “I can come up with a proposal but the curriculum will take a few days.”
“Days? This guy is a politician. If you want their money you strike while the iron is hot else they will give it to someone they owe a favor. Besides he told me I had to send it tonight as a favor because I told him you are the best at what you do.”
“Thank you for mentioning my name but please beg him for me. I can take tomorrow off work and get it done.”
“I’ll try but I can’t make promises.”
“Please…beg him for me. I will do an excellent job.”
“Sister Ego, you told me months ago you were praying for a second source of income.”
“Yes O!”
“Do you mean that since that time you did not actually prepare for the miracle you have been waiting on? Did you register a business name?”
“Errrm…No.”
“Did you write a business plan?”
“No.”
“Where was the money supposed to come from? Are you one of those believers who thinks someone will walk up to them and say ‘God bless you. The Lord ministered unto me that I should sell my car and give you the money because thou art a faithful servant in his vineyard’?” Roland had his arms crossed, gaze fixed on her.
She squirmed. “Is there anything wrong with that?”
“I bet you also believed all the money you have been giving in church will come back to you in multiple folds?”
“Is that not what we are taught…Pressed down, shaken together and running over shall men give into your bosom?” She was defiant.
Roland shook his head, smiling gently. “How does money flow?”
“I wish I knew. I have been working hard hoping for raise to no avail. I wish I could get a better job.” She sucked her teeth.
“No matter what you are paid, if you don’t understand the language of money, the spirit of mammon and kingdom finance, you will always be broke.”
“Huh?”
“I learned the hard way so bear with me if I am very direct.” He motioned to a chair.
“Hey people!” Bolanle joined them. “Good evening.”
“Hi Sis!”
“Join us. Bro Roland was about to give me a lecture on money.”
“Instead of lecture you can epp us with cash…” Bolanle laughed, half-joking, half-serious.
“What I am giving you is better than cash. It will save you from Pentecostal frustration.”
“Pentecostal frustration…”
“Yeah…doing all the things the holy book says without seeing results but being too afraid to complain so that thunder will not fire your head.” Roland rolled his eyes.
The ladies burst into laughter.
“I didn’t know you had a sense of humor,” Bolanle said.
“He must have got it from his fiancée…” Ego cleared her throat with intention.
“Are you engaged?” Bolanle got the message and played along. “A big congratulations!”
“Thank you. I fell very lucky.”
“I can imagine.” Ego swallowed.
“So…what was it you were going to teach us?”
“I’ll be brief. Money flows in the direction of value. The more value you provide, the more money you attract. If you provide value to a few people, you create few channels for money and vice versa.”
“Okay.” Ego nodded.
“It doesn’t matter how much money I am giving away, if I don’t create new channels, there will be no pressed down running over nothing.”
“Huh?”
“You will keep giving offering and getting poorer unless you open up more channels.”
“I have a job as a graphic artist,” Ego interjected.
“I am an accountant.”
“Good. It’s good you have a salary so you can use it to fund your ideas. Your present income is a reflection of what value your boss places on your services. But in the spirit realm, your financial worth is a function of the value you place on yourself. And your value increases by how many people you serve.”
“Hmm…” Bolanle murmured.
“What did Jesus say, ‘He who wants to be the greatest must be the servant of all’. Today I asked Ego for a proposal and a curriculum to qualify for an opportunity to make millions but she was not ready.”
“You took me by surprise,” Ego protested.
“That’s it. You should have been expectant. You have seed in the ground. This talent you have should have already been in the market. You should have been training people even if for free but that would have given you a testimonial and you would have a curriculum you could send to me at the snap of your fingers.” He snapped his fingers in emphasis.
Bolanle nodded. “That’s true. I have been thinking of creating a budget app unique to Nigerian shopping patterns but finance has been a challenge.”
“Do you have the idea written? Have you developed a business plan? Who have you approached to sponsor it?”
She bit her lip. “It was just an idea.”
“No it wasn’t. It was a portal opened to you so that you can receive your harvest. Instead of running with it, you have been waiting for miracles…24 hour miracles.” Roland checked his watch. “I actually met my fiancée at a course I took in Lagos Business School. She was the facilitator. Her parents are wealthy but she has carved a niche for herself by building a company from scratch.”
“Rub it in…” Ego pinched Bolanle.
“Ladies I’ve got to run.” He rose. “Put your ideas to work. Serve as many people as you can. From the money you make, save some, give away some, invest some and spend the rest on yourself. Manna has stopped falling.”
“Thanks Roland.” Ego rose and shook his hand.
Bolanle reached for a hug. “I appreciate it.”
He waved as he left.
Ego punched her friend on the shoulder. “You had to get a hug. Didn’t you hear he is engaged?”
“My sis…leave that thing. So that girl wants to take the most eligible bachelor in this church just like that? Make I collect hug na if the full thing no go reach me.” She laughed.
“God will give us our own. Don’t worry,” Ego said.
“Yes O!”
“Let’s rush home so I can put together the proposal he asked for. Even if I lose this opportunity it won’t happen next time. I need to be ready so the next time an angel shows up I will not be found wanting.”
“Shebi you know say na angel God send so?”
“Yup! I know it alright!”
THE END
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Cheers,
Dr.N
(P.S. I may not put up something every week but you can always send me an email via drnsmusings@yahoo.com or on twitter @nenabekee).
Fall On My Sword 21-Finale
Chapter 10
Preye was seeing her last patient when a commotion outside got her attention. She asked him to excuse her and ran out to the gate to find that a crowd had gathered around a man who had hit a motorcycle rider. He was explaining that he was not at fault and that the rider had run a red light but the other commercial riders were not having any of it. She saw he was in danger of getting lynched and inserted herself in the fray.
“Can someone help me carry him into the hospital?” she shouted as she knelt to take his pulse.
He was a young man; lying on the road groaning in pain. She saw that he had a cut on his arm and a few bruises and concluded his injuries were mild. One of her nurses saw what she was doing and went back for a stretcher. Two of the onlookers assisted her staff to carry him inside. The car owner followed them, sweating visibly.
When the crowd saw that the fun was over, they dispersed. The bike of the patient was in bad shape so the gate man wheeled it to the front of the reception before locking the gate. By this time, Preye had donned her gloves and begun to examine the victim who had been laid on her couch. Her dental patient had also risen to watch the unfolding drama. She gave him an injection to relieve his pains and began to clean his cuts. Luckily none of them required stitches so she dressed them and asked her nurse to get him a change of clothes. All the while the driver of the car involved stood by watching her without saying a word.
He followed her to her office when she finished.
“How can I thank you?” he asked.
“I didn’t want them to set your car ablaze or worse beat you up. Those guys are aggressive,” she said.
He sank into a chair, his face in his hands.
Preye felt grief in her spirit. “There is something more. You lost a loved one this morning. Did you lose your mother?” she asked.
He looked up, surprised. “How did you know? She died yesterday after battling with Diabetic complications for months. I prayed, I pleaded, I begged God to heal her. Why didn’t he answer me? I have been serving him all my life.”
“The Spirit of God would have you know that He loves you and would never hurt you. Your mother told God she was ready to go.”
“Why must he take her? I needed her here.”
“What do you need that the Holy Spirit cannot do for you? He is reaching for you. Lay your head on his shoulder and allow him to comfort you.”
The man nodded still overcome with emotion.
“Let me give you space to talk with God. I think you both have a lot to discuss.” Preye rose and left her office to him.
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“Moses, do you mean you have lost all the money you borrowed to start business?” Nedu asked, incredulous.
“Every dime is gone!”
“Were you duped or what? I don’t understand it.”
“Someone Chibaby introduced me to gave me a contact in China who was supposed to ship in the equipment. He has turned off his phone now. I can’t reach him at his address. They said he moved out.”
“Chichi should be able to tell you where to find him. She knows him, right?”
“She said I should have done my due diligence; that she only introduced him to me and didn’t vouch for his integrity. Now everyone is blaming me. How do I face my investors, Nedu? I am done for!” Moses was panting as he spoke, his hands on his head.
They were in Nedu’s house. It was 5am. Nedu had been surprised when Moses knocked at his door that early on a Wednesday without calling first but had received him without hesitation. Now, he wondered if the case was not beyond him.
“What kind of equipment were you importing exactly? And I wonder why you never involved me? I would have told you how to go about it.”
“Chichi said I should keep it to myself because of haters.”
“Haters?”
“She said I needed to prove to you and all my friends that I am my own man and I can stand on my own. She said my friends see me as a weakling who is being fed by his wife and I need to challenge that impression.” Moses was sobbing by now.
Nedu shook his head sadly. “I wonder what gave her that impression. I have known you for far longer than her and I have never been a hater.”
“From the day she connected me to the man who invested the money she became ungovernable. She does whatever she likes and I am afraid to correct her. I thought when the deal pulls through I will become rich and finally have a voice in my own home but alas!”
“That means she simply set you up. I refuse to believe otherwise.”
“Nedu do you know she is a drug addict?”
“Isi gini? (what did you say?) Drug addict?” Nedu shrank back.
“She was doing drugs in secret but now she is so brazen. Even though she is pregnant, she still uses Indian hemp and cocaine.”
“Did you say she is pregnant?”
“She is a few weeks pregnant. What do I do? I am tired of this life. I feel like taking my own life.”
“Let’s start with the money. How much is it?”
“It is a total of N25 million.”
“Okay; you will get a lawyer and do an agreement with the investors as to a time frame within which to repay them.”
“Repay them? I cannot earn that kind of money from guitar lessons even in 50 years. I will have to sell 1 kidney to get the money.”
“It is just to get them off your back while we put the EFCC on the guy who stole the money. I have a contact there. We went to school together and he helped out my brother Obinna when he lost some money to a business partner.”
“Thank you so much! You don’t know what you have done for me. You are a friend indeed!” Moses clasped his hand in gratitude.
“Don’t thank me yet, Moses. You need to come clean. What is the true state of your relationship with God? Is He your ATM machine or your Father? You need to declare your stand so I can define my relationship with you. Sometimes I don’t know if I am dealing with a stark unbeliever or a baby Christian or a scoffer. You have been born again for over 10 years yet you still struggle to obey God. What gives?”
Moses looked at him ruefully. “I haven’t been serious with my Christian life, have I?”
“No you haven’t. Younger Christians than you are bearing the fruits of the spirit, manifesting the gifts of the Holy Spirit and taking territories. I think it is time for you to come up higher?”
“How do I do that?”
“You start by telling yourself the truth. Stop pretending to be so smart and tell yourself the truth. Next, open up to God on how you got to where you are and be ready to give up anything he asks you to.”
“Help me my brother,” Moses sank to his knees in anguish.
“Let me call my boys to man the shop. I sense we will have to spend the morning praying. As for Chichi, does her friend know she is pregnant?”
“I am not sure she knows. She has withdrawn from her over the past few months. I heard she quit her job and moved to a new apartment. She and that girl who is a dentist are living together.”
“That’s good. I believe God wants to use her to talk Chichi out of her drug habit; if for no other reason, for the health of your child.”
Moses burst into tears at this point so Nedu knelt beside him and began to pray in other tongues.
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Nedu and Moses went the next day to Preye and Didi’s house to talk to her. She had decided to share the rent with Preye instead of looking for another house and was now running a consultancy business from her living room. It had been 1 year since she broke up with Stan.
They had called to say they wanted to come over for a chat so the ladies were expecting them. Nedu had avoided direct contact with Didi as much as he could even though they saw each other in church often. It had almost cost him his sanity but he had concluded it was a test God was putting him through before introducing him to whoever would eventually become his wife.
As they talked with her while Preye made dinner, he tried to keep his eyes on the wall behind her but it was next to impossible. He thought she was really beautiful and it was punishment to hear how much she had progressed in her walk with God. It was evident she had changed the course of her life in obedience to God and even given Chichi space when she tried to drag her back into the life she fled. She broke down when she heard that Chichi was using hard drugs while pregnant.
“No, she can’t continue to do that!”
They waited in silence while she cried. Moses held her hand but Nedu was afraid that if he touched her his body would betray him so he crossed his arms and legs and sat as far from her as he could. When she dried her tears, she asked them if they would be willing to pray with her before she went to speak with Chichi.
“The bible says this kind goeth not out but by prayer and fasting. If you would be willing, I want us to declare a 3-day fast for me so that when I talk to her I will be like the oracle of God. I want her to agree to go in for rehabilitation, detoxification, counseling, deliverance…whatever it takes!” she cried.
“Of course we will,” Moses agreed.
Nedu nodded, almost choking with his emotions. As they rose to go to the table he pursed his lips.
The man who will marry this girl is very lucky.
Do you want to marry her?
Don’t torture me. I can’t bear it. You know what it cost me to let her go.
It’s time Nedu. Ask her to go to lunch with you next Sunday
For real? A date? I can ask her out?
She will be your wife.
Noooooo! You’re playing
I don’t joke with destinies
Thank you so much! Whoop! I love you so much Holy Spirit.
I love you too!
The End
***********************************************************************************************************************
Dear Holy Spirit, I wrote this story as a love letter to you. I fell in love with you when we met while I was in secondary school and you showed me how to avoid getting into trouble with the senior students. I am amazed by your compassion, your brilliance and your generosity. The reason I wrote this is I want everyone I meet to know you, to know you are the wind in my sails, the spring in my step, the reason for my sunny disposition. Thank you for keeping me. That I passed through the waters and did not drown, passed through fire and did not get singed, climbed mountains and did not gasp for breath is because your voice has always been in ear saying “This is the way. Go this way.” I love you.
Dr. N
@nenabekee
drnsmusings@yahoo.com
The End
Fall On My Sword 20
Nedu and Kevin were at a double date with Kevin’s wife Tamara and Isio. The venue was an ice cream shop a stone throw from church. The outing was planned over the course of two weeks after Nedu and Isio got talking and became fast friends. It would be their first date. Nedu could feel the nerves particularly because he had been unable to hear God’s opinion on him asking Isio out. She was witty and friendly and it was easy to talk to her. He almost began to forget about Didi.
You don’t want me to ask Didi out yet I chose to befriend someone else and you are not giving me your approval either. Is there no winning with you?
I gave you a direct instruction and you flouted it.
But I am tired of being alone. I want to marry. Besides, Isio is everything I everything dreamed of.
You are mine. As a soldier in my army, you obey your commander without complaining.
I am sorry Lord. What do I do now? The girl is already expecting that I will ask her to be my girlfriend. How do I dig myself out? I did not mean to disobey you. Forgive me.
Tell her you want to match make Obinna and her.
My younger brother Obinna? That is not a bad idea. Thank you so much. I will wait for whoever you appoint me to love and cherish. But…Holy Spirit…mee ngwa ngwa…I will be 38 soon. Let people not wonder if there is something wrong with me.
Nwoke m call Obinna and tell him you have found a great girl for him. See your mouth like mee ngwa ngwa. He that believeth shall not make haste. Don’t you know a day is like a thousand years in my sight?
Meaning I will have to wait 1000 years…na wa Oh!
Keep complaining and your wait will be elongated.
Na joke I joke Oh! Sorry sir!
**********************************************************************************************************************
“Stan, hi; I wasn’t to see expecting you in church.”
“Are you kidding me? I couldn’t miss hearing you sing,” Stan says reaching for a hug.
I hug him discretely, slipping out of his grasp almost immediately. Chichi is coming over to say hello. We usually catch up while Moses is helping his mates pack up the equipment. Sometimes we get lunch. On other days we part at the parking lot and I go to find Preye who is always ready to hang out. I have avoided Stan as much as possible and luckily he has been busy with work. It appears my luck has run out.
“It was just back-up,” I deflect his praise.
“Nonsense; I heard you distinctly and you out-sang the others.”
“Well, thank you but remember it is not a competition.”
He takes my hand and intertwines our fingers. “Of course it is not a competition. How can a cheetah race rabbits?”
Chichi is at his side so he turns and hugs her without letting me go. “Hello, Chi; you look nice.”
“Thank you. You have been away for too long. Did you want my friend to go nuts?” Chichi asks, throwing me a conspiratorial wink.
If only she knew what I have gone through in his absence; buying books on sexual purity, praying and fasting, plotting what to do in every scenario: everything but break up with him.
“I missed her as well. You know how I feel about her.” He draws me close and pecks my cheek.
I cringe but he doesn’t notice.
“Aww! You guys are just cute together,” Chichi beams. “Are we getting lunch?”
“No! I want her all to myself. By the time I finish with her, her legs will be shaking!” Stan announces.
“Ewo!” Chichi exclaims. “Take it easy on my friend please. You haven’t paid her bride price.”
“How much is it? I will pay double,” he scoffs.
Mentally, I am fishing for excuses. “How do I extricate myself from this mess? Father help me. I want to serve you in spirit and truth. I can’t keep going round in circles.”
Chichi is laughing and saying something I can’t hear because I am scouting the room for Preye or Annette. I reach into my bag to get my phone and call them for help.
“Baby, shall we?” Stan doesn’t give me time to think but ushers me towards the door.
I wave at Chichi who makes a face at me and turns away. Preye and Annette are not in sight. I can’t make the call without being heard. We get to his car and he opens the door to let me in.
“Let me drive behind you,” I suggest. I am hoping he says yes so I can run away to fight another day.
“We can come back and pick your car in the evening. I have missed you so much. I want you now.”
He is in the driver’s seat, staring into my eyes intensely, breathing into my face. I nod like an agama lizard and he kisses me.
“I love you,” he says.
“I love you too.”
How about me, Didi? Do you love me?
Who are you Lord?
I am your Lord. Do you love me?
I love you Lord.
Why then do you not obey me?
“Didi, I got you your favourite perfume.”
“No way! It has been out of stock in Nigeria for a while. Where did you find it?”
“I wrote to the designer and told him I offended my girlfriend and the only way I could apologize was with a bottle of his perfume. He had his team send me 2 bottles. 1 is complementary.”
“That is unbelievable! You mean I have 2 bottles to myself?” I reach over for a hug but he turns it into something else until I come up for air.
“Keep my reward till we get home. I don’t want these sanctimonious folk to kick you out of the choir.” He smirks and fastens his seatbelt before speeding off.
His statement reminds me of my conversation with the Holy Spirit. In the past I would have chuckled at his criticism of church folk and thrown a few barbs of my own. Now I am one of them and it has just brought me back to reality.
I am saved.
I am filled with the Holy Ghost.
I have been baptized in water.
I know the truth.
I serve in the choir.
“How can I continue serving two masters?”
He doesn’t notice that I am more quiet than usual while he carries on telling me about his trip and all the deals he closed. I am biting my lip because I don’t know how to tell him the relationship is over. I can’t continue to live a lie. Like Sis. Annette said, I have to be single for a while and learn how to serve God with my single status before I commit to serving God as a married woman. Even if he proposes today, I cannot marry him because I can sense that he will end the pretence and forbid me to go to church or sing in the choir. I know he has humored me thus far so as not to scare me.
We pull into the driveway before his house after his gateman opens the gate for us. It is an imposing 5 bedroom house with a pool, pent house, gym and field at the back for his dogs to run in. he has a gardener who comes in 3x a week, a live-in steward and a cook who comes in whenever he is around.
“I asked Kweku to make lunch and leave because I didn’t want any interruptions. I hope you don’t mind dishing the food?” he asks as we step into the house.
“I don’t mind.”
In the foyer, he takes my bag and flings it on the floor. Then he picks me up, kisses me and carries me up the stairs to his room. I find myself placed gently on the bed before I can protest.
“Do you know you are the most beautiful woman in the world?”
“Umm,” I mutter. I feel as though a stone were in my throat.
If you don’t rescue me, I will be here all night and this cycle will never end. Give me a way out Lord. I meant it when I said I am tired. Help me. I feel so weak. I don’t know what to do.
Flee!
Huh? How am I going to do that? All 85kg of him is lying on top of me.
Ask him to go and take a shower.
“Sweetheart?”
“Hmm?” He raises his head from where he was trailing kisses down my neck.
“Could you go and take a shower?”
“Now?” He gives me a quizzical glance.
“’l’ll join you. Let me just get a drink from the kitchen.” I smile hoping he doesn’t read my thoughts.
He makes a face and grunts. “Oh well…what the lady wants, the lady gets.” He rises to pull off his clothes slowly, teasing me till I blush. Then he blows me a kiss and heads for the shower.
When the door closes behind him, I rush downstairs and pick up my bag from where he threw it. Opening the door as quietly as I can manage, I make my way outside.
“Oti, come and open the gate for me,” I call to the gateman.
“Madam, any problem?” he asks as he unlocks it.
“I want to collect something from someone. I will soon be back.” I am almost shaking. I cannot bear the thought of him noticing I left and calling to his gateman to stop me.
Once I am outside, I remember I don’t have my car.
What do I do now? If I call a taxi, he may come outside and see me waiting for it. I don’t want him to talk me into going back.
Call Preye and tell her where you are. Then turn off your phone.
I check to make sure Oti is not watching and then run to a small kiosk down the street. Taking cover behind the owner’s desk, I explain to her that I don’t want my ex-boyfriend to see me. She smiles in understanding and goes to sit outside in order to deflect all intruders. I pull out my phone and call Preye.
“Hi Didi; I didn’t see you after service.”
“Where are you?”
“I am in a friend’s house. She is supposed to give me some fabric for…”
“What street is it? I need you to come and pick me?”
“It is Duromi street. Is there any problem?”
“That is not far from here. I’ll send my address. I am hiding from Stan in a small kiosk called Madam Ice. She is outside. Just tell her you came to pick me. I have to turn off my phone.”
“Are you in any danger?”
“No, I am fine. I will tell you everything when you get here. Please hurry.”
“Okay, I’ll be there shortly.”
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“Didi, what is going on? Stan has been calling me. He said you blocked his number and you are not in your house. What is the matter? Did he hit you?” Chichi asked on phone.
“I sent him a message telling him it is over between us. Why won’t he accept that?”
“What did he do? Did he cheat on you?”
“I want more than he can offer.”
“What more do you want, Didi? The guy is sweet, romantic, stinking rich and caring. I don’t think he deserves this.”
“Chichi, you remember the day I called you to tell you Moses asked me if you smoke weed?”
“Yes, I do.”
“I lied to him and I felt very bad; I felt as if I stabbed a child.”
“It’s not that deep, Didi. You know I would do the same for you.”
“That’s the thing. I don’t want to live that life anymore. I want God to be proud of me. Jesus did not die for us to live this kind of kalo kalo life we have been living.” I am almost in tears at this point.
“I don’t understand.”
“Come clean to Moses. He will forgive you. Wipe the slate clean and make your marriage work.”
“If you want to insult me let me know. What is this about wiping the slate,” Chichi sneers. “Kpachakwara onwe gi anya (Mind your business).”
“Chichi, Moses told me you secured him an investment to import sound equipment. He even asked me to thank you for him.”
“Yes, I did.”
“Does he know you are having an affair with that man?”
“I am doing it for Moses!” Chichi snarls, defensive.
“If you wanted to help him why didn’t you tell him to ask Nedu his friend for the money or the contacts? Nedu is doing something similar, I recall.”
“He said he is already so indebted to him and he wants to surprise them; to prove he is a man. What should I have done? I had to support my husband.”
“You are on a slippery slope, Chichi and I would be a bad friend if I didn’t tell you. End all those relationships and face your marriage.”
Chichi is silent for a while.
“Where are you?” she asks finally.
“I moved in with a friend of mine.”
“Did you quit your job? Stan said you haven’t been at work for a few days.”
“I had to quit. I got that job the wrong way and they will keep using it against me.”
“What are you going to do now?”
“I have some savings. I might go into consultancy as a project manager or look for another job. Right now I am waiting on God to lead me. I don’t want to preempt him. Who knows he might even want me to become a professional gospel musician.”
Chichi laughs. “Musician? That will be the day.”
“You never know.” I laugh as well.
“Chichi, do you promise to think about what I said?”
“I will think about it. It’s scary though, to open up that can of worms. I don’t think Moses can handle it.”
“We can pray for wisdom. I want to introduce you to my best friend, the Holy Spirit. There is no mess he can’t get you out of. Nothing fazes him; he can’t be embarrassed and he is always compassionate. He won’t mock you or use your mistakes against you.”
“Jiri nwayo! One thing at a time. It seems you have become a pastor. Meanwhile, what do I tell Stan?”
“Tell him it’s over. I am with someone else and he has to move on.”
“Is this like self-mutilation or what? Are you punishing yourself for your past?”
“On the contrary, Jesus was punished for our sins. What I am doing is called dying to self. I made the decision to fall on my own sword and I’m loving my new life in Christ. If you decide to do same I will hold your hands and support you.”
“Fall gini? Biko kwa. Take care of yourself.”
“Bye, Chi. I am praying for you.”
“Thank you. I mela. Let me call Stan. I hope he won’t kill himself.”
“He won’t, Chichi. Bye now.”
**********************************************************
Thanks for reading everyone. The Final episode comes up next week after which I will go on a break. I really appreciate all the comments, likes and shares. God bless you real good.
I am @nenabekee or drnsmusings@yahoo.com in case you have questions.
Cheers,
Dr. N
Fall On My Sword 15
Moses and Chichi were having an argument in the living room of the 4 bedroom duplex they had rented just before their wedding. Their domestic assistant was crouching behind the door, trying hard not to be noticed before she could hear what was the cause for this unusual quarrel. Her employers got along pretty well even if she felt Moses overlooked more things than he should.
“Where did you get the money to buy that car, Chichi?”
“It’s Chichi now and no more Chibaby, O kwaya?” Chichi raised an eyebrow in disdain.
“Answer me!”
“Nwoke m. A di na-aba mba there! (Don’t scold me)”
“How did you get the money to buy a car of over N15million naira? We just spent millions on the honeymoon and you did not win the lottery.”
“I have had this car for two years,” Chichi announced solemnly, taking a seat on their leather couch nonplussed.
Moses was speechless. He stood before her, mouth agape, hand extended but not reaching for anything like it got paralyzed mid-air. There was silence for what seemed like hours.
“What else did you hide from me?”
“I have some landed property you don’t know about. Also the rent for this house is actually N3million and not the N1.5million I told you.”
Moses gasped. He sank into the sofa beside her grasping his head with both hands. “Chineke mee!”
Chichi rolled her eyes and made a face. “O gini?”
“Chichi, how could you hide so many things from me? Have I been a fool? What have I got myself into?” Moses’ voice was broken, tearful.
Chichi dropped to her knees and put her hands on his knees. “I’m sorry, my prince, my baby. I am so sorry I lied to you. I was afraid that you’ld be intimidated by the money and all that. So many men have used me and dumped me. Forgive me. I am only a child of my past,” her voice was contrite, pleading.
Moses, wiped his tears and looked up. “Are you sure there isn’t anything more I should know? I mean just the other day you brought pornographic videos for us to watch.”
“I just wanted us to spice up our sex life, my prince. It was Moni my friend from the office that recommended it. I never knew they are demonic till you told me.”
“Is there anything wrong with our sex life?”
“No…mba…I am more than content. Please don’t read more into it than me foolishly listening to a friend.”
Moses shook his head. “I don’t understand you anymore.”
“I am still the Chibaby you know. I love you and I can never hurt you. Please don’t sound like you are disgusted. I can’t bear it,” Chichi’s voice broke as she burst into tears.
Moses tried to ignore her but before long he moved closer and took her in his arms. “I’m sorry. It was just too much too quickly. You shouldn’t have hidden anything from me,” he soothed her as he spoke, smoothening her hair.
“I’m sorry too. I should have trusted you.” She sniffed.
He lifted her head by the chin and gazed into her eyes. “From today, no more secrets; is that a deal?”
“Okay, my love. I won’t ever hide anything from you. You are my prince, my head, my crown.”
Moses sighed and hugged his wife of three months to his chest as tightly as he could, as if by squeezing her closer, he could silence the voice of suspicion whispering in his ears that he was being fooled. He did not want it to be true. This was the woman he had dreamed about, hoped to meet and wished for all his life.
“Lord help me to be a good husband. I know I am the head of the home and this woman is the answer to all my prayers. Help me to be all that she wants me to be.”
*******************************************************************************************************************
“Nne eh! That man wanted to prove he is smart. You needed to see me crying like I lost my birkin bag,” Chichi was telling Didi.
They were hanging out at a restaurant close to Scholl Oil.
“Poor him!”
“Poor him indeed! Even though I told him I wasn’t complaining about anything he nearly gave himself a heart attack in bed last night, trying to prove to me that he is all that and a bag of chips.” She rolled her eyes and burst into laughter.
In the past, Didi would have laughed hard and then said something even more vulgar but she was not the Didi she used to be. She shifted uncomfortably and mopped her brow despite the cool air from the air conditioner.
“O gini? Is Stan acting up?”
“No, we are fine. He has been doing quite a bit of travelling but we are good.”
“Okay because for a minute there I thought I had lost you.”
“It is not as if I am the most holy but, Chichi one has to be careful the seeds one sows…”
“Ta! Don’t tell me about karma. My father that was as mean as they come died peacefully in his sleep. Look at Uju that aborted so many babies in school that the nurses at that clinic started calling her customer. She has 4 children while that girl who was a pastor died in childbirth last year. What’s that her name?”
“Pastor Oghenekaro?”
“That’s the one! POG is what they used to call her. Do you know it was her first pregnancy after 3 failed IVFs? Nobody should tell me about karma. It doesn’t exist. All I do is to try not to hurt my fellow human being so that in case heaven is real my good acts will outweigh my mistakes.” Chichi sucked at her teeth, leaning back in her chair as she nursed her gin.
There was a quiet Interlude while Didi worked on her roast fish and chips, struggling with feelings of inadequacy conflicting with her burden to tell her friend the truth.
“You’re not drinking?” Chichi observed suddenly.
“A naghi m a nuzi mmanya (I don’t drink anymore),” Didi announced solemnly without making eye contact.
“Was it Stan’s idea? First he stopped you from taking weed. Then he didn’t want you clubbing without him. Now…” Chichi’s voice was rising.
“It wasn’t…”
“Don’t give me that…” Chichi fired off some choice expletives. “That guy is controlling and you know it.”
Didi heaved a sigh. “He is a bit controlling, I admit but it was not his idea that I stop drinking.”
Chichi dropped her cup, narrowing her gaze. “Whose was it, then? How are you going to put up with the…” She fired off a few more expletives. “As for the scummy men that our mothers’ generation raised and foisted on us, I need my Dutch courage just to go home and pretend to need Moses.”
“I have something better.”
“What’s that? Codeine? Tramadol? Cocaine? What is it?”
Didi held her gaze. “I have the Holy Ghost.”
Chichi was stumped. She stared at her friend; hand over her mouth like she was bursting with questions but afraid of the answers. For a long time neither friend spoke beause there was nothing to say. Their relationship would never be the same.
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Thanks for reading. kindly like share and retweet via my handle @nenabekee.
Cheers,
Dr.N
Fall On My Sword 12
On our way home I find myself deep in thought. It appears what I thought was an emotional response to a call by a compelling speaker has turned into more. I feel torn, conflicted. It is a Saturday and Stan and I have plans to hang out in a new club his friend opened in Victoria Island. Chichi and Moses are supposed to meet us there as well as some other friends of ours. We are now driving to a boutique so Stan can buy me a new outfit and shoes; the works. Not because I don’t have anything to wear but because he just wants to. I feel tickled but I also feel a tug inside, in a part of me that I never knew had a voice.
Stan is caressing my hand with his right hand and driving with his left. He is talking about how he is going to lock down at least 3 deals tonight at the club but I am only paying partial attention.
“Honey, you need to meet the guys who will be at this party. It’s going down, men! The owner of Xaz airlines, the son of the governor of Kogi state, the owner of Alps systems and many musicians and movie stars are showing up. It’s going to be a wonderful opportunity for me to network and make sales.”
He claps his hands in glee, momentarily releasing mine before reclaiming it.
“And you are going to make every head turn!” He pats my cheek before leaning over for a peck.
“Be careful Babe; you should concentrate on your driving,” I remonstrate.
“Honey, I have never been in an accident for the 20 odd years I have been driving. I am in control.” He laughs.
I shift uneasily and remove my hand from his grasp in order to pick up my phone. He has come to understand that whenever I interrupt a conversation to use my phone it is because I don’t want to argue with him.
“Okay, I apologize. Give me a smile else I’ll park beside the traffic warden and give you a kiss that will end up on social media.”
I smile despite myself. He has done this before; making me blush to my roots even though my dark-skin refused to do the needful. The traffic wardens arrested us for obstructing traffic but by the time he threw money at them they were even asking us if we wanted them to help us book a hotel room.
“The things that money will buy for you in Nigeria are unbelievable!”
“That’s better. You’ll love the boutique I am taking you to. It is owned by a friend of mine, Morris who only caters to the big boys and girls of Lagos. We met in secondary school but it was in Germany we became friends. He actually lived with me for years before he found his feet there.”
“When does the party start?” I ask.
“It won’t start till midnight; you know how these things are. Don’t worry; we will have enough time. Besides I was hoping for some ‘revival’ in the car?” He raises his eyebrows cheekily.
I bat his hands away and release a loud hiss. “We are just coming from bible class and you are still asking for revival. You need help.”
“Don’t be like that, honey. I am just a sinner saved by grace. You know God wants me to be happy. That’s why he brought you into my life.”
We have arrived at our destination so he pulls into their lot and lifts my palm to his lips.
“You do not seriously believe I was born to make you happy?” I scowl.
He murmurs something and pulls me closer. I have so many arguments lined up but for some reason they suddenly fly out of the window. All I can think about is the gorgeous man holding me in his arms telling me I am the most beautiful woman in the world.
“What more do I need? Life is perfect.”
*******************************************************************************************
Nedu and Moses were at final fittings for the suits they would wear to Moses’ wedding. Kevin was to buy food and meet them as he had a few appointments to catch up with. The other members of the train had promised to get theirs done within the course of the week. The wedding was in two weeks. He and other members of the church had accompanied Moses to Chichi’s village for the traditional wedding the previous week. Nedu was amazed by the lavishness of the event. He knew that Chichi had a good job but he was a trader and he was almost losing his mind mentally calculating the cost of the drinks and food that was consumed.
Moses told him that she had sacrificed her life’s savings for their wedding. Nedu thought she was very generous but he doubted they were being wise. Already, Moses was owing him N100,000 and that was besides the money he donated towards the wedding in conjunction with their group of friends. He prayed that his friend was not digging a hole for himself and his new wife.
“Chichi wants me to hire a limousine to drive her to the church on that day.”
“How much is that going to cost?”
“I don’t know but she also wants it filled with fresh white roses. That my babe has great taste!”
Nedu stared at his friend, incredulous. “What did you say, Nwoke m? How are you going to afford that? Do you know the exchange rate?”
“You know I have to make my babe happy. She has to get the wedding of her dreams.”
“I want her to get her dream wedding as well. However, a percentage of this money you are squandering could have been used for you to start the music school you have always wanted. Instead of driving to people’s houses, they can come to you. That way, you get a larger number of people signing up and more income.”
“You like money, Nedu! When will you stop calculating everything in terms of opportunity cost?” Moses playfully punched his arm.
“Even Jesus said we should count the cost before we begin to build a house lest we run out of funds and those who see it mock us,” Nedu argued.
“I am not building a house. I am building a marriage.”
“Your blueprint; O nwekwa ka O di! (It is confusing). What precedent are you setting by never offering a contrary view to her demands and ideas? You can’t start a marriage in that way. The day you decide to put your foot down on any issue she will balk at it because you have given her the impression that she will always have her way.”
“This is the modern era, my friend. We are not in the stone ages where you “put your foot down”. Now, it is all about compromise.” Moses was shaking his head as he spoke reclining in the sofa while Nedu sat by him one foot on the floor and the other leg folded on the seat.
“In every organization there has to be a leader. Compromise does not mean that you should drop the reins. Get your foundation right. Remember what pastor says; “Don’t complain about a pattern you allowed.” It is not even as if you have the money to squander. Gini ka I na-ako ihe a(What is going on here?)”
Nedu turned from him in mild irritation and picked up the magazine on the coffee table. Moses folded his arms over his chest defiantly.
“It is because you are still single. When it is your turn you will do worse than I have done,” he said.
“Tufiakwa! I do not take the grace of God in vain. I intend to put into practice all the things that Pastor Dawodu has been teaching us.”
“Nobody holy pass!” Moses scoffed.
“Brother, without holiness no man shall see the Lord!” Nedu retorted.
There was a pause before they both burst into laughter. Moses was leaning over, rubbing his tummy while Nedu was pounding on his thigh as they shook with mirth when Kevin came in with the food.
“Una still dey laugh? Na him be say hunger never wire una. Make I carry the food go chop!” He pretended he was walking away.
“Guy, behave well!” Moses shouted in jest as they rose and blocked his path. “Bring that food before we teach you the difference between June and July.”
“Men of God!” Kevin laughed as he put down the packages.
Nedu opened one and brought out a drumstick.
“This brother needs to get married. See how he is eating like a starving orphan,” Kevin joked.
“Let it be; after all, you are married but living as a single man since your wife is abroad schooling,” Nedu retorted.
Kevin sat down and let out a “whoosh!”
“How are you coping though?” Moses asked.
“It has not been easy. 6 months without sex is not a laughing matter,” he replied.
“It should be easy for someone like you who remained a virgin till your wedding night,” Moses said.
“Guy, as the woman don dis-virgin me, the fountain has been opened.”
Nedu and Moses laughed. “It’s not the same?” Nedu asked.
Kevin shook his head. “The worst thing is that one girl I met on facebook has been sending me nude pictures. I nearly drove to a hotel to meet her last night.”
“Haba!” Nedu exclaimed. “And you are just telling me? Give me your phone.”
He dropped the chicken and wiped his hands on a napkin. Taking the phone he allowed Kevin to open his facebook page. Without speaking, he sent the girl a message that the relationship was over and blocked her account. Next, he deleted all her nude pictures from the phone and blocked her number.
“If she ever calls you with another number I want you to call me immediately and we will make it a conference call,” Nedu instructed.
“Thanks.” Kevin let out a sigh.
“Don’t thank me yet. We need a prayer chain tonight. Your hedge is already broken so we need to fix it. Secondly, you need to tell Amina.”
“No, please I can’t!”
“I can’t make you but I think you need her to know what you are going through so she can help you. Why don’t we put money together for you to pay her a visit?” Nedu suggested.
Moses who had been quiet spoke up. “I hope it is not the money meant for my wedding that you are eyeing?”
“My friend, keep quiet!” Kevin responded with a playful tap on his head. “Thanks bro,” he said to Nedu. “I don’t know what we would have done without you.”
“Hey, we have to be there for one another, don’t we?” He patted kevin’s back.
The three men nodded silently. Just then the shop attendant came in and asked them to come to the changing room to try on their suits after having lunch. They pounced on the food again, eager to get the fittings done with. It had been a long morning.
***********************************************************************************************
Fall On My Sword 6
Chapter 4
Nedu was in a trance. He was sitting in his room at home, going over the song selection for the choir on his computer when he felt as if he was in a concert hall. He saw himself on stage singing a fast tempo song. There was a large crowd. Everyone was singing along and dancing. Then he spotted someone in the front seat who was dancing like he was deaf. His dance steps were not in tune with the song. Nedu saw himself stop the song and ask the security team to walk the fellow out. Suddenly, the trance ended.
‘What does this mean Lord?” he asked aloud, placing his hand on his abdomen as was his custom. “I don’t understand. Why would I interrupt praise only to embarrass someone who does not know how to dance?”
He cocked his ear, hoping for clarity but he did not hear anything. Dropping to his knees, he began to pray in the spirit, groaning loudly without knowing why. He could sense he was interceding for someone but he did not know who.
“Perhaps Harvey is in trouble.”
Harvey was his cousin and childhood best friend whose salvation had been a long-standing prayer point. They had both been members of an R and B singing duo until Nedu got saved and joined the choir. Harvey had gone on to release a few singles but did not become a huge success. He wrote songs for more successful artists to make ends meet but his dream was to become famous. Nedu’s dream was for him to be saved and filled with the Holy Ghost. The thought made Harvey laugh.
“You mean I should leave all the honeys out there, all the shisha, all the Hennessy? I should live this kind of life you are living?” he would say and cackle making a rude sign to say that Nedu had lost his mind.
“Concentrate on what you will be gaining and not on what you will be giving up.”
“Which is what exactly? What would I be gaining?”
“Deliverance from addictions for starters; you can’t even sleep without getting high. Look at you; Harvey you need help.’
“I am just fine, thank you. I don’t want any part of your ‘born againism’. Spare me the lecture.”
Nedu began to cry as he remembered his cousin. “Deliver him Lord. Do not allow him to die without accepting the gift of salvation. Place a hedge around him till his heart is soft enough to hear you. I know it is because he is running from you that his life has been spiraling out of control. Take away the veil blinding his mind and show him the light.”
Chichi came to tell me all about their visit to Uncle Tari. We are sitting outside my house nursing drinks. She likes gin but I am a red wine girl.
“Is Moses still insisting on meeting someone from your father’s side?” I ask.
“Insist?” she scoffed. “O di egwu! (How likely)”
We both burst into laughter. The thought of his making such a demand was absurd. He was behaving exactly as she had predicted years ago when I asked her who would marry two party-girls who had a body count longer than the voters’ register at the last elections.
She had said, “When the time comes, I will marry a man who will be so crazy about me that he will be afraid to ask questions lest he lose me; a man who will not dare to order me about or raise his hand to me like my father did my mom.”
When the mirth ceases, we lean back in our chairs watching the antics of her puppy Manuel. He is playing with a bone-shaped toy Chichi got him on her last trip to Antigua.
“What do you think about Stan?” I ask.
She is silent, thoughtful. “Do you like him?”
“I kind of like him,” I admit. “He is very persistent. My phone battery will soon wear out from constant chats and calls. Besides, he is quite a looker.”
“Well, you have always dreamed of someone from fairy tale land. I don’t think he is husband-material. He will want to be in charge and know everything you do. We have only met once but he appears to have a strong personality. Can you handle it?”
I purse my lips. Chichi has issues with control because of her childhood but I grew up in a relatively happy home. My parents may be divorced now but they hid the cracks in their marriage till we grew up. My two older brothers and I were never exposed to their altercations or anything else which would make me balk at the thought that a husband would want to know where I am or who I am with. I nod.
“I think I will give him a chance. He has not gone to first second base yet and I can tell how impatient he is.”
“Is there any man who does not want to go there? Even Bro. Moses who was telling me how we would have to wait till our wedding night because he does not want to disappoint his pastor; the day I spent the night for us to pray for discernment whether God approves of us or not, he was the one who made the first move.” Chichi clucked her tongue.
I let out a guffaw, bending over to hold my sides. Chichi sits there, straight-faced. She has a great sense of humor. She is able to make you laugh without even smiling. She only calls Moses ‘Bro’ when she wants to make fun of him.
“Did I say anything bad?” she asks.
“No, you did not…” I am still panting.
“I have joined the ushers in Shepherd Centre since they said they will not wed us if I am not a church volunteer,” she announces.
“When was this?”
“I filled the forms last Sunday. The training is for two weeks, starting on Monday. You do know this means you are automatically a member of my church now, right?”
“Me? How does this concern me?” I make a face at her.
“You have to join the church please. I need you in my corner.” She takes my hand and tugs at it.
“Hmmm. Let me think about it.”
Chichi picks up her phone and begins to type in it. I rise to use the bathroom. My laundry man has just dropped off my laundry so the fragrance of newly-washed clothes fills the corridor. I inhale deeply and smile. It’s not just the laundry though. Stan sent me flowers, so I have another source of pleasant scents. After using the bathroom, I linger by the vase, cradling the roses to my chest and breathing in their perfume. Flowers always make me smile.
“Didi!” I hear Chichi call so I head for the porch.
“Yes?”
“I invited Stan to church and he said he will be there. He can’t come with us though cause he will be late. He has a client to meet with at 9.30.”
“You invited who? When did we agree to do that?” I am already bristling.
She waves a hand to dismiss my concerns. “Calm down. I did not steal his number from your phone. He is following me on twitter. I simply sent him a message.”
Her excuse seems plausible but it takes a while for my breathing to return to normal. I am known for my quick temper and I do not trust her. She has seduced a number of my boyfriends in the past and each time I confronted her she would claim they were not worth my while since they fell for her so easily. On each occasion we fought for a few weeks but we always made up because our bond was strong. I was not so deluded as to write off her behavior but I really did not care for any of those men so it was difficult to remain angry at her betrayal.
I remember that Stan did not ogle her when I introduced her to him and I let out my breath. He had later told me that he preferred dark-skinned women and that he loved my slim frame. I smile again at the memory.
“Is that a yes?” Chichi asks.
I roll my eyes and let out an expletive.
“Don’t call me such names. I am a child of God,” she feigns horror.
“Child of God indeed! You think God doesn’t know his children?”
“Pass me the bottle, please. You are becoming boring. I don’t know what is wrong with you.”
I make a hissing sound and pass her the gin. “You need Jesus!”
“Hallelujah!” She raises a hand and closes her eyes as she responds.
I shake my head and take out my phone to chat with Stan. I want to gauge his mood so I can find out if she has come between us. She also takes out her phone to chat. The rest of the evening passes with little or no conversation till she passes out drunk.
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Thanks for reading and for all the kind comments.
If you are not following me on twitter @nenabekee or sharing this story…wyd? Lol.
I believe I have made up for all the delay and if you are still angry with me, come closer let me tug at your ear. Hahaha
Cheers, Dr. N
Fall On My Sword 3
Hello Muses, forgive me for my absence. It was due to unforeseen circumstances. I’ll try to make up for it.
Enjoy.
Two days later, I get a call from the Range rover guy. He introduces himself as Stanley and I immediately christen him Stan. Chichi says this is the best way to get intimate with a guy within minutes. He addresses me by name before I tell him my name and I laugh because I know he used a phone app to discover it. His voice is so incredibly husky, it gives me the shivers.
“I am sorry I didn’t call earlier,” he apologizes.
“That’s fine,” I lie.
It is not fine. I had spent those 2 days regretting making the 1st move. I had only tried it twice before. The first time, he turned out to be married and I have a principle of avoiding married men. The 2nd time, the guy was such a cheapskate; he tried to make me pay for our first date by pretending he forgot his wallet in the car. I offered to go and get it for him but he smiled and said “Or you could just help me out.” I asked for the ladies room and made my way home from there. I had already blocked his number in the taxi.
Chichi laughed at me and insisted that I not give up. As far as she was concerned, the more times I tried, the better I would get at it. I was not so sure.
“How does lunch today sound?” he asks.
I glance at my watch. The time is 3pm. “Lunch? It’s 3!”
“Really, I didn’t know. I have been so busy. How about a late lunch then? I really want to see you.”
“Suddenly someone is in a hurry after I nearly developed stomach ulcers from worrying.”
“Tomorrow is fine. How does 12 noon sound?”
“Ouch!”
“What is the matter?”
“That felt like ‘rejection’. Ouch!” he makes an exaggerated sound.
I can’t help laughing.
“Let me buy you dinner. I promise to be good,” he begs.
“I already made plans…”
“I’ll do a video call on my knees if that is what it takes.”
“You know what, I’ll see you at 5pm for drinks but I have to leave at 7pm. I have a work dinner.”
“Awesome. You made my day. That wasn’t so hard, was it?”
I make a face but refrain from replying. I don’t really like being pushed and I do have a date at 7 with Tolu (even if I plan to dump him once I verify that Stan is a worthy replacement). Tolu has been the one I use to escape my mom’s sharp tongue. Each time she calls to ask me when I am going to fix a date for my wedding, I wonder what I would have done if I had no boyfriend. No matter what anyone says, I am not letting him go till I get into another relationship.
I cannot remember a time when I didn’t have a man. God created too many fine men for me to be walking around morose, mourning any relationship. The minute I sense a man growing cold on me, I put myself out there so that someone awesome (in this case Stan) appears like a knight in shining armor and rescues the princess (my humble self). My mantra has been “Fly like a butterfly; sting like a bee”. And it has worked for me for years. I am not about to change strategy; not at 33 years.
Stan and I exchange a few more pleasantries and end the call. I begin to strategize on how to get out of my date with Tolu. Tolu and I met online. He helped me find my present job and also bought me my first car. Thereafter I have taken care of myself most of the time. It is only when I need something extravagant that I get someone to pay for me. That someone should have been Tolu but he is as slippery as an eel; here today, gone tomorrow. Not long ago, a girl called me to warn me off him. I laughed at her. She actually thinks she owns him. Chichi simply arranged for some rough-looking fellows to show up in her parents’ home and threaten her. I am sure her parents will keep her off Tolu; if for no other reason, for their own safety.
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“Moses, how long has your girlfriend been saved?” Nedu asked.
He frowned, joined his fingers behind his head and leaned back in his chair. “I am not sure. She said she has always gone to church and you can see she loves the Lord,” he replied.
“How am I supposed to see that?”
“She left her Anglican church to start attending ours and she is even willing to go through our bible class to register as a member. I think that shows commitment.”
“Is she filled with the Holy Spirit?”
“I am not sure…”
“Does she pray; scratch that, do you both pray together?”
“We have actually been spending a lot of time getting to know each other, trying to confirm if we are compatible.’
“That’s good. How do you confirm compatibility?”
“You know…” He squirmed. “As a couple, you need to be compatible…”
“Okay, I see you don’t want to talk about it. Has your prayer partner met her?”
“Chuks? That one wanted to snatch my girl. He was misbehaving around her. I don’t want to ever have two of them in the same room again.” Moses gesticulated angrily.
“Misbehaving? Did he come on to her?”
“He was smiling like a foolish puppy, moping at her with his tongue nearly hanging out…what’s the word? Drooling, yeah…drooling!” Moses made a hissing sound.
“That is serious. Did you confront him?”
“No, he will only deny it. I know she’s a great catch but she is my catch not his.” Moses took a gulp from the glass of juice in front of him.
They were in Nedu’s house having a chat after rehearsing a song Nedu was to sing in church the next Sunday. Nedu could not explain the disquiet he always felt when Chichi’s name came up. He had devoted a few days to praying for clarity but all he heard was “There is a way that seems right to a man.” He did not know what to do with it. As was the case whenever he was nervous, he began to tap his right foot on the floor.
“Is anything wrong?” Moses asked.
“I don’t want you to take this the wrong way but I feel you should postpone the proposal and fast about this decision. Marriage is a big commitment and you need to hear from God.”
“Are you not the one who said that God will not come down and choose for us? Didn’t the bible say “he that finds”? You need to loosen up, man!”He threw a playful punch at his shoulder.
Nedu rubbed at his shoulder, absent-minded. “Hmm…”
“Na wetin?”
“I have not heard anything that convinces me that this lady has any spiritual heritage worth mentioning. Besides, you both have been using your time together to explore yourselves sexually,” Nedu said.
“How did you know?” Moses was genuinely shocked.
“The Spirit of God told me; and He said that your sense of judgment is getting more clouded each time you compromise like that. Have you forgotten our purity pledge? You should have let Chuks know you were under pressure. Instead you accused him of having an interest in your girlfriend. That is the devil’s tool-isolation.”
Moses bowed his head and heaved a sigh. “Bro, I won’t lie; I have been trying to control myself around her but bodi no be firewood. She’s the kind of girl I always dreamed about but never thought I would marry. I can’t even keep it together when I’m with her. I have tried binding, loosing, communion, feet-washing, all sorts of things; but the moment we are alone…”
“You are binding what you are carrying around?” Nedu asked in humor.
Moses looked up and laughed.
“What is her stance on chastity? Is she up for it?”
“She is. In fact she said had abstained for 3 years before we met. One unfortunate guy broke her heart and made her swear off guys till we met. That is why I feel like I have been a huge disappointment to God and to her. I am supposed to be the man. I am supposed to keep it together. I should be the one protecting her innocence. Instead, I have been the problem.” Moses bit his lip in regret.
“Let’s pray together. I believe all is not lost. God will always show us the way out if we ask.”
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Cheers,
Dr.N
Fall On My Sword 2
Didi and Chichi were chatting with Moses when Nedu approached. He barely noticed Didi as Moses, beaming with smiles gave him a hug and introduced Chichi. She gave him her best smile (the one that said I know I am all that and you wish I was with you but it’s never going to happen). He shook her hand and smiled back for he couldn’t help himself. She was gorgeous.
“Father, remember me too. How did this bro who can barely muster the courage to ask a woman out win this stunner? Wonders shall never end!”
“Meet my best friend Didi,” Chichi was saying. “She is a project manager for Scholl Oil.”
“Hello. I hope you enjoyed the service,” he said to Didi as they shook hands.
“I did. You sing very well.”
“That’s right. You led the singing. I really enjoyed it,” Chichi added. She had the habit of cutting in when Didi was speaking but Didi was used to it. It made people assume she was quiet but it was just easier to give in to Chichi who hugged all the attention like a plant hugs the sun on a chilly day.
“Thank you. I won’t hold you up. It was nice meeting you,” he patted Moses on the shoulder. “Have a good one.”
“Okay.”
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I watched Nedu as he left, my eyes following his tall, dark and slim frame for as long as I could do so discreetly. He is handsome and his face is given to smiling. I can tell from the laugh lines around his mouth and his bright eyes. However, I know he will not be mine because he is already enamored with Chichi and no man I have ever dated has fallen for her. Besides, I can tell he will not be as easy to fool as Moses was. I heard him lead the worship and I can sense he is different from Moses; probably older and wiser.
“Let’s take my car,” Moses suggests. “Didi can drive yours.”
Of course Chichi agrees. I don’t feel upset because I would rather be the 3rd wheel than be all alone this Sunday. Tolu the boyfriend is out of town, I have no plans for the day and I want the opportunity to watch Chichi work her magic on Moses.
“I’ll drive on the condition that you play the guitar for us,” I say.
“Of course I will,” he agrees.
Chichi makes a face at me but I smile at her. I know she is worried that I have learned so much from her that I am becoming a threat; so I grin. She can’t get rid of me at this point because Moses will wonder why. He lifts his guitar case with his left hand and takes her hand in his right. We turn and head to the parking lot where she hands me her keys and struts off with him.
I drop my bag on the passenger seat and pull off my shoes after getting in. The car is a 6-year old Toyota Camry. My car is the Lexus SUV of last year. I have not bought myself a husband-hunting car because I want to see if Chichi’s approach will work. She assured me years ago that she knew exactly how to get any man to propose to her and that our lifestyle would not hinder her from getting a husband. It is not that she lacked offers for marriage but she wanted one in which she would be in control. Many men have promised her heaven and earth if she would marry them; young, old, married, widowed, divorced, engaged, all manner of men. And the majority of them were rich and influential.
“Nne, a cho gi m onye ga-aku m ihe biko (I don’t want a wife-beater please),” she would say.
My Igbo was not as fluent so I usually replied her in English.
“I won’t present a false image of myself just to get married,” I argued.
“Noro there (Keep waiting)! These men are all the same. They want an accomplished wife but when they marry her they want to turn her to an accomplished housekeeper. Ara gbachi kwa ha nti! (May madness strike them)”
“Not my own husband, please.”
“They cannot all be the same. My dad was a pretty decent man.”
“Yes, he was. Still, in old age, he moved out and remarried.”
“Well, you can’t blame him. My mother was the one who had an affair.”
“Do you know what she was enduring? If he was the one who cheated, wouldn’t she have been expected to forgive and forget? Gini ka I na-ako ihe a? (What do you mean?). I hate double standards.”
“I am not saying he was perfect. I am only pointing out that he was faithful throughout the time they lived together.”
“Hapu ihe a (Forget it). Men are scum!”
I thought about our argument while driving to the restaurant where we were having lunch. The Camry made a squeaking noise each time I tried to negotiate a bend and the steering wheel was stiffer than that of my car. Otherwise, the journey was smooth. I could see Moses pulling into the lot in his old Honda CRV. It was so old that I couldn’t even tell what year it was made and that was unusual for a car freak like me. One of my hobbies was guessing the year a car was made. This one was falling apart but it was a blessing as far as Chichi was concerned.
You see, the Honda was the reason they met. It had broken down in front of her office when Moses stopped to use the ATM on that street. He played the guitar professionally and was on his way to someone’s home to coach them. She spotted him from her Range Rover but parked inside and walked out to offer him assistance. Before he knew what he was in for, she had called him a mechanic, exchanged numbers with him and dug her well-manicured claws into his consciousness. The rest, as they say, was a piece of cake.
Chapter 2
Nedu sensed disquiet as he left Moses and Chichi. Moses had already confided in him that he was planning to propose to her that month. He had told him that she was beautiful but when he met her he realized Moses’ vocabulary was seriously wanting. This was the kind of girl he suspected would be high maintenance and he wondered how Moses would cope with his earnings from playing the guitar. Also, Moses was unable to answer any question about Chichi’s spiritual heritage; he just went on and on about how caring she was and how understanding she was. Nedu smelled a rat.
The issue was that Moses had been turned down by at least 3 of the girls he had asked out in church. As far as Nedu was concerned, it wasn’t that he was a bad catch; he just went for the wrong girls. First, Moses tried to befriend the pastor’s daughter. At almost 40, they had an 18 year age gap. The girl was a graduate of an Ivy League school who had lived in the US for most of her life. She had a job in an architectural firm and was also running the church’s school for the less privileged. Who in his right senses would expect her to get excited about his offer?
He tried to introduce Moses to more level-headed sisters in church but no; he wanted very young, flighty and immature girls. Chichi was no spring chicken but Nedu had 2 sisters and he could tell that her handbag alone could replace Moses’ jalopy of a car. If she loved him genuinely, there was a chance of them being happy together but he just couldn’t put his finger on what he sensed.
As was his custom, Nedu sat in his car and prayed. He always put both hands on his upper abdomen when he needed to hear from God. It reminded him of the scripture “Out of his belly shall flow rivers of living water”. That was his way of focusing; tuning out the distraction of church-goers filing out of the premises and all the thoughts besieging his mind in order to pray.
He prayed in his heavenly language, moving his lips slightly but keeping his eyes open so those passing would not know what he was doing. A few had already accused him of being ‘too spiritual’. He didn’t want to spook them any further. Hopefully, it wouldn’t be to his disadvantage the day he decided it was time to marry. Right now, he wasn’t in a relationship. He had only been in one since he got born again at the age of 18 and she broke up with him because her parents wanted her to marry someone from her own tribe. From that day, he resolved not to get into any other relationship except God revealed to him that that was the lady he would marry.
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I was on my way home from Chichi’s house where I had parked when I saw him. He was tall, fair, drop- dead gorgeous and dressed to the nines. At the gate leading to Chichi’s estate, he sat in his very new Range rover, probably waiting for whoever he was visiting to sign him in. I hit reverse and pulled in beside him. It was time to pull out a card from the bag of tricks I had learned from Chichi.
I got down without turning off my engine to beat the security guard who was already approaching perhaps to let him in and walked over to him. Tapping on his window, I gave him my best smile. It’s not as good as Chichi’s but it’ll have to do. He winds down and looks askance at me. I lean forward, not too provocatively so as not to put him off but just enough to convey my message.
“Today is your lucky day. It’s ‘give-your-number-to-a-stranger’ day,” I say.
He smiles at me. Of course he can’t help himself and I know it. I stretch out my hand for his phone. He puts it in my hand. I type in my number and dial it.
“What’s the name?” he asks as he collects his phone.
“You’ll find out when you call,” I reply and turn to walk back to my car.
I can feel his eyes following me so I make sure that my walk will remain in his memory for a long time.
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Fall On My Sword
Chapter 1
Chichi invited me to her church. I know she is supposed to meet up with her boyfriend Moses, who plays guitar in their church. Moses is “the one”. Of course he doesn’t know it yet but his life has been planned for him. He is not tall enough but he is handsome and kind and he doesn’t ask too many questions. What more does a girl need in a husband? Money? No, money is for the desperate, thirsty girls out there who want to eat their cake and have it. Chichi works in an investment firm and handles the portfolios of the richest men and women in Nigeria. She has a sugar daddy for career advancement, one for trips abroad and another for high-end expenses. Moses is the one who will marry her and give her the title “Mrs”. I envy him. He is getting a great girl.
Their church has a very fancy name; The Shepherd Centre. I like it. I have only been here twice but the music is always great and the guys drool-worthy. What our native wear does to men; only God will deliver young ladies!
She drove us there in her humble car, the car that she used when husband-hunting. Moses has never seen her G-wagon. He doesn’t know of her 2 houses and property in Port-Harcourt. As far as he is concerned, she is a secretary in her firm and earns N200, 000.
That is just her basic salary, however. Last night she spent double that amount on the champagne alone while we clubbed. It was the birthday of a mutual friend and we threw her a party complete with male strippers, sex toys, weed and a few other substances guaranteed to lift our spirits from the dreariness of the Lagos hustle.
“Didi help me put on my bracelet,” Chichi asked.
She has called me Didi rather than Ndidi from the first day we met. She wanted our names to rhyme. Fortunately, everyone already called her Chichi rather than Chizitere Onyema. We met during NYSC (I’m sure you have heard about the compulsory 1 year service to the nation that gives the Nigerian government the right to fling you to the far corners of the earth and pay you a pittance for teaching children who have no intention of learning anything). During the orientation in Nassarawa state, she was the toast of the camp with her fair oval face and brown eyes, her figure that was just at the edge of being voluptuous and her ‘come-hither’ voice. We became friends when she rescued me from a soldier who was harassing me for avoiding the parade. He was already raising his voice when she slid over (I was hiding in mammy market) and said in that her ‘come-hither’ voice “Officer, please excuse me!”
He turned to stare at her like he was on puppet-strings, mouth-agape. Since then I have seen her do this to many people of both sexes. Her voice is so soft and sweet that when she speaks you feel sorry for her. I have seen her end quarrels just by saying “Hello”. (Like I said earlier, Moses is a lucky man). Anyway, the soldier pointed at his chest like a child and said “Me?”
She nodded and made a sign for him to come to her. He smiled sheepishly and followed her. I didn’t wait to find out where they went but ran back to the parade ground. A few minutes later, I saw her join the parade. I later found her and said thanks. She waved away my gratitude, smiling.
“What did you tell him?” I asked.
“O, he’s a teddy bear. I told him I needed help learning to march. He assumed I was offering more,” she said and laughed. Even her laugh was alluring. The way she threw back her head and opened her mouth very slightly such that a gentle ringing sound came forth; I knew I had to enroll in her school of seduction.
8 years later, I think I have done well for myself. This morning I am wearing an Ankara print shift dress but it was made by one of the big names in Nigerian fashion so it is remarkable. My nude shoes are louboutins, my make-up is great (I paid a lot of money for professional tutoring after all), my purse is chanel and my fragrance is Versace. I may not be as pretty as Chichi but the package is alright. Maybe I will get noticed by one of the brothers in the choir as well. The current boyfriend Tolu , is not saying anything that sounds like “Marry me”. I am not going to keep waiting for him to choose me from his myriad of girls (Yes I know he is unfaithful but there is this saying about a bird in hand…).
I help Chichi put on her bracelet and we get down from her car. A quick check in the car mirror and we start walking into the church, bibles in hand. She is wearing a yellow dress that clings to her in ways help you appreciate her flat abdomen (if you can take your eyes off her figure). We were 15 minutes late. The ushers in black smile at us, shake our hands and guide us to seats on the 2nd row to the right. I drop my possessions on my seat and rise to join the singing. The songs are new to me (I grew up catholic but I have attended many Pentecostal churches these past 4 years in Lagos). I fix my gaze on the screens so I can learn the lyrics or at least mouth them so I don’t look disinterested. No brother in this church will give me a 2nd glance if I don’t look spiritual enough.
It is actually not hard to get caught up in the emotion of the music. I spot Moses on the stage, strumming his stuff but I can’t concentrate on him. After a while, I am in my own world, Chichi, Moses, the crowd fades away. I find myself raising my hands to worship, swaying to the music. One song in particular keeps ringing in my mind long after we sit down and the pastor begins to speak. I barely hear him. I find myself distracted, not by the fashion of other attendees as used to be the case but by thoughts I cannot explain their origin.
“Turn to Psalm 33 verse 11,” the pastor was saying. “The counsel of the Lord stands forever, the thoughts of his heart to all generations. Nothing can thwart God’s plan for your life, not your mistakes, your stubbornness, your pride, nothing! He sacrificed his son on the cross of calvary. That gives him a right to your life. You think you own it but you are living on borrowed time.”
I felt a stab in my heart. A wave or tremor or something went through my stomach. I glanced at Chichi. She was chewing gum, her face impassive. No one else around me looked like they felt what I was feeling. I sat up and crossed my legs. Maybe it was the moi-moi I ate in the club that caused the rumble in my stomach. Flicking my hair over my shoulder, I took my gaze off the pastor. Suddenly, he was too intense for my comfort. I brought out my phone and began to check twitter. My timeline provided the much needed distraction. Soon, the disquiet eased and I relaxed.
“ Maybe I ought to find the restroom after the service.”
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The service was over but the music director wanted to speak to Nedu.
“Good job bro!” he gave him a hi-5.
“Praise God! I thought my voice would be cracked after last night.”
“No, it was fine.”
“Yeah”
“Why did you drag that song for so long though? It went on forever. I asked Veno to start a new song on the keyboard to give you a cue but you didn’t notice.”
“I did notice but I don’t know why God just wanted me to keep singing that song. Each time I tried to change it, I felt I should stick with it.”
“Okay, I won’t argue with that. Thankfully, it didn’t get boring.”
“I have to go. Moses wants to introduce me to someone.”
“He does? That spiritual brother? I didn’t know he has a girlfriend,” Teni laughed as he spoke.
“Neither did I!”
“I want the full gist…with pictures, my guy.” He extended a hand for a handshake as Nedu laughed and turned to leave.
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To be continued
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Dr.N
Dr. N's Musings 